I Don't Want To Have Kids

[Jonny101]

Generally marriage union should happen. I have heard of many people do decide not to marry and the result they go under the control of Kaam when in a testing situation. This has happened to many Bihangams who end up committing a kurahit. One poster here gave an example of Baba Harnam Singh Rampurkhera, but they forget that Baba Jee was not an ordinary Sikh. He was a Sikh of very highest spiritual avastha. Such Saints are the true servants of God and have full control over kaam because they spend most of their day in Naam Simran and immerse themselves in Gurbani. If you are that type of person, then by all means go ahead and become a celibate. But if you know that the condition of your spiritual state is not of that high caliber then it is wiser to get into a Grahisti Jeevan.

As N30 Singh Jee mentioned, there are two extremes in this world. One is the types that treat women like crap or sub human like the extremist Muslims but then the other extreme is the western feminist who is anti family and hate children. Both of these extremes are incompatible with Sikhi. Sikhi has it's own tradition based on how a family should be.

[Questioner]

it's funny how I seem to get members messaging me and telling me they like my views and complain about others

Sounds like some people are doing a sneaky bit of nindiya. :nono:

[simran345]

No i wouldn't call it nindya, i would say i. shows people like me and they trust me, whereas others are tryin to put me down for my input . Its because they know i would not disclose anything private that has been discussed that we dont want outhole world to know about our personal lives and vice versa.

I am happy for the compliments i have received, thankuji to those who have given them, bhenjis pajis u know who you are.

And thanku to them for supporting me, but i only view my own opinions, without the nakli sincerity.

I say it as it is. Ive had plenty of mehne too, but that's ok as things can be interpreted on internet differently.

Just as long as one is happy that's all that matters. Te tusi v mere quotes copy paste krna hatjao, koi superstar ni main, jere ik ik line nudtngaiyi vich khoji jande. Manu pata ni lagda ki keha main Questionairre ji, twada baut dhanwaad ji manu us platform te liaon da, khush reho ji.

Johnnys advise is exactly what i been tryin to get across, but maybe i dont know how to write it, this is exactly what my feelings are, thanku Johnny ji for that.

[Guest !]

Johnny, your post is the best advice ... A different perception

[BarinderSingh]

The original poster can be explained in two words. Commitment issues. This is very common among the youth today. Biggest concern employers have today is the ability of new young employers to actually commit to a job. Also this is prevalent in other parts of life like divorce rates. No one stands by their word these days. Key words from this posters post really stick out to show how deeply she is facing commitment issues.

Her example of parents wanting her to live freely.

Twisting Sikhi To say sikhi is about having free will...

Then says mindlessly agreeing to marrying someone and not being able to handle the lifestyle.

Look at what she wants to do. Raise money to teach kids in other countries. Short term job and if she does not like it then she can easily escape. No strings attached.

If you want to talk about Sikhi then read Bachittar Natak. It is the biography of Guru Gobind Singh Sahib ji written by him. Guru Gobind Singh ji did not say me me me me me 1600 times. He said tuhi tuhi tuhi 1600 times. Meaning I live for you Vaheguru.....give me my choice...which Guru Sahib explains what direction he was given.

Read Bachittar Natak and let everyone know where this free choice making part exist. Guru Sahib was told what to do and did not make a choice.

Gurmukhs who did not marry understood at an early age what it means to live in service to akal purakh. They have done deep contemplations of Gurbani.

Dont give me examples of Bhagat Puran ji because he carried a kid on his back till his last breath. He committed. He didn't make a choice. He picked up what Guru Sahib put before him and did not doubt it.

[N30S1NGH]

This profound short commentary may help op's perspective as it indicates lifestyle of gurmukh maya vich udasi(de-attached),

'affectionate detachment'

There will be marriage, there will be children, there will be earning money to maintain a family; all this will happen in the natural course of events, for destiny must fulfil itself; you will go through it without resistance, facing tasks as they come, attentive and thorough, both in small things and big.

But the general attitude will be of affectionate detachment, enormous goodwill, without expectation of return, constant giving without asking.

