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I Don't Want To Have Kids


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Okay.

I have been thinking about this for a while. I am at an age where my friends are getting married and I am thinking about my future in terms of married life. A little while to go and my parents will start pushing it! But for some time, I've been consciously thinking about how much I do not want to have children. What does Sikhism say regarding this? I know Guru Nanak Dev Ji said we should live among the world and part of that includes having kids and teaching them about Gurmat. What if I take the time out to teach other children Gurmat, at the Gurdwara perhaps? I am still teaching kids, but don't have to be burdening myself with my own.

I don't want to have kids just for the sake of having kids. I don't want to be pregnant, at all; I don't want to have a surrogate, and I don't want to adopt either. If it is going to make me unhappy, that mood will be reflected on any future family I will have, and no child deserves to be raised by a mother that doesn't want them in the first place. My mom called me selfish :( Says that if you don't live for kids, what are you living for? Can't I live my life for me? Why do I have to live for children that I don't even want.

Plus, who will realistically want to marry a girl that won't give them kids?

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Don't feel obligated to do something that you don't want to do. Family life is encouraged, but I've interpreted grist as living within society as opposed to asceticism. Having kids is no small thing, it's pretty much a life long obligation- it's not compulsory, women are not to be regarded as baby making machines. Focus on your Sikhi and do seva.

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You might not want to have children now, but I know from a lot of people I know who did not have children because they felt like you in the end regretted their decision. Children are a blessing, ask anyone who has them. They bring a whole new perspective to life. I have two kids and I wouldn't have it any other way. You appear to be still young and your views may be liable to change with time.

Is there anything in particular that is putting you off having kids? I would suggest that you think about what that is and then work to resolve that issue. What you don't want is to be a a 40 year old and then regret not having kids and then face the dilemma that having them at that age will put them at risk of various genetic disorders.

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Having/raising kids can take a selfish person out of their selfishness to do seva for another. So many people look after their kids without even thinking about it- how many people would go out of their way to do seva for another as much as they would for a child? Kids are born with an element of innocence, they bring light into the world (which granted, can dim if they fall into attachment.) but to raise them with the knowledge of Truth principles, your child could end up being a bramgyani. My parents took me to the gurdwarra occassionally when I was younger and I heard a few stories about the gurus-but that was enough to ignite a spark in me that made me want to know more, and so I learned on my own and then I started teaching them.

If a parent raises their child as best as they can-thats a great deed.

There are also do many orphan children who can be adopted and its a beautiful, beautiful thing to see when parents go for this option.

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Okay.

I have been thinking about this for a while. I am at an age where my friends are getting married and I am thinking about my future in terms of married life. A little while to go and my parents will start pushing it! But for some time, I've been consciously thinking about how much I do not want to have children. What does Sikhism say regarding this? I know Guru Nanak Dev Ji said we should live among the world and part of that includes having kids and teaching them about Gurmat. What if I take the time out to teach other children Gurmat, at the Gurdwara perhaps? I am still teaching kids, but don't have to be burdening myself with my own.

I don't want to have kids just for the sake of having kids. I don't want to be pregnant, at all; I don't want to have a surrogate, and I don't want to adopt either. If it is going to make me unhappy, that mood will be reflected on any future family I will have, and no child deserves to be raised by a mother that doesn't want them in the first place. My mom called me selfish :( Says that if you don't live for kids, what are you living for? Can't I live my life for me? Why do I have to live for children that I don't even want.

Plus, who will realistically want to marry a girl that won't give them kids?

Kid nobody can predict the future so just chill.

Concentrate on the present ie career.

In an arranged marriage you not only get a husband but in-laws as well.

They too help in bringing up kids so don't worry.

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Some of you seem to get what I'm saying, but others just don't get it! Responsibility?/ Why? Why do we have to bring more kids into this world when we don't feel equipped to care for them? I think if I do ever end up with kids, they won't be my own, but ones that need better homes than what they have. There is no point in every couple popping out a kid when there are already so many suffering out there.

"Womans dharma is to have a child she is the jananee of Kings"

NO thank you. This is making it seem like the only purpose a woman has is to have a child. Our Gurus themselves preached equality. If you are going to say that, then you have to address that a MAN"S dharma is to have a child as well. It's a team effort. Having children does not stop at birth. Once you have them, you are stuck with them. I don't want to take care of a child my whole life, and I definitely don't want to restrict my future to that. I'm sure I speak for other men, and especially women, as well. We are not restricted to making babies.

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Okay.

I have been thinking about this for a while. I am at an age where my friends are getting married and I am thinking about my future in terms of married life. A little while to go and my parents will start pushing it! But for some time, I've been consciously thinking about how much I do not want to have children. What does Sikhism say regarding this? I know Guru Nanak Dev Ji said we should live among the world and part of that includes having kids and teaching them about Gurmat. What if I take the time out to teach other children Gurmat, at the Gurdwara perhaps? I am still teaching kids, but don't have to be burdening myself with my own.

I don't want to have kids just for the sake of having kids. I don't want to be pregnant, at all; I don't want to have a surrogate, and I don't want to adopt either. If it is going to make me unhappy, that mood will be reflected on any future family I will have, and no child deserves to be raised by a mother that doesn't want them in the first place. My mom called me selfish :( Says that if you don't live for kids, what are you living for? Can't I live my life for me? Why do I have to live for children that I don't even want.

Plus, who will realistically want to marry a girl that won't give them kids?

Who does? All the whinging and crying.

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Seems like you have already made up your mind for now to not have kids. You just want other people to assure you that your decision is right.

Do what you want for now but things and decisions change over time. Life is very unpredictable. You never know what Guruji has planned for you. You might or might not change your decision later in life.

You might not want the responsibility of raising children when you are young, but you might feel the need of having loved ones when you get old.

Please, be honest with your life partner before getting into the relationship. Yes, it will be hard for you to find someone who doesn't want kids, but who knows? You could find an ideal life partner if you look hard enough.

My personal feelings about Kids:

Kids are blessings and being a mother completes you. It gives new meaning to your life. It adds one more reason to live. :-)

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