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Eating From Singh Whos Not Rehitvaan


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Vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

Sangat ji last year daas met a Gursikh who's in full bana and also has Maharajs saroop at his house. We became good friends. He's older in age. Im relatively young. At first glance he seemed he was really disciplined in rehit. He kept and still keeps extreme sucham. But over time a lot of things have worn away. It seems as if there was a blaze that is slowly turning into smoke. Then when I started to know him more he revealed that once he made a sookham mistake thats not a bujjar kurehit and still needs to pesh. All his family is Amritdhari. I've seen him as mellow as you can get but also bursts of anger at times.

Sometimes I get this feeling that there is a persona he has acquired by doing all the things that Taksali Singhs do and deep inside there's a different person. But then I tell myself he has Maharajs saroop at home and its my mind that's making up things. I really feel im dealing with two Different people.

And there are moments when he's like you never call me when we would've shared fateh the day before. My concern is khalsa ji that im finding it harder to say no to him when it comes to eating at his place. Rehit maryada says not to eat at someones house when the person is not rehitvaan. I think he knows that too but he also has this daasa bhaav where he's constantly looking to help out others. Im realizing that im a completely different person around him and share almost everything and can't keep things to myself. Its as if he has some power and can guess or read what im thinking.

Maybe someone can help me out. I feel as if im being mesmerized into some spell sometimes. I know I should stop eating from him but I feel my soul and zameer is not what it used to be and I need someone to like hit me with a teer or something to wake me up from this slow drowning.

I don't think he has any bad intentions but from inside he's definitely not a complete Taksali Singh. If I in anyway have slandered this Singh or misjudged him I hope Guru Sahib can forgive me and guide me at the same time. Please share your thoughts.

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh!

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