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I Have Messed Up My Life Very Bad. I Am Mentally Weird.

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Hello everybody, I did ardas yesterday after Kirtan Sohila and I got up at amrit vela. I did simran and Japji Sahib. I am going to keep going and hopefully I will keep on increasing what I do. I have

When you feel down, tie a dumala, look at yourself in the mirror, and while punching your fist in the air ROAR the Jakaara... JO GAJJ KE JAKAARA GAJAAVE NIHAAL HO JAAVE FATEH PAAVE KALGIDHAR DE MANN

Dear SinghGS, first of all, because just as Dhan Dhan Sree Guru Ram Das Maharaj , says : gur satgur kaa jo sikh akhaa-ay so bhalkay uth har naam Dhi-aavai. One who calls himself a Sikh of the Guru,

And the second option is, break and throw away all the cds, dvds, PC or the laptop even, so that the means for doing bad karma is thrown away....

Something like that happened with me, and I threw away all the bad stuff, since then I became lighter.

If you want your house to be clean and smell good, first of all throw all the waste, (which causes bad odour, or foul smell) out of your house, then put some flowers(cultivate the virtue of His Simran), and you will see in due time, how all your house(self) starts (smelling) feeling good...

I agree veer ji, its like they say, what you think/whats in your mind has an affect on your actions so why can't our actions have an affect on our mind....

Having a clean environment really does help, i.e. when I use to have exams, the first thing I use to do was clean my room so I felt relaxed and fresh!

So SinghGS veer ji, I really think you should do an Ardas and just chuck all this trouble and pain out your life, like I've suggested before if you have to use your PC for work reasons put safety locks on there, like they have in schools so you can't access the stuff !

Also, this is a 50-50 possibility action, if you really can't control yourself, just do it, look at everything you want to and then because you've experienced that amrit vela, that blissful peace and the kirpa of guru ji, you'll yourself realise that actually its not worth it - it'll feel like a waste of time....

I've tried this, for example when I keep thinking about the same thing again and again, my head eventually starts hurting, I then begin telling myself that i'm not going to think about it but typically the mind will begin thinking about it even more, at the end i'll just give up and think about it as much as I can.... soon my mind realises its not worth it and I stop thinking about it


I hope this didn't confuse you! I keep reading it myself and getting confused .. I think I keep thinking about it for no reason ;) LOL

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Guest ravinder gill


I need help. I am a bad sikh. I don't work at the moment. I am on employment and support allowance which is for people who are unfit for work. I am claiming this at the moment for my mental health problem. I am only volunteering a couple of days a week. If I am honest, I don't want to work. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am apparently sad and weird which I believe is true. I sit at home and read stuff on the internet about religion and don't do anything productive. I find life hard. I am lazy. I can't face my problems like a man. I avoid being responsible. I wish I was one of the winners in life who everybody loved but it feels like people want to stay away from me. I don't talk much. I feel down and negative and angry. I am a coward. I used to walk with my head down. I now have been keeping it up. I had a good start in life, I think. I had alot going for me like I went to grammar school, then I got into Birmingham University to do computer science, but I couldn't handle it so I took a year out. I then worked at HSBC but didn't like it. I stayed there until I was going to begin Business computing and IT at Aston University. I don't think many people liked me at HSBC. I went to Aston and my four year course took me six years. It included a placement year which I messed up. I was running out of time to get a placement and a friend of mine who was my age was beginning a business. He helped me out and gave me an unpaid placement. It was a poor placement. I did the final year of university and left with a lower second. I am 30 years old. I finished university in 2009. I did some internships, voluntary work, then some paid warehouse work and now I am volunteering again. I think my personality is not strong. I am not proud of myself of the 'sikh' I am. I feel hopeless. I can't man up. I took amrit when I was 20 but I did not stick to rehat. I did read bani and study at university, etc but was not firm in rehat, i.e amrit vela. I even did kurehats of eating meat and trimming my beard. I now keep my beard and am vegetarian since ages. I read Japji Sahib after I wake up which is at 8am, and I read rehiras and do sohila before bed. However I am a lustful person who looks at bad stuff on the internet. But less than before. Today I felt so crap. I think I get angry when I have to do some work. It just seems so hard. I did ardas recently. I tried from the bottom of my heart to ask for the right things, just what it says in ardas and to keep me from the five evils. I also said to waheguru to bless me so that I always thirst for his darshan. I read at a gurdwara that Guru Ji encourages us to make this plea to waheguru so I try to do it from the bottom of my heart whenever I do ardas. I am a dull loser. I feel like I've been lost since I was young. I have no vision or dream. Can't see the positive side of life, or the good in life. I hate myself. I have a rubbish personality. I'm mentally weird. I want to look at bad stuff late into the night. What was the point of me? I am ashamed of whatever I am. Can anyone help?

