Girls Views On Guys With Turbans

[Mehtab Singh]

If a girl doesn't want to know you because of the way you look, why change your appearance for her? What if she starts to dislike your taste in clothes? Music? Food? Will you change all that? Or will you learn to love and appreciate yourself for the person you are? If you can do that first, then the rest will all follow.

And as for Sikh/Indian women, if they don't fancy you then big deal. There is a big, wide world out there and it's filled with plenty of women that will find your appearance attractive. I've got a Turban and beard, though it didn't get me anywhere with Sikh girls in my younger days (am happily married now), I had no problems with White girls at all. They saw past the exterior and noticed how I was as a person and that is what they responded to. THAT'S what is most important.

Take care.

I think many (if not all) of us Amritdhari Singhs have actually received more attention, respect and acceptance from non-Sikh , non-Punjabi and non-Indian Bibis during our youth. So its not about your appearance, its your confidence in yourself and your beliefs that makes you attractive!

[Mehtab Singh]

This has sparked quite an interesting debate - I find it sad if cases where a Singh decides to cut his Kes and remove his Dastar just to get married and fit the 'ideal' of what girls are looking for. I personally do not have an issue with a Dastar and untrimmed beard but that's because I've been brought up in Sikhi and understand the importance of maintaining such things. I think in some cases where girls wish for a clean-shaven look is when they perhaps haven't been brought up around Sikhi and therefore don't have it as a preference in terms of looking for a partner. Equally I'm not passing judgements (each to their own) but I've seen cases where Amritdhari Singhs or Singh's with uncut Kes and beard are married to girls who cut their hair and don't particularly follow Sikhi so I definitely think it happens both ways. I am saddened that the whole Hollywood / Bollywood falling in love has taken over the idea of what marriage is as opposed to finding a spiritual partner to help you become at one with God.

I guess where to look is to for you to consider what you really want from marriage and what you're looking for if it's just for dating maybe it's more harder to find someone but if it's for the long run and it is a life partner you want maybe as suggested use Gursikhi matrimonial sites or approach any Gurudwara that might have matrimonial services. But I don't think you should compromise your faith we're lucky to be born into Sikhi so it's a shame if people want to forget that for the sake of marriage.

So then it possibly comes down to what is the priority of the girl/boy. If its Sikhi, then they will be very straightforward in who/what they want. If its the Bollywood/Hollywood sort of lifestyle they want to live, then they can choose anyone.

[Jonny101]

I think many (if not all) of us Amritdhari Singhs have actually received more attention, respect and acceptance from non-Sikh , non-Punjabi and non-Indian Bibis during our youth. So its not about your appearance, its your confidence in yourself and your beliefs that makes you attractive!

A few years ago I knew this one Singh who was into having girl friends. He had a Christian Indian girl friend from Goa at the same time he also had a Hindu Punjabi girl friend. Later he left them for a Pak Punjabi girl friend. All three were very sincere and even wanted to marry him. But he was just fooling around with them. Although his father was a mona but he had a very Gursikh type attitude, for example he did not like his son doing this to the girls and wanted his son to be a Rehitvaan Gursikh.

It seems it is only Punjabi Sikh girls who have this strange thing about Sikh appearance. Within India too, I have noticed that Sikh men who have settled in other states like in Bengal or in South India have married local women.

[JessieKaur]

Really interesting topic! Personally I think beards and turbans are awesome on sikh guys it shows discipline, strength of character and love for guru ji! I'm not married but I feel that anyone who changes themselves just to be in a relationship is just asking for trouble.

Part of the problem maybe the girls you are expecting, sikh girls that aren't really into sikhi are obviously less likely to go for a keshdhari guy, the same way I can guarantee a clean shaven guy or even a guy that keeps a turban but shaves would not like to marry or even 'date' a keshdhari girl. So it's all well and good saying I have a turban and can't find a girl, imagine how difficult it is or a keshdhari girl (wearing a dastar or not) to find a partner when even other keshdhari guys are like oh my god leg hair!!! Oh my god eyebrows that aren't perfectly stick thin! What evolution gave you armpit hair as well?! :I

Many guys want to follow sikhi but aren't always willing to accept a woman doing the same thing, and for those of you who are open minded enough to marry a keshdhari girl, thank god I have hope for the future! But that's a different issue, mini rant over!

The girls that tend to be interested in sikhi and accepting of guys that keep kesh are less likely to date (or at least wait until they actually want to get married to date) so that might contribute as well.

As for this whole have a turban and date outside of sikhi, it is completely a personal thing who you choose to marry but if you love sikhi and would like to take Amrit or work to advance in Sikhi I feel like it may end up being more challenging if you are married to some who is unaware or not following in some way themselves, I know sikh couples where only one is amritdhari or into sikhi even that can get complicated, especially when it comes to how children should be raised (particularly wether or not to cut their children's hair or bring them up vegetarian etc) so be aware of that and don't end up being blindsided.

Don't forget that whole one soul two bodies shabad as well (if you can find the actual shabad feel free to post) marriage isn't just marriage in sikh it's an anand karaj, it's about working together to reach waheguru, I think finding someone at a similar spiritual stage is more important and for keshdhari guys it is likely to be other keshdhari girls or at least girls with some interest in Sikhi, which once again means they are less likely to date in the traditional sense.

I agree with other posters arranged marriages are just simpler for those that can't find someone themselves but want to stay in Sikhi, arranged marriages today tend to be more like western setting people up any way! Someone says oh you'd be really good together and try's to arrange something rather than: I like your son, you like my daughter they will be married and live happily ever after and have a big Indian wedding with a load of people they don't actually know....

