Sad Tale To My Story

[Guest Saddened_hmanbeing]

Dear Sadh Sangat Ji,

I ended up in a situation, which I am quite disheartened and confused. I was dating a Sikh girl, for the past 6 months, and felt like she was someone right for me. Unfortunately, my parents didn't agree with the marriage, even though there was nothing wrong with the girl. My parents told me to try going to India, even though I didn't want to, my parents said, maybe you'll find someone right for you there, I agreed after my parents said that if you dont find anyone, you can marry the girl.

I went to India, they showed me 7 girls, all of them honesty I wasn't personally attracted to, nor did I feel like their coudl be any affection. While going to India, I realized it was a a very shady place, and honestly dont recommend any guys (USA, Canada,UK) to go, they are honestly after your passport. Finally, my parents said there is one girl, and basically my entire family pressured me into getting married with the girl. I ended up getting engaged, and am back now in the states. However, I am somewhat depressed, have gained weight, and feel very troubled now in life.

I beieve in God and the law of attraction, and not sure why this had happened, I find our parents emotionally blackmailed me to getting married to the wrong person. I have a humble request to everyone to not force their kids in getting married, and instead let them marry who they choose.

[Guest Marriage_Advisor]

I got married in India and there is nothing wrong in doing so but i do agree that in this kalyug world, many are only getting married because of "Abroad" status. If your parents insist of you getting married in India then you should take matter in your hand by saying, "Don't mention that we live abroad" etc. Whenever im in india, i never show/tell/mention that i am from abroad.

Now you are in this cross-border relationship mess, i would really suggest you to Talk to the girl often and see whether its workable. Sometime because of difference of culture takes time to get to know each other. Since your parents already rejected your first relationship idea then i don't think it is wise to get into that panga again as girl and her family already went thru trouble and probably does not want to repeat same.

You need to talk as soon as possible because later in your life you will be asking yourself a question a lot.. "Why didn't i made this matter simple by talking about it."

[ekgurjaskhalsa]

It is very sad that your parents are blackmailing you and forcing you to get married.

I would say Be Honest to the girl you are going to get married. Tell her what you feel. It is not her fault. If she is going to be your life partner, then she should know what kind of relationship she is getting into.

[Mann-Sahib]

To the guy that wrote this post..

I do not feel sorry for you, you should man up and stand up for what you want & believe. You have allowed yourself to be forced into this alliance with a girl from abroad so have no right to complain now. have you even spared a thought for the feelings of the girl you were dating?

If i were you I would break off this engagement with the girl in India and take some time out before you ruin her life too. No one deserves to be in a relationship where their partner is half hearted and really wants someone else!

Grow up mate!

[singh598]

You created your own downfall by going against the maryada. Its for this exact reason why sikhi is against girlfriend boyfriend yarreee. A lot of people in the world today are far more sorrowful than you so you should think about helping them rather than ego grunting. Develop love for whoever you are married to and be faithful.

[Questioner]

To the above:

1. Yes, dating is against maryada, nothing he can do about that now.

2. A Gursikh without compassion is not a pretty sight.

To the poster:

Please do not ruin your/ your partner's life by going into something you aren't happy with.

[Wicked Warrior]

If i were you I would break off this engagement with the girl in India and take some time out before you ruin her life too. No one deserves to be in a relationship where their partner is half hearted and really wants someone else!

Wholeheartedly believe in this. Don't ruin her life too. What happens if you divorce? Probably easier for you to remarry than her. Alternatively, it may be a miserable existence together. Or she might have been the perfect person but you never gave the relationship a chance.