Girls Views On Guys With Turbans

[VeerSingh87]

People

My first post here and i'm on a fact finding mission.

What are ladies views on guys who tie turbans? Specifically turban and trimmed beards.

My agenda? Well i've been searching for a partner for a full year i'd say getting off the ground just seems impossible. This isn't a "dating is against our rehat" type situation, your opinion is valid but not relevant.

Am I just thinking of my pug as an excuse? I think i'm ok looking, doing well at work, in shape, pretty decent in nature.

I'm in the UK and just want to understand what sikh girls are thinking? Is it the not fitting in, being different?

[TurbanGuys]

well I don't know about others but this post is really nice and interesting.....anyways can I ask are u baptised or non baptised? bcz it does matter while choosing life partners

[californiasardar1]

People

My first post here and i'm on a fact finding mission.

What are ladies views on guys who tie turbans? Specifically turban and trimmed beards.

My agenda? Well i've been searching for a partner for a full year i'd say getting off the ground just seems impossible. This isn't a "dating is against our rehat" type situation, your opinion is valid but not relevant.

Am I just thinking of my pug as an excuse? I think i'm ok looking, doing well at work, in shape, pretty decent in nature.

I'm in the UK and just want to understand what sikh girls are thinking? Is it the not fitting in, being different?

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

[VeerSingh87]

well I don't know about others but this post is really nice and interesting.....anyways can I ask are u baptised or non baptised? bcz it does matter while choosing life partners

Hey, thanks for your reply, non baptised, so fair to say i'm half of nothing if i'm honest, but we can all only do so much.

Totally agree, that's really my problem, I look like something but I am not committed to it so i'm giving mixed signals in both directions

[VeerSingh87]

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

Spot on, tough to hear but you have summarised it, the hypocrites bit especially.

Well i will keep trying, pretty sucessful on all fronts but it does feel like there's a big part of life missing.

[TurbanGuys]

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

[TurbanGuys]

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

so after being cutsurd do you want to say ..you start getting girls?lol

[californiasardar1]

Spot on, tough to hear but you have summarised it, the hypocrites bit especially.

Well i will keep trying, pretty sucessful on all fronts but it does feel like there's a big part of life missing.

So I am wondering: you are a trimmer but still having problems? How long is your beard? What kind of turban do you wear?

[Jonny101]

I think these love marriages are over rated. 50% of them end up in divorce anyway. All this bollywood luv shuv stuff finishes eventually once reality kicks in, then you have a nagging wife, dealing with her family, she having to deal with her own dreaded mother in law. Then you fall out of love.

Ghar ki Geehan Changi, jan Dhanna Levai Mangi

Meri Gall mann, find a decent homely Sikh girl to marry in a traditional arranged marriage who will be a good wife and mother to your children and you also be a loving husband to her. Make Sikhi the center stage of your married life, find happiness in Sikhi rather than this fake Bollywood lifestyle. You are lucky you be born a Sikh. Utilize this life for Bhagti and Seva of Guru Panth

[warris]

California Sardar: you mentioned you cut your hair a few weeks ago. Now that you have cut your hair, have the girls just popped out of nowhere? Have your problems with women suddenly vanished? I hate to be so direct, but your I have read your posts that they just ooze with low self esteem.

The problem is not the TURBAN. There are plenty of guys with turbans who have attractive wives be it in India or a Western country. If the women were so uninterested in the turban would there be millions of sardars with wives? Don't you ever see a Sardar with a wife in a western country? Are all sardar boys incels or lonely 40 year olds? Come on man, wake up.

And for the record there are plenty of guys without turbans from communities all over the world who have trouble finding the right girl or even a girl. Its almost always an issue with the guy's self image or the way he approaches women rather than external factors (race/turban/bald/fat etc.)

BTW, all my cousins in India and the US have turbans. And every single one is married. They are all in their 20s and 30s. I don't see what the problem is.