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Guest Depressed

Sat sri akal,

I am a Sikh but have been brought up in a western society so I do not speak punjabi well or follow sikhi as much as I could have. I am depply depressed and have severe social anxiety due to certain situations that have occured in my life. I am quite young, in my early 20s and I am struggling to see how I can live the rest of my life out when I am so scared of leaving the house. I hate myself in all facets and hence have no self esteem.

I currently see a psychologist and a psychiatrist which has helped a little bit, but I don't think it can help me that much in order to allow me to live again. I have always believed in waheguru but have not done enough praying or anything of that sort. I can read punjabi/gurbani but I do not understand the words.

I don't know what to do to get myself out of this. Suicide thoughts run through my mind but I don't want to do it and I realise that it is an unnatural death.

Any help would be great, I'd like to become more religious and try and find god. I am just a mess so I don't know what else to say. Would me going to Punjab and living there for a few months be beneficial as I would be surrounded by sikhi all the time?

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Life's Problem is a typical Catch 22 .A catch-22 is a paradoxical situation from which an individual cannot escape because of contradictory rules.[1][2] Catch-22s often result from rules, regulations, or procedures that an individual is subject to but has no control over because to fight the rule is to accept it. Mind often plays the devils advocate telling one to accept other people opinion and one repeated thought playing over and over about how one is not enough. Now the real deal is that step back observe your mind YOU are not the mind. First observe the breath goes in and out. Then observe your thoughts do not respond to them, keep observing all the negative talk that your thoughts are telling yourself. My friend be an observer be aware do not respond or believe all the negative mind chatter. Do it few mintes a day morning evening. You will feel better. Also after a while via breath in and out say wahe while breathing in and guru while breathing out. Over time when mind goes into negative chatter it will go to simran. Keep praying to Guru Sahib for his kirpa to take you out of your situation. Also reach out to other people do seva in gurudwara or nursing home, shelters. Etc. Fastest way to release happiness in oneself is to make someone else happy. Smile look in mirror tell yourself you are a divine being having an human experience. Good luck

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Sat sri akal,

I am a Sikh but have been brought up in a western society so I do not speak punjabi well or follow sikhi as much as I could have. I am depply depressed and have severe social anxiety due to certain situations that have occured in my life. I am quite young, in my early 20s and I am struggling to see how I can live the rest of my life out when I am so scared of leaving the house. I hate myself in all facets and hence have no self esteem.

I currently see a psychologist and a psychiatrist which has helped a little bit, but I don't think it can help me that much in order to allow me to live again. I have always believed in waheguru but have not done enough praying or anything of that sort. I can read punjabi/gurbani but I do not understand the words.

I don't know what to do to get myself out of this. Suicide thoughts run through my mind but I don't want to do it and I realise that it is an unnatural death.

Any help would be great, I'd like to become more religious and try and find god. I am just a mess so I don't know what else to say. Would me going to Punjab and living there for a few months be beneficial as I would be surrounded by sikhi all the time?

New surrounding would help. But punjab is suffering not enough Sikhi there, maybe if u went to a dera, like Taksal or Nihangs? But I think u shud attend local camps or international Sikhi camps.Also read meaning of gurbani and try to connect them back to gurbani. like Sant Jana Mil Har Jas Gaa-eo: The Saints meet to sing god's praises. Sant -saint, Jana-ppl Mil-meet Har-God Gaa-eo-sing. etc

Also read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

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try and find a way to connect to Waheguru, once you do you realise you're not alone. Some ways that help me are listening to patt I feel a special connection to - it was listening to Anand Sahib that got me interested to find out more. You're lucky you can read gurbani, maybe the next step is to get English translations so you can connect to the meanings. Do you have access to the Sikh channels, there's a daily programme explaining the hukamnamma in Punjabi and English on Sikh Channel, think its on at 1.30pm. I like your idea of visiting Punjab, especially Harmandir Sahib, but maybe like someone else suggested, try a sikhi camp here first. Joining in singing of shabads with sangat at gurdwara is very powerful too, I know some people feel connected doing seva at the gurdwara, suppose its finding what works for you, but once you find it you just want Waheguru in your life as he/she is the only one you can truly depend on, the one who's been with you through all your lives not just this one.

