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Guest Depressed

Sat sri akal,

I am a Sikh but have been brought up in a western society so I do not speak punjabi well or follow sikhi as much as I could have. I am depply depressed and have severe social anxiety due to certain situations that have occured in my life. I am quite young, in my early 20s and I am struggling to see how I can live the rest of my life out when I am so scared of leaving the house. I hate myself in all facets and hence have no self esteem.

I currently see a psychologist and a psychiatrist which has helped a little bit, but I don't think it can help me that much in order to allow me to live again. I have always believed in waheguru but have not done enough praying or anything of that sort. I can read punjabi/gurbani but I do not understand the words.

I don't know what to do to get myself out of this. Suicide thoughts run through my mind but I don't want to do it and I realise that it is an unnatural death.

Any help would be great, I'd like to become more religious and try and find god. I am just a mess so I don't know what else to say. Would me going to Punjab and living there for a few months be beneficial as I would be surrounded by sikhi all the time?

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Life's Problem is a typical Catch 22 .A catch-22 is a paradoxical situation from which an individual cannot escape because of contradictory rules.[1][2] Catch-22s often result from rules, regulations, or procedures that an individual is subject to but has no control over because to fight the rule is to accept it. Mind often plays the devils advocate telling one to accept other people opinion and one repeated thought playing over and over about how one is not enough. Now the real deal is that step back observe your mind YOU are not the mind. First observe the breath goes in and out. Then observe your thoughts do not respond to them, keep observing all the negative talk that your thoughts are telling yourself. My friend be an observer be aware do not respond or believe all the negative mind chatter. Do it few mintes a day morning evening. You will feel better. Also after a while via breath in and out say wahe while breathing in and guru while breathing out. Over time when mind goes into negative chatter it will go to simran. Keep praying to Guru Sahib for his kirpa to take you out of your situation. Also reach out to other people do seva in gurudwara or nursing home, shelters. Etc. Fastest way to release happiness in oneself is to make someone else happy. Smile look in mirror tell yourself you are a divine being having an human experience. Good luck

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Sat sri akal,

I am a Sikh but have been brought up in a western society so I do not speak punjabi well or follow sikhi as much as I could have. I am depply depressed and have severe social anxiety due to certain situations that have occured in my life. I am quite young, in my early 20s and I am struggling to see how I can live the rest of my life out when I am so scared of leaving the house. I hate myself in all facets and hence have no self esteem.

I currently see a psychologist and a psychiatrist which has helped a little bit, but I don't think it can help me that much in order to allow me to live again. I have always believed in waheguru but have not done enough praying or anything of that sort. I can read punjabi/gurbani but I do not understand the words.

I don't know what to do to get myself out of this. Suicide thoughts run through my mind but I don't want to do it and I realise that it is an unnatural death.

Any help would be great, I'd like to become more religious and try and find god. I am just a mess so I don't know what else to say. Would me going to Punjab and living there for a few months be beneficial as I would be surrounded by sikhi all the time?

New surrounding would help. But punjab is suffering not enough Sikhi there, maybe if u went to a dera, like Taksal or Nihangs? But I think u shud attend local camps or international Sikhi camps.Also read meaning of gurbani and try to connect them back to gurbani. like Sant Jana Mil Har Jas Gaa-eo: The Saints meet to sing god's praises. Sant -saint, Jana-ppl Mil-meet Har-God Gaa-eo-sing. etc

Also read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

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try and find a way to connect to Waheguru, once you do you realise you're not alone. Some ways that help me are listening to patt I feel a special connection to - it was listening to Anand Sahib that got me interested to find out more. You're lucky you can read gurbani, maybe the next step is to get English translations so you can connect to the meanings. Do you have access to the Sikh channels, there's a daily programme explaining the hukamnamma in Punjabi and English on Sikh Channel, think its on at 1.30pm. I like your idea of visiting Punjab, especially Harmandir Sahib, but maybe like someone else suggested, try a sikhi camp here first. Joining in singing of shabads with sangat at gurdwara is very powerful too, I know some people feel connected doing seva at the gurdwara, suppose its finding what works for you, but once you find it you just want Waheguru in your life as he/she is the only one you can truly depend on, the one who's been with you through all your lives not just this one.

