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Deeply Depressed


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Guest Depressed

I was in a relationship with somebody for a very long time and I thought I was going to marry him. But he broke up with me a few months ago and ever since then I have been in deep depression. He was abusive throughout the relationship which is why I should take this as a blessing but I don't know why I cannot move on from this. I've tried to do path and read bani I recite Jap Ji sahib every morning and whenever I think about it I start doing chaupai sahib but I feel like I'm just spiraling downwards with nobody to ask for advice from. I have friends but none of them are Sikh and they provide the non-Sikh perspective to this but I just wanted the Sikh perspective and what I should do to spiral out of this depression and accept everything as a blessing. It is getting really hard on a day to day basis I feel like I am not myself anymore. I'm barely ever happy or laughing. It is really taking a severe toll on me where I cannot focus on my studies or my work. I remind myself that everything happens based off of our previous karams and thats why I am going through everything but sometimes I just crash and I don't know how to stop myself from spiraling downwards.

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I was in a relationship with somebody for a very long time and I thought I was going to marry him. But he broke up with me a few months ago and ever since then I have been in deep depression. He was abusive throughout the relationship which is why I should take this as a blessing but I don't know why I cannot move on from this. I've tried to do path and read bani I recite Jap Ji sahib every morning and whenever I think about it I start doing chaupai sahib but I feel like I'm just spiraling downwards with nobody to ask for advice from. I have friends but none of them are Sikh and they provide the non-Sikh perspective to this but I just wanted the Sikh perspective and what I should do to spiral out of this depression and accept everything as a blessing. It is getting really hard on a day to day basis I feel like I am not myself anymore. I'm barely ever happy or laughing. It is really taking a severe toll on me where I cannot focus on my studies or my work. I remind myself that everything happens based off of our previous karams and thats why I am going through everything but sometimes I just crash and I don't know how to stop myself from spiraling downwards.

Depression is pretty common after breakups in an relationship. Just be thankful because as you said he was abusive throughout the relationship and that indicates that's not really who you want to be a partner with for rest of your life. Try doing Sukhmani Sahib also and reach out to close cousins of yours who you feel comfortable talking to or getting advise from or anyone from sangat and try to recover bit by bit.

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Read up on bhagti and start doing bhagti seriously- thats what i did and ive experienced and learned so much and learned to see my blessings. We live in this test world n we die- we're here 2 discover Truth, not just to live our karams of happiness and pain which are not even real- theyre there 2 be felt while we practice truth detachment from them- but really theyre just nothing, theyre just 2 sides of the same coin. Thats what u need to learn. Practice Spirituality- we are meant to be spiritual warriors practicing miri n piri. God Bless you

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From a Sikh perspective I feel depression comes from losing something we're attached to, like another person. Our relationships to other people are all temporary as we have many life times, it is only when we have a relationship with Waheguru that we have someone we can truly attach to and not feel depressed as Waheguru will not let us down. It doesn't mean you don't still feel love for others but you become aware that ultimately it is Waheguru who is the one you can truly rely on. I've felt depressed from feeling let down by my family who I was very close to but those feelings helped me see Waheguru is the one who will never let me down and maybe I was too attached to my family.

Spend time doing simran and feeling close to Waheguru, just start with a few minutes and you will start feeling Waheguruji is close to you. Also practical things like doing things you enjoy and spending time with people who care about you, can help to build your confidence as it sounds like he didn't treat you well which can affect confidence in yourself.

Hope this helps.

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Panji

Its a blessing in disguise.... You said yourself that this person was abusive towards you, Is that really how you want to be in a relationship? See this as a good thing, learn from what happened and know that there is something better coming in the future. I know thus seems like a very airy fairy answer but it is true. It seems like this person who broke up with you didnt seem to care, Poepl who are truly in love fight for their relationship. Now im not saying that what you had wasnt 'love' but i am saying that maybe you can put this 'love' into something else. You could be so much better and you can do som much more. Use your effort and strength and do something posistive.

*Get involved in voluntary work, helping others maked you feel better about yourself.

*Go to the gurdwara and do seva, ask for a hukamnama... All these little things will help you get out of your head. If you do feel that this isnt working then going to therapy would a be very beneficial.

The only thing you can do now is to try and move forward, You cannot go back.

Fateh Panji, I wish you all the best PM me if you want to talk.

:respect: WJKK WJKF :respect:


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I think this is a really sad state of affairs. I think you did wrong by having a relationship in the first place with a man before marriage. It's not ok and a poor decision. Secondly the man was abusive towards you - hardly companionship material eh? You suffer from poor self esteem and think that by degrading yourself will make your life better. Wake up !!!

You have the right to live your life as you choose, have sikhi guide you on your path. Do something new. Help somebody that needs it. Try some new activities, speak to a friend or relative that you haven't seen or heard from in ages. Wear different colours. Watch a funny film or programme. Basically distract yourself and keep yourself busy and over time you will forget about this unpleasantness and look forward to the future. See yourself with a loving partner and children and it will come. Do your prayers everyday and be thankful for what you have for there are millions less fortunate than you. You can make your life better, you just need to realise that you have the power within you to do it.

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I've been through the same, unfortunately alot of sikh men tend to be abusive, it's a cultural thing. Abuse tends to change who you are as a person, it's important to WALK AWAY as soon as it happens, which obviously neither you or I did.

Just walk away, shed away the old you. Take on a new hobby, do paath and make an effort to be happy.

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