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Guest Satnaam

Why do u feel like you're not good enough? I love you, and so do other bhagats. Read Gurbani and apply it to your life.

I began seriously when I stopped associating with people who were into maya, and stopped drinking.

Then I began to get up at 4am each morning to do amrit vela paath and naam simran.

Then I started bhagti seriously, getting up at 1am doing amrit vela meditation naam simran for over 2 and a half hours.

And thats when I realised that the world is FULL of fearful and insecure people- so dont think youre alone in this- it's Kalyug. People lash out in their insecurity pain.

So why not be different, be a pioneer and be proud of the Guru, of Truth of yourself, because u Really Are a Spiritual being having a Human Experience on earth. I was the same as u and now people Literally bow when I walk past because they feel my confidence/Truth(God), all u need is Truth.

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Guest Depressed

Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate it.

I use to listen to path fairly regularly (japji and rehras) early in my plight and also attempting meditation with something similar of what you were describing Scali. Admitedly I have dropped off a lot and I have not done this in months. I definitely need to start getting into a good routine listening to path and meditate on naam. I do have aspirations of helping people, but my social anxiety and paranoia make it very hard to do that, as I am fearful of being in public. This is caused by body issues.

To further elaborate on what you were asking Satnaam, I found out things about my life which I did not think it was possible, this has changed the way I feel and think about myself.

At the moment I happen to drink every second day, but not large amounts, maximum of 3 beers in a day. I would like to phase this out, or at least drink a lot less frequently. Ideally I would like to get a stage where I have self acceptence through waheguru. I would also love to get to a stage where you are currently at Satnaam.

Will reading gurbani help even though I do not understand what I am reading?

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Guest Satnaam

Well I dont judge u, so thats one person who accepts u for who you are- even though we are not the body.

I would definitely say give up drinking, it makes u spiritually n mentally weak.

I used to drink and any issues I had were magnified hundreds of times at least during that period.

Try and excercise(very important), eat healthily, go to the gurdwarra once a week- It will help.

Read gurbani, read the english translations and try n apply them to your life, never slander, never commit the 5 thieves- disown them and never ever lie.

Meditate n discover yourself, u are God n He is U, dont let anyone tell u or make u think your not good enough. Guru Nanak said the entire world has gone mad and is deluded + people think we are just flesh n bone. But we are so much more, infinitely more than that.

Detach from your ideals of society, its just the blind leading the blind, no need to be anxious of deluded people- discover your true self n hold tight to it.

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O:) You gotta understand it. Theres plenty of translations online but you gotta make the effort. When it feels uncomfortable thats when you start learning things and you gotta get in the zone and just get it done. Spend at least a 1 hour at a time and dont leave until that hour is over to your studies. Your number 1 thing you should read is http://www.rajkaregakhalsa.net/downloads/Gurbani%20Related/Sri%20Guru%20Granth%20Sahib%20Ji%20Maharaj/JapJi_Sahib-_A_Translation_-_Prof_Teja_Singh.pdf

and also

http://www.nyu.edu/clubs/usa/docs/sggs.pdf

coupled with this

http://www.sikhvibes.com/downloads/PDFs/Raags.pdf

read according to time of day and raag rather than linearly

You must go to Gurdwara daily that would totaly change u up best time is early morning ask for their early morning schedule if not possible try atleast to get the evening divaan (enlightenment). After Japji sahib i reccomend doing the 5 bani's or asa di vaar or sukhmani sahib but by then you will already have found the path.

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Guest Depressed

Thank you very much jpsingh2 for your sources, I will definitely read them. You make a good point in going to guduwara daily, there is nothing stopping me doing that so I should do it. I am pretty sure my local guduwara has a morning program that starts at 6am, I can get myself in a good routine and go to it daily. I really hope I can find the path

Also appreciate your words Satnam. What tips do you have to give up drinking?

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Here an article which you can read and have a bit of understanding . If you need more help you can contact me on yaqub.masih@gmail.com

A Perfect Hope for All from Gurbani

This article is written with a view to show that the Word of God from the Sikh holy book does contain wonderful truth about life after death.

ਧੁਰ ਕੀ ਬਾਣੀ ਆਈ The word of Lord came to me from the celestial world on high, and

ਤਿਨਿ ਸਗਲੀ ਚਿੰਤ ਮਿਟਾਈ all the worries have been taken away.

ਦਇਆਲ ਪੁਰਖ ਮਿਹਰਵਾਨਾ The kind Lord (Hair),

ਹਰਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਸਾਚੁ ਵਖਾਨਾ has manifested unto me , Nanak , the truth.

What worries us?

All mankind is under the effect of Sin and Death and therefore, are

separated from their God. They can not overcome sin and death by

themselves, and they do not have clear knowledge and understanding

about getting connected to their God. According to the plan of Great

God, the Father of us all, it was necessary for us, His spirit

Children to be separated from our Heavenly parents to come to live on earth.

ਤੁਧੁ ਆਪਿ ਵਿਛੋੜਿਆ ਆਪਿ ਮਿਲਾਇਆ

You yourself separate the mortals, and You Yourself unite them. ||1||

Here we are separated from God, knowing nothing what went before we

came to this mortal existence, why are we here? What is the purpose of

this life? And where do we go after this life is over? Or is there any

thing after this life at all?

Answers to these puzzling questions can be found in the holy books

which God has provided for us to study and ponder. The words which are

contained in Holy Scriptures are written by holy men of God, who have

seen God and conversed with Him. And these words are given to them as

messages from Him to be imparted to His children. I would urge and

exhort you to study His words and trust in them and believe that God ,

the eternal Father of us all do truly exists, dwells in yonder

heavens, watches over us and wants us to be happy in this life and in

the life to come.

As previously stated that we have no power over sin, death, diseases

and sicknesses and everything which goes along with our life and we

don’t know the way, or in other words, we are lost in this world. But,

because our Heavenly Father loves us, He has provided the way.

He (God) has sent to this earth the perfect Guru or Sat guru, who is able to help us.

Let us read about this Guru in the Gurbani:

ਗੁਰੁ ਸਜਣੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ ਮੈ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਹਰਿ ਮਾਰਗੁ ਪੰਥੁ ਦਸਾਹਾ

I have met my Beloved Friend, the Guru, who has shown me the Path to the Lord.

ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਗੁਰ ਜੇਵਡੁ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ O my soul, there is none as great as the Guru is.

Guru knows the way and He is the Way. There is none like Him.

ਗੁਰੁ ਪਰਮੇਸਰੁ ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਡੁਬਦਾ ਲਏ ਤਰਾਇ//

Gur parmesar pārbarahmgurdubḏā la▫e ṯarā▫e. The Guru is the Transcendent Lord, the Supreme Lord God. The Guru lifts up and saves those who are drowning.

DEATH IS INEVITABLE.

What is death? Death is separation of body from the spirit. When our

spirit, which is eternal, leaves the body of clay, the body can not

function. No one likes to die; no one likes to get old. But everyone

has to accept the will of the Almighty God. Don’t worry; God has

arranged everything for us. He has sent messages of hope and mercy

through the holy men. We live in a world that is transitory and

fleeting, and nothing is permanent. Here are given more verses from

the gurbani regarding old age and death. They are parts of this mortal

life. All human beings go through the suffering in this life. Gurbani,

the word of the Guru reveals to us that this suffering is only for a

short period of time i.e. as long as one lives in the mortal body.

Consider the following verses from Gurbani:

ਰਾਮੁ ਗਇਓ ਰਾਵਨੁ ਗਇਓ ਜਾ ਕਉ ਬਹੁ ਪਰਵਾਰੁ

Raam Chand passed away, as did Raawan, even though he had lots of relatives.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਥਿਰੁ ਕਛੁ ਨਹੀ ਸੁਪਨੇ ਜਿਉ ਸੰਸਾਰੁ ੫੦

Says Nanak, nothing lasts forever; the world is like a dream.

ਚਿੰਤਾ ਤਾ ਕੀ ਕੀਜੀਐ ਜੋ ਅਨਹੋਨੀ ਹੋਇ

Why worry for that which is inevitable?

ਇਹੁ ਮਾਰਗੁ ਸੰਸਾਰ ਕੋ ਨਾਨਕ ਥਿਰੁ ਨਹੀ ਕੋਇ ੫੧

This is the way of the world, O Nanak; nothing is stable or permanent. ||51||

ਜੋ ਉਪਜਿਓ ਸੋ ਬਿਨਸਿ ਹੈ ਪਰੋ ਆਜੁ ਕੈ ਕਾਲਿ

Whatever has been created shall be destroyed; everyone shall perish, today or tomorrow.

A PERFECT HOPE FOR ALL HUMAN BEINGS.

They tell us through His words, the Gurbani that the sting of death is

taken out, sicknesses and diseases are cured, getting old is stayed

and all righteous desires of man will be fulfilled in due course of

the Lord.

To understand the messages of the Gurbani, one has to understand that

all that is spoken of in and through the gurbani is to be fulfilled in

the future, i.e. when Kalyuga (time or present condition) will be

ended and Satyug will be ushered in. The popular term used for this

transition is called the end of the world.

When one looks around, one sees that people are subject to sickness,

disease, corruption, death and decay, one wonders what Gurubani is

talking about. Exactly, Gurbani is giving us message or good news

(Manglacharan) from heaven. We need to have Faith and Hope. God loves

us. He has given us hope.

The perfect Guru has redeemed us from old age and death. But, for now

you and I are going to get old and one day we will die. Our spirit

leaves the body and goes to a place called Spirit World or Parlok.

Everybody goes there and there is veil between this world and world of

the departed souls. There is a great example of this fact found in

Gita, when Arjna refuses to fight war against his own relatives. Lord

Krishna, through his power, opens the eyes of Arjana and is shown the

glimpse of the people who depart this life and go to the spirit world.

Only then Arjana is convinced to take up the arms and fight the

battle.

ਇਹ ਲੋਕ ਸੁਖੀਏ ਪਰਲੋਕ ਸੁਹੇਲੇ He is at peace in this world, and happy in the next.

When someone dies people mourn and lament the departure of their loved

one in such a way that they show hopelessness and ignorance about the

existence of people hereafter in the next world. It pains me to see

people’s hopelessness and ignorance, yet they go to temples and listen

to the word of the Guru and have no understanding or vision of

hereafter.

Guru has overcome diseases and sickness for all human.

ਜਨਮ ਮਰਣ ਦੂਖ ਤੇ ਰਾਖੈ He saves us from the pains of death and birth

ਪਤਿਤ ਪੁਨੀਤ ਕੀਏ ਖਿਨ ਭੀਤਰਿ ਸਗਲਾ ਰੋਗੁ ਬਿਦਾਰਿਆ He purifies sinners in

an instant, and cures all diseases. ||1||Pause||

ਗੁਰਿ ਪੂਰੈ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰੀ ਕਾਟਿਆ ਦੁਖੁ ਰੋਗੁ The Perfect Guru has shown mercy

to me, and eradicated my pains and illnesses.

Guru has overcome Death and therefore, has provided us with a

perfected and immortal body. This new body will have no more disease

and death and we will live for ever. Read and ponder the following

verses:

ਨਾਨਕ ਅਗੈ ਊਤਮ ਸੇਈ ਜਿ ਪਾਪਾਂ ਪੰਦਿ ਨ ਦੇਹੀ O Nanak, those who do not

walk in the ways of sin, shall be exalted in the world hereafter.

ਜਰਾ ਮਰਣ ਦੁਖੁ ਫੇਰਿ ਨ ਹੋਇ They shall never again suffer the pains of old age and death.

ਕਹਤ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਮਾਰਿ ਜੀਵਾਲੇ ਸੋਇ Says Nanak, He alone kills and revives.

ਐਸਾ ਬੂਝਹੁ ਭਰਮਿ ਨ ਭੂਲਹੁ ਕੋਇ Understand this well - do not be confused by doubt.

ਜੀਉ ਪਿੰਡੁ ਸਭ ਰਾਸਿ ਤਿਸੈ ਕੀ ਮਾਰਿ ਆਪੇ ਜੀਵਾਲੇ ੧੩This soul and body

all are His. He Himself kills, and brings back to life. ||6||1||13||

ਜਰਾ ਮਰਾ ਤਾਪੁ ਸਭੁ ਨਾਠਾ ਗੁਣ ਗੋਬਿੰਦ ਨਿਤ ਗਾਵਹੁ The pains of old age and death shall all depart, sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord of the Universe. ||3||

Is not Gurbani wonderful? It is full of nuggets of gold. It is simply beautiful, and beautifully simple.

Our Guru is wonderful.

That is why

He is known as waheguru. Which literally means wonderful guru? I

testify in the sacred name of the waheguru that his message in

Gurugranth Sahib is true.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki Fateh.

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Dear Depressed jee,

brother Satnam has beautifully given you the answers, so reading Bani, listening Bani is very good, but to achieve that state of consciousness, is done by hard work, like he said, he does bhajan bangdagee from 1 am onwards, but you may do it, whenever it suits you, but the thing is, to do it constantly and regularly.

Just as we eat food daily, in a similar way, our soul needs the healthy food of Truth, of His Nam Simran, which will in due time, purgate you of the toxins in your mental body. Once the mind is healthy, the body will automaticlally function rightly.

So give up your evil tendenciy of drinking, because that dulls the vison of the mind, making it a tool in the devils hand to torture you.

It will not be easy for you to start, but you have no choice, if you want to come out of the hell, it is you yourself who has to take the right steps, all of us, by His grace, can only give you our moral support, but it is you, who has to put all your sincere efforts.

Wahiguru has already blessed you, with a human body so that you can do the bhajan bandagee and liberate yourself, once and forever.

So appreciate the real value of His blessing you with a human body .... if you do not make the most of it, then the wheel of eighty four- "chaurasee ka chakar", is already there ...who knows, after how many eons, one may get this nar narainee deh, human body again?

The Bani says: Har mandir ehu sareer hae, gyan ratn pargat hoe. This body is His temple, where if done the right jugtee of His bhakti, you will find all spiritual treasures, including the real treasurer, who is none other than Wahiguru, Himself.

Sat Sree Akal.

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Sat sri akal,

I am a Sikh but have been brought up in a western society so I do not speak punjabi well or follow sikhi as much as I could have. I am depply depressed and have severe social anxiety due to certain situations that have occured in my life. I am quite young, in my early 20s and I am struggling to see how I can live the rest of my life out when I am so scared of leaving the house. I hate myself in all facets and hence have no self esteem.

I currently see a psychologist and a psychiatrist which has helped a little bit, but I don't think it can help me that much in order to allow me to live again. I have always believed in waheguru but have not done enough praying or anything of that sort. I can read punjabi/gurbani but I do not understand the words.

I don't know what to do to get myself out of this. Suicide thoughts run through my mind but I don't want to do it and I realise that it is an unnatural death.

Any help would be great, I'd like to become more religious and try and find god. I am just a mess so I don't know what else to say. Would me going to Punjab and living there for a few months be beneficial as I would be surrounded by sikhi all the time?

Fateh veer ji or pen ji

first of all I would like to apologies for my delay in replying,,, suicide is a very sensitive topic and I just didn't want to say anything without thinking I through properly.... suicide thoughts are actually more common than you may think I remember when I was young me and my friend use to talk about suicide, how you could just end everything there, bang, bas everythings gone.

however only thanks to sache paathsha I have realised suicide is the end to nothing, apart from happiness. I remember hearing in the katha once that by committing suicide

1. your automatically into another life cycle

2. your now carryng extra baggage of paap for ending your previous life.

So thinking about it whats really the point? What happens to us today is due to our karam, right? so why make more bad karams by suicide.

Personally in my mind I see suicide as a maze, you get out one door thinking "pheewww i'm gone" but then your trapped in another puzzle. Also a point to think about is we don't know whats going to happen the next second forget about the next day so imagine if we were to die tomorrow but today we committed suicide, what have we done? we've just gone and messed everything up....

so please please PLEASEEE, don't think about suicide the dukh that we have in our karam we have to go through, its like schooling no matter how much we hate it we have to go through it, so why don't we just accept it and allow gods will to flow. Your probably thinking now, 'why is god doing this to me? what can I do to make it all stop?' and the simple answers are, gods doing this because we haven't japp'ed enough naam and only by japp'ing naam this will go away. Its like if you have a black paint brush, no matter what colour is underneath you can use it to hide it.... :)

Also my top tip which I give to everyone (not that i'm worthy of giving tips but still :p lol ) is THINK POSITIVE! Trust me I cant explain or emphasises enough that just by thinking positive you can make a problem which looks as big as a mountain look like a tiny little pebble.

Remember most of our problems/worries don't even exist outside our brains/minds. You say you have low self esteem, think why? why should you have low self esteem when yours just like all of us? Your the creation of the benevolent waheguru ji and so are we, you have the spark of the divine in you so do we, fir kyu?

Remember waheguru ji isn't angry with you he doesn't hate you he loves you and is just waiting for you to pray and call him, think of him as the fire brigade, he has all the equipment to stop the fire and will even risk everything to save you but he can only do that if you call him to the rescue..... call wahgeuru ji like you would call your mother, when we need our mums we don't just sit there and blankly say "mum :/ " we shout out "muuummmm :') " << it would've been much easier if I could sepak this out - hope you understand what im trying to say lol :D

okay han ji I know what your probably thinking - what do you know? you haven't been through what i have ? i'm not you ?

but hey I know someone who knows exactly what you've been through and is a part of you - WAHEGURU JIIIII

ਹਮਰੀ ਬੇਦਨਿ ਤੂ ਜਾਨਤਾ ਸਾਹਾ ਅਵਰੁ ਕਿਆ ਜਾਨੈ ਕੋਇ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Hamaree Baedhan Thoo Janatha Saha Avar Kia Janai Koe || Rehao ||

You alone know my inner pain, O King; what can anyone else know? ||Pause||

Waheguru ji has been through whatever you have because he is always within you, talk to him, do simran, make him happy....

I know doing simran sometimes can be very hard , what I do is when im praying for worries I sing a shabad, so what i'll do is find a shabad according to its meaning and my problem so for example imagine if i'm worries about

something about my family I sing this shabad -

ਸਿਮਰਉ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਵਉ ॥

Simaro Simar Simar Sukh Paavo ||

Meditate, meditate, meditate in remembrance of Him, and find peace.

ਕਲਿ ਕਲੇਸ ਤਨ ਮਾਹਿ ਮਿਟਾਵਉ ॥

Kal Kalaes Than Maahi Mittaavo ||

Worry and anguish shall be dispelled from your body.

the reason why I do this is that it helps me actually think about what i'm saying and what type of feeling/bhavna to have when talking to waheguru ji, it make it more personal and I feel that waheguru ji is listening to me ....

Your lucky you can read Punjabi, think about all those people who want to read bani but they can't read punjbai and have so many difficulties... also your still young, everyone always says that its much easier to change your life around when your young because to be honest who really knows you, you haven't made your mark on the world yet, you still have the opportunity to change, people see your as a kid, you have that chance to change without all those people bugging you... you can do it :)

waheguru ji kirpa karan... charna da pyar bakshan....

bhul chuk maaf karni, let us know how you go ... take care and remember chuck the sue outside- no thinking about suicide :D

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