This is my first post, sorry it turned into a bit of a rant... People bring up this issue a lot and forget the flip side of girls that are keshdhari and have the same problem! I'm keshdhari which by default in our community means I would probably only find a keshdhari guy as they are the only ones willing to accept me (but that's ok as I'll only marry a keshdhari guy, mainly cause I wouldn't want to have an awkward conversation about the fact that I would want to bring up my children in Sikhi and not cut their hair), how would you of reacted to post saying opinion of guys on girls that keep their hair or only remove certain areas? I'm not sure many people would know what to say. And when I have seen this bought up its 'don't worry you will find someone stay stong in your Sikhi bhenji' not you'll have better luck if your more confident or look outside of sikhi. (Again sorry for the ranting ) either way, omg Iwhy are all guys obsessed with finding a girl, if you stop looking so hard and just be nice they'll find you! girls are always talking about how they can't find a guy that is nice and confident, and you also need to disprove that horrible line: there's no guarantee he's nice just cause he has a turban and beard', beat the bad press guys some off us are waiting for our Singhs and sardars and not mr Bollywood or Prince Charming! But I'm sure waheguru has it all figured out anyway!

[Mehtab Singh]

This is my first post

Sixer on the first ball! :respect:

Very good points, yes some guys can be somewhat hypocrites when the tables are turned, i.e. when they are put in a position to respond to a Bibi who may have excessive facial hair. There is a saying "ਹਰ ਸਰਦਾਰ ਨੂ ਕੁੜੀ ਤਾਂ ਮਿਲ ਜਾਂਦੀ ਹੈ, ਪਰ ਹਰ ਕੁੜੀ ਨੂ ਸਰਦਾਰ ਨਹੀਂ ਮਿਲਦਾ", which clarifies the fact that it is probably harder for Bibiyaan to find a Singh who would accept them for the way they look.

But there are enough Singhs out there who wouldn't care about appearance, and would actually decide based upon the Bibi's jeevan.

[ms514]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

And then this happens... :omg:

So a comment on this topic: This is a Sikh forum, so apologies in advance for any views that may hurt sentiments to the readers.

Only read below this line if you can stomach a little harshness. Hath Jhor Benti.
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Do you really want to be a Sikh? I mean really - sit down and do some inner contemplation. Read some history, read Gurbani and decide. Most of the time it's this:

...that leads to the "Sikh or no?" posts. In fact, this is the common problem that leads to this very thought process.

There is a lot of depth in Sikhi. One aspect of Sikhi is a passionate and deep faith. A Sikh will leave it to the Guru to take care of his/her affairs. The Guru WILL arrange "Santa(n) Kae Kaaraj Aap Khaloia, Har Kam Karavan Aaya Raam" - it is not a coincidence that this was the FIRST EVER Hukamnama from Aadh Sri Granth Sahib Ji (written this way as the Gurgaddhi was not transferred to it until Dasam Patshah - and yet, the SHABAD GURU was always the Guru, it was merely changing of the bodies that was occuring). If Guru Sahib can turn (and as history tells literally) sparrows into hawk killers and have (again, literally, as was demonstrated in Chamkaur Sahib) have one Sikh fight a quarter of a million, SURELY HE CAN FIND YOU A SIKH HUSBAND OR WIFE????

Again, this applies to Gursikhs. Read Gurbani, read history, read the Rehat Maryada to define what a Sikh is. If you want the blessings of the Guru, that is the way to get them. Otherwise, all this stuff about cutting hair, short beards and the like - it is not Sikhi.

All of us sell ourselves WAY too short in what we truly are, where we come from, what our forefathers were and what we should aspire to.

Of course, you think it's over at marriage, but then your backstabbing kids do stuff like this:

And even sadder is when you see this when others realize what Sikhi is:

(Yes, the above is "fictional", but based in reality, as incidents like this happen).

Sorry for the capital letters - they were added with the intent of emphasis (maybe I am too passionate or something).

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Message to all Sikhs, take this film as a warning - applies to men and women:

And dating? The whole bit about considering women as sisters, mothers and daughters and men as fathers, brothers and sons...must have missed that lesson.

Sorry for the bitter tone of some words - truth is like that sometimes.

[Mehtab Singh]

BOLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NIHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT
SRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
AKAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[SSD]

It really depends on why your going out, my recommendation would be: if this is just for you having fun, it's not the right ideal. Dating to find a real life partner would be more acceptable.

It really depends on why your going out, my recommendation would be: if this is just for you having fun, it's not the right ideal. Dating to find a real life partner would be more acceptable.

[manvimattu]

Can't Find a Punjabi Girls there other girls who will respect you better. They will convert into Sikhism even better as your are.

[SSD]

Can't Find a Punjabi Girls there other girls who will respect you better. They will convert into Sikhism even better as your are.

Why does everyone always assume the Non-Sikh will convert? It's not even a healthy idea to share to the kids, also are the converting so they can lust you or because they truly love the Guru? A few generations ago, the same happened to my physical ancestors: they mostly converting to Sikhi out of some false idea of romance( this was before the partition so romance hadn't yet been popular). If they truly believe Sikhi is the better religion than by all means go ahead and join it, but Guru Sahib knows whether its just a show or if it is sincere. More to focus on the showing off part, some people previously took amrit just so they could join the Misls: not because they love Guru Sahib or because they felt the spiritual need for. Personally, I'd say the more Sikhs the better, but are the Gur-Ka Sikhs or Man-Ka Sikhs. They could still have a secular wedding, (which I believe is better than an Andaj Karaj with 2 people who pretend to be Sikhs, but don't follow any of the Gurus teachings), its still considered a marriage in my eyes.