Sikhs Should Have 4 Kids

[BritishSingh]

You can't be born a Sikh. To say one is born a Sikh would be the same as saying Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji was born a Hindu which is just plain wrong. One is a Sikh by following Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji's hukam. Also you can't have more children than Vaheguru will allow you to have.

[S1ngh]

Though I don't really like that way this issue was raised by jatehdar sahib for religious reasons but I do understand the importance of reasoning behind this and I totally support this only for social reasons. For ex: we really really really need high numbers when it comes in political field and to get stuff out of government. If we don't have good numbers then nobody will care about our haq/issues etc.

[stingers12]

what neo singh said is true its about quality not quanity,

[stingers12]

Baba Nand Singh Nanaksar died in 1943 predicted partition 1947 and told his followers in one village in pakistan to make a fort with iron doors that will come in use later. Even though it was expensive to build and some doubted him. They build it anyway.During 1947 the whole village went in the fort and not a single person was killed and then all made it safely across. This is just one example added to the one above. He is an institution in itself with utmost Bhakti Of Guru Nanak and Guru Granth Sahib.

[stingers12]

but that time would be very far away

[chatanga]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Oh I don't know...

A) 1 AM waking/feeding/diapering child #2.

B) 3-4 AM milk demands of child #1.

C) Managing kids for at least 3-4 hours of the day while meals are prepared.

D) Managing kids while parents actually get sleep, not night naps for a few hours. It has been years since either of us managed 8 hours of sleep at night or anything close.

E) As needed assistance with illness - that affects the entire family.

F) Babysitting while parents actually get 2-3 hours per week to do luxury things like grocery shopping, car repairs and ironing clothes. We are not husband and wife to each other, we are mother and father to our kids.

​G) Doing above and maintaining an Amritvela, doing Simran, Paath, seva, attending Gurudwara divans - you know, BEING a Gursikh.

H) Many MANY more things...

Yes, I am sure I am a weak person who is not the Superdad and my wife is not Supermom, but we are two average parents trying to raise our kids. Funny how other Gursikhs in the area are facing the same challenges we are as parents, so we know we aren't the only ones. A few who have one have already commented that when they see us, they are scared away from having two - quite the handful they are.

Ok, so how are you different from any other parents? And how are you different from the previous generations before you?

[ms514]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Proactive Ji:

"The aim is to have 4 kids not to have 4 kids in 4 years. If you leave a few years between each kid then by the time one has started nursery, the other one is still a baby and so on. Complying with the edict won't be possible for those westernised Sikhs who have moved out of the parents home as soon as they have got married. It takes the whole family. the parents. the grandparents, the uncles and aunts to raise kids. "

So...by calculating this out and assuming that each child takes 5 years to start school, it would take 20 years to output 4 children (not everyone can afford pre-school/pre-K etc.). 20 years??!! What age should we start - 15, so the child will be born when 35? Agreed that western/city dwelling Sikhs cannot comply with this edict. That is the exact point - what good is it to make an edict that Gursikhs cannot comply with? It dilutes the influence of the Jathedar of Akaal Takht Sahib to pass edicts that cannot be acted upon. The intent may be noble, but it is not actionable for many Sikhs. Absolutely appreciate your comment about how it takes much more than just parents to raise children.

chatanga Sahib:

"Ok, so how are you different from any other parents? And how are you different from the previous generations before you?"

That is exactly the point: We are not any different from the current generation of city dwelling Sikhs. All the city dwelling Sikhs with little or no support structure (and there are a LOT of them) are experiencing similar difficulties. My own mother, who is of the previous generation, also says that we drove her near to the point of insanity while trying to take care of us because she did not have support of family/community to raise children either. How we are different from the previous generation is that the majority of Sikhs were extended families living together/close proximity and/or small village structure where there was a lot of help and sharing of children. It is common expression that it takes an entire village to raise a child. The current family/community structure is vastly different in previous generations (grandparents and before) than the current one (for city dwelling ones anyways).

Back to the point: If we, as a typical Sikh family, are struggling with 2, how are other typical non "Super" status Sikhs supposed to cope with a MINIMUM of 4?

Consequently, those of you who are in support of this edict: How many children do you have? I know that much of the demographics in Sikhsangat is younger youth who are most likely unmarried, so the reality of the situation is much different than the idealistic each Gursikh couple is making 10 children and they are all bana wearing, Gatka/Shartar Vidiya practicing Akhand Paathis who attend every single Gurmat program of every Jathebandi. Reality is much more difficult and different.

[TurbanGuyz]

well I would just say Instead of Giving some nice message or Trying to improve the situation of sikhs today..this Singh sahib has made a nice joke...

[Jonny101]

well I would just say Instead of Giving some nice message or Trying to improve the situation of sikhs today..this Singh sahib has made a nice joke...

It will be a nice joke on us when our people end up like the parsis in the future who cannot find the courage to improve their fertility rate despite the pleas of their leaders and even government incentives. For a minority having this western mindset of seeing kids as burden is suicidal. Improving the demographics is part of the solution not part of the problem.

And no one is saying 4 kids is a must. But surely 3 kids are manageable in India and in the west. I know plenty of families who have 3 kids, I even know of some who have four and they are managing just fine. Point of this advise is to encourage our people to help improve our demographic situation because our people are such a small minority, we are a mere drop in the demographic ocean.

In addition to improving fertility rate other measure can be taken to improve demographics like not doing female infanticide. In Punjab a very bad trend is that if your first born is a boy, then the parents do a full stop right there because they don't want to risk having a girl as a second child. Such Anti female child mentality should be discouraged because a child is a blessing from God to the parents whether it is a boy or girl. Parchar should also be done to make Sikhs more observant of Sikhi plus doing parchar to non Sikhs.

[InderjitS]

If family support is available and finances are not so tight, agree more kids the better. Ideally, one should get married straight after Uni and have kids within 3-5 years. This video is an eye opener and worrying if the figures shown are accurate: