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Guest Befuddled

Best Course Of Action For A Confused Soul

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Guest Befuddled

Hello all, first time I've ever posted anything but am a long time lurker. I was just wondering if my brothers and sisters here can help me out/give me some advice.

I am a first year in university in the UK, I have met a girl who is 1st year in Uni also but in Australia. I am a Sikh from a Sikh Indian Punjabi household and she is agnostic and White.

Now my question is what shall I do? I do not know what to tell anyone. I am a very private person and whilst my parents are not overly conservative I know what is "expected of me" ie nice Indian/Sikh/Punjabi kori and such. But honestly I do love this girl and she loves me, this is not some sort of immature/childish fantasy, I know what love is and regardless of anything else I do feel like we are soul mates. I am not interested in the sexual aspect of this relationship- that is immaterial to me, I love her as a person- that she is attractive is rather irrelevant to me. Now Sikhi teaches that once two souls are married they become one, that there is no Sikh/Hindu/Muslim/other that we are all on different paths to the same ultimate goal and as such her religion and mine is immaterial, isn't it? one should respect one's parents and I feel like I am being dishonest and disloyal by keeping such things from them.

I am very conflicted, I would very much like to tell them but then I am also aware this could be received less than desirably and there is nothing I wouldn't do for this girl.

Am I being a bad son?

Am I being a bad Sikh?

I would never even think about it but do I ask her to convert (this is strictly against my personal beliefs and against Sikhi, right?)

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Guest OhDearMe

hey:) im no expert but I thought I may just say this...

its good that your saying that your attraction is not due to anything physical etc. I really respect that because now a days that's all people really think about! But what we all must remember is what gurbani teaches us about maya.

maharaj teaches us that maya comes to get you in may forms and disguises so this may include love education knowledge wealth.

If your considering sikhi in this matter in my opinion what you should try and do is keep control over this. You have to show your desires that you are in charge, I'm assuming that your still young as your at uni so what you should do is focus on your work and jap naam . As time goes on and you meet other people and see more of the world you may feel that your feelings change or either you may feel they remain the same. But what I'm saying is as a Sikh you should not really be getting in relationships before marriage.

Also mentioning the souls joining, what a Sikh should be looking in a life partner is someone who will help them on this spiritual path rather than leer you away from sikhi and into more maya. So if you feel that this person will help you and be on your side when meditating and worshiping the beloved then that's brilliant as sangat pays a massive role in our lives. Even unintentionally with even noticing people around you effect your thinking. (not always in the bad way )

Personally I think the child and parent thing is a two way thing. Parents and children should meet in between so that both sides are happy and have a balance. We must remember that our parents have seen more of the world than us and sometimes, you know, when their explaining something to you it may just be a personal experience they've had, when they've been in the same situation as you. I know sometimes parents don't understand but at the end of the day I suppose their doing what they think is best for you as every parent wants best for their child. You should try speaking to your parents they may not understand but at least they'll know how you think and feel, because the worst thing is when parents think their kids are something else and in reality their kids is totally different.

But do remember these are only my views, hope you luck :)

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