In marriage you are neither the husband nor the wife (or mother); you are the love* between the two.

You are the clarity and kindness that makes everything orderly and happy.

*Love here indicates unconditional love sprouting out sponteounsly naturally after slowly start being consumed by gurbani/ vahiguroo itself.

[TurbanGuyz]

No I haven't disrespected her in any way. It's ur problem u can't understand what I have written and misinterpreted it.

All I said was do what she wants to if it makes her happy. Haven't u read my points about seva? Stop trying to cause trouble by picking out grammatical errors. But if u also read her first post and last post it is confusing, as I can't understand why she is asking if her parents don't have a problem with it, which is totally different from how the first post is portrayed.

Read it then u will see the confusion, and where did I say she is a bad person.

People sometimes like to create problems that don't exist, and that's what u have done. How dare u say that? No she has showed confusion to me and that's my opinion. I said nothing wrong to her, so I will not say sorry for something u have created. B Singh.

And as far as respect goes I am not asking it from u. I could also say u disrespected me. I think u are trying to create anger and frustration on this site thus a new account u come on here, but u know what I don't care, coz only God can judge me, not some trouble maker on the internet. So think what u like when u don't even know me.

God is not only watching me, but u too, for twisting my personal opinions into something which they are not, there wasn't even the need for u to comment on my views, maybe u are jealous that I have an opinion.

Humiliation would have been if I swore at her, or said bad things, or said she was a bad person, I did nothing of the sort. But thanks for being the judge.

If ur an existing member that's made a new account, I'd rather u message me and we can clear up any misunderstandings, instead of hiding in a new account, and bullying me. if I was humiliating anybody, it's funny how I seem to get members messaging me and telling me they like my views and complain about others, maybe coz they know I am not here to cause trouble but try to help when I can.

Maybe sometimes my advice don't make sense, but that could be due to my brain damage.

So if anybody has any issues with message me then if I feel I am wrong I will apologise to them regarding which issue. Which a lot of u know by now where I am wrong I always say sorry, if I honestly think I wrote nothing wrong, no need to say it.

i also felt O.P got double standards or she is confused with herself or she is double minded...oh kende hunde a na aajkal sikhi hi nabouni a....a de dinde char panj lakh rupya gurdwaraya nu... a kesh rakhn di ki lodh a. a sir dhakan ki lordh a. a amrit di ki lordh a....... bas ohi haal is bibi da va ki nayaane jaman di ki lordh a...

[TurbanGuyz]

Manu jada kush ta kehna nai aunda sister par ehna khunga....yeh khud tusi kid nai chounde ta koi gal nai but adopt kar lyo.....yeh hun har SIkh bibi inj sochan lag pyi fe ta sikhi tar gyi agle 10 saala ch...

thavada apna dil kade nai sochda..ki tusi b is sikhi de boote nu agge wadaao......? fe kyu meri meri??

[N30S1NGH]

That last line would be heard by an uncivilised and immoral person who has had bad parenting and has not learnt discipline and not gained wisdom. It's not a line Guru Gobind Singh Jee's Sahibzadey, i.e. his children, would ever use. We are supposed to be representing Guru Nanak Dev Jee, that means in mind, body, speech and action. All this should be pure. The way we talk to another should be with perfect manners. Japanese people don't even need to be Sikhs to know how to talk to another, they know better. What is the point of the existence of Gurbani if we have learnt nothing from it and are not taking any lessons from it?

We all gargle cups of gurbani-medicine day and night but hardly anyone adapt one owns nature virtues gurbani talks about sat-truth -honesty/sincerity- santokh, dya, dharam, prem, gyan, biraag, advait, sam dristhi and let gurbani go deeply, penetrate inside when we read gurbani and let gurbani consume the seeker. It's like us want to full fill some dogmatic notions so we can feel better about our selves-false sense of security, try to control others -while coping out overall gurmat message, than really genuinely change ourselves according to gurmat and gurbani.

[simran345]

Why can't people reply to topics without personal attacks and name calling?