brother, i think you have depression or some sort of social behavioral problem

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the real world isnt real- it is a world created from thoughts and our hearts. Talk to someone if u think it will help- Practice Truth- it is the gretest cure for a sick mind. n dont forget that the world thinks <banned word filter activated>*y thoughts, thats why its Kalyug. Every time someone kills, attacks, rapes, steals etc, it begins with a thought.

Thats why its so important to kill the mind and just Be and accept hukam, to practice Truth, work, do good deeds, work etc.

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  • 3 weeks later...


I am just thinking. When we do paath without concentration what is thebenefit? I mean how does it help? Also how can one defeat the 5 chor, from a beginner level. I have to say whether I like it or not that I am not succeeding. I do find it hard to keep rehat. How can I succeed, i.e merge with God? Thank you for your replies.

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Concentrateing while reading bani is important if you want the full benefits. I suggest you look at YouTube at rajkaregakhalsa videos of bani. There is translation which you can read along with each tuk. Helps with concentration. Also do simran with each breath!

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See all men n women except your spouse/ someone who is completely your type and is a potential spouse, as your brothers and sisters, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters etc.

Always speak the truth, when u feel jelousy, ego, lust attachments, selfish pride, gossip, greed, slander come up, disown it as belonging to Maya/the devil- not you.

These qualities are devilish n when u have them, you are living a psychology attached to the lower realms hell psychology. They are All products of Fear and Insecurity.

So ask yourself if u wanna be an insecure loser(like the Devil himself) living in fear/(with 5 theives) or a Divine Confident Vessel of God- living your true nature merged with Him.

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  • 1 month later...

Thanks a lot for your replies everyone. I haven't talked for a while. What I overheard when volunteering at the Nishkam Centre is that anything that stops us from doing what we are here to do is maya. I have thought about this and one thing I keep in mind now is something a friend once told me - put God first. I am so grateful for the time you each have given me to help me. I did become lost in Maya.

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If you have been assessed to have a mental health issue which keeps you from working then I think you need to pursue a mental health expert to work through it, there is alot of help around. There are mental health charities, you can find someone to talk to be it a professional, who can be categorised by various titles such as a psychiatrist or someone else, but there are people with various mental health issues working, they focus on their abilities rather than disabilities.

I don't think watching lustful things and night makes you mental, as for wanting to do something and being angry and not doing it, it could be a part of the mental ailment and there are work around if that is the case, if it isn't then I think you need to work on baby steps, crawl before you think about running, start with the things you like to do rather then the ones you find hard, start at home first. You can also volunteer there are local initiatives which provide you legitimate references on your cv, some of the people in various groups have met similar individuals and they do have success stories which are rarely heard and a way into the job market if you search on https://do-it.org/%C2'>

There are organisations the Jobcentre can refer you to who help with mentally ill, disabled and special needs people get into some work, even part time (which allows you to still get your allowances) so you can have some extra cash which can help with groceries, clothes and other things to build yourself up.

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Singh GS, selfless Seva is Divine. Keep doing your seva, but also try your best to get a job aswell. earning an honest living will help your Bhagti.

Don't worry about rejection, I have been rejected loads of times, rejection is there to be experienced but don't let it phase u or let it undermine ur self worth because u are Satnaam ji and He is u, u just have to realise it. Just keep trying until with His Grace, you find a job. I believe u said u have a degree- u earned it with hard work, so use it. The Bhagti path requires effort and resolve for us to rise above the stagnant maya.

Do not be nervous, do not be fearful, have no fear because fear isn't real. Just put God/Truth first and do His seva here on earth while u have the chance, don't waste ur precious janam on deeming yourself too mentally ill to live and serve. Do amrit vela, get stronger and better.

The entire world lives in fear and the 5 thieves- the entire world is mentally ill and needs to practice Truth. Realise this and u would already have risen to an extent above their filth. When I associated with nindaks, drug users, and generally sinners, I was caught up in Maya because mental illness and a mentally ill psychology spreads.

When I stopped associating with them especially by thought, and practicing Truth, I got better and began to see the reality around me. apply Gurbani to your daily life, practice Truth and become Gurbani.

God Bless you

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