Jump to content

Girls Views On Guys With Turbans


VeerSingh87
 Share

Recommended Posts

People

My first post here and i'm on a fact finding mission.

What are ladies views on guys who tie turbans? Specifically turban and trimmed beards.

My agenda? Well i've been searching for a partner for a full year i'd say getting off the ground just seems impossible. This isn't a "dating is against our rehat" type situation, your opinion is valid but not relevant.

Am I just thinking of my pug as an excuse? I think i'm ok looking, doing well at work, in shape, pretty decent in nature.

I'm in the UK and just want to understand what sikh girls are thinking? Is it the not fitting in, being different?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People

My first post here and i'm on a fact finding mission.

What are ladies views on guys who tie turbans? Specifically turban and trimmed beards.

My agenda? Well i've been searching for a partner for a full year i'd say getting off the ground just seems impossible. This isn't a "dating is against our rehat" type situation, your opinion is valid but not relevant.

Am I just thinking of my pug as an excuse? I think i'm ok looking, doing well at work, in shape, pretty decent in nature.

I'm in the UK and just want to understand what sikh girls are thinking? Is it the not fitting in, being different?

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well I don't know about others but this post is really nice and interesting.....anyways can I ask are u baptised or non baptised? bcz it does matter while choosing life partners

Hey, thanks for your reply, non baptised, so fair to say i'm half of nothing if i'm honest, but we can all only do so much.

Totally agree, that's really my problem, I look like something but I am not committed to it so i'm giving mixed signals in both directions

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

Spot on, tough to hear but you have summarised it, the hypocrites bit especially.

Well i will keep trying, pretty sucessful on all fronts but it does feel like there's a big part of life missing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Veer ji,

I encountered the same problems as you (although my beard was untrimmed).

It was extremely difficult to "get off the ground," as you put it.

My search was mainly online. Hardly any girls were open to even talking.

Among the 1% of girls who did give it a go, they almost all seemed rather disinterested right from the beginning. It was clear that they weren't really looking for a guy with a turban, and talking to one involved them stepping out of their comfort zone.

At first, I thought perhaps I didn't have enough personality and wasn't engaging enough. But I've never come off this way in "real life" among friends. And after taking a step back and looking at the situation, there wasn't much I could even do. Girls who had "agreed" to talk to me could hardly be bothered to arrange a proper first conversation or date. It's hard to get anywhere when you're not taken seriously before you even have much of a chance to present yourself.

Unless you are the exception to the rule, your options are limited to the following:

1. Accept a proper gursikh amritdhari lifestyle and come to terms with the idea of getting an arranged marriage to a gursikh girl. You will likely have to be open to girls from India.

2. Go to India. Girls there generally hate turbans too, but there are still enough girls desperate enough to leave India that you can use your NRI status as a bargaining chip.

3. If you are unwilling to accept a gursikh lifestyle and unwilling to go to India, you are between a rock and a hard place.

Attempting to "date" will lead to lots of frustration.

The only girls who want turbanned men are amritdhari and probably not the type who want to "date" and have a standard western-style courtship that many of us grow up expecting. They most likely want a proper gursikh arranged marriage.

So you will be left with a bunch of girls who, all else being equal, would prefer a clean-shaven man. You will still have a chance, but you will have to really stand out in order to be considered over the plethora of clean-shaven "sikh" men. If you are not a superstar, you will most likely be left with girls who are considered undesirable by most men (for whatever reason), and are only talking to you because they can't "do better"

Many will post in this thread and dispute what I have to say, but it is the cold, honest truth. You have to take a long, hard look at where you are as a Sikh. The problem men like me have is that we are hypocrites who want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to be who we are, but are unwilling to adopt a completely gursikh outlook and get an arranged marriage. We are too caught up in the notion of dating and finding a girl who "likes" us and can't let that go.

so after being cutsurd do you want to say ..you start getting girls?lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

California Sardar: you mentioned you cut your hair a few weeks ago. Now that you have cut your hair, have the girls just popped out of nowhere? Have your problems with women suddenly vanished? I hate to be so direct, but your I have read your posts that they just ooze with low self esteem.

The problem is not the TURBAN. There are plenty of guys with turbans who have attractive wives be it in India or a Western country. If the women were so uninterested in the turban would there be millions of sardars with wives? Don't you ever see a Sardar with a wife in a western country? Are all sardar boys incels or lonely 40 year olds? Come on man, wake up.

And for the record there are plenty of guys without turbans from communities all over the world who have trouble finding the right girl or even a girl. Its almost always an issue with the guy's self image or the way he approaches women rather than external factors (race/turban/bald/fat etc.)

BTW, all my cousins in India and the US have turbans. And every single one is married. They are all in their 20s and 30s. I don't see what the problem is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use