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Guest Satnaam

Why do u feel like you're not good enough? I love you, and so do other bhagats. Read Gurbani and apply it to your life.

I began seriously when I stopped associating with people who were into maya, and stopped drinking.

Then I began to get up at 4am each morning to do amrit vela paath and naam simran.

Then I started bhagti seriously, getting up at 1am doing amrit vela meditation naam simran for over 2 and a half hours.

And thats when I realised that the world is FULL of fearful and insecure people- so dont think youre alone in this- it's Kalyug. People lash out in their insecurity pain.

So why not be different, be a pioneer and be proud of the Guru, of Truth of yourself, because u Really Are a Spiritual being having a Human Experience on earth. I was the same as u and now people Literally bow when I walk past because they feel my confidence/Truth(God), all u need is Truth.

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Guest Depressed

Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate it.

I use to listen to path fairly regularly (japji and rehras) early in my plight and also attempting meditation with something similar of what you were describing Scali. Admitedly I have dropped off a lot and I have not done this in months. I definitely need to start getting into a good routine listening to path and meditate on naam. I do have aspirations of helping people, but my social anxiety and paranoia make it very hard to do that, as I am fearful of being in public. This is caused by body issues.

To further elaborate on what you were asking Satnaam, I found out things about my life which I did not think it was possible, this has changed the way I feel and think about myself.

At the moment I happen to drink every second day, but not large amounts, maximum of 3 beers in a day. I would like to phase this out, or at least drink a lot less frequently. Ideally I would like to get a stage where I have self acceptence through waheguru. I would also love to get to a stage where you are currently at Satnaam.

Will reading gurbani help even though I do not understand what I am reading?

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Guest Satnaam

Well I dont judge u, so thats one person who accepts u for who you are- even though we are not the body.

I would definitely say give up drinking, it makes u spiritually n mentally weak.

I used to drink and any issues I had were magnified hundreds of times at least during that period.

Try and excercise(very important), eat healthily, go to the gurdwarra once a week- It will help.

Read gurbani, read the english translations and try n apply them to your life, never slander, never commit the 5 thieves- disown them and never ever lie.

Meditate n discover yourself, u are God n He is U, dont let anyone tell u or make u think your not good enough. Guru Nanak said the entire world has gone mad and is deluded + people think we are just flesh n bone. But we are so much more, infinitely more than that.

Detach from your ideals of society, its just the blind leading the blind, no need to be anxious of deluded people- discover your true self n hold tight to it.

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O:) You gotta understand it. Theres plenty of translations online but you gotta make the effort. When it feels uncomfortable thats when you start learning things and you gotta get in the zone and just get it done. Spend at least a 1 hour at a time and dont leave until that hour is over to your studies. Your number 1 thing you should read is http://www.rajkaregakhalsa.net/downloads/Gurbani%20Related/Sri%20Guru%20Granth%20Sahib%20Ji%20Maharaj/JapJi_Sahib-_A_Translation_-_Prof_Teja_Singh.pdf

and also

http://www.nyu.edu/clubs/usa/docs/sggs.pdf

coupled with this

http://www.sikhvibes.com/downloads/PDFs/Raags.pdf

read according to time of day and raag rather than linearly

You must go to Gurdwara daily that would totaly change u up best time is early morning ask for their early morning schedule if not possible try atleast to get the evening divaan (enlightenment). After Japji sahib i reccomend doing the 5 bani's or asa di vaar or sukhmani sahib but by then you will already have found the path.

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Guest Depressed

Thank you very much jpsingh2 for your sources, I will definitely read them. You make a good point in going to guduwara daily, there is nothing stopping me doing that so I should do it. I am pretty sure my local guduwara has a morning program that starts at 6am, I can get myself in a good routine and go to it daily. I really hope I can find the path

Also appreciate your words Satnam. What tips do you have to give up drinking?

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