Intercaste Marriage - Jat Sikh Girl Vs Ramgharia Boy

[TurbanGuys]

If you really believe in such a Hindu waad or your parents do Then I wanna let you know Both are lower Castes :biggrin2:

Instead of Wasting your time On such nonsense Things ...Go marry him....and Set examples for others

OMG THat Castes Suck!!!

[Sbhullar]

To all with positive comments thanks for your support.....

I love my family and i love his family too. I dont wana loose either of them.

I want you guys to give me some ideas how i can convince my family. Dont say run away bcoz thats not wat i m looking for. I need to make my dad understand things from our sikhi, what are gurus wants to teach us. I need examples from our sikh history to state that castism is not a part of sikhisms.

@ghettosikh

You are right. This is what i never understand whats the difference bw the two. Its just a proffesion, isnt it? Who cares wat his dad or families proffession is. I asked my dad same question, but he said theres nothing wrong in the profession its just caste.

I would have agreed to my parents decision if he was from different religion bcz then u have different god religions etc i wud still understand . But here everything is same. On the top of it me and his proff is same.

@jsinghnz

Yes i have spoken to my dad and tried to make him understand with some examples from sikhi. But he is Worried abt society. I dont understand if tomorrow i have some prob in my married life will society come to resolve the issues?

Ppl will talk no matter wat thats their job.

I have cousin who got married to a guy with his parents choice. After having frst kid, my cousin came to know that she is his third wife. And all of his previous wives have kids too.so how society will help my cousin. What was her fault ? And guess wat she hv no place to go, nt even her parents house.

Thats how our society make us to suffer.

Anyways if you guys have any ideas, i would appreciate if you can share with me. ThNkyou everyone.

[Sbhullar]

@Kharkusingh you are really funny ?

[thugger]

Caste issue a side. . Why get into something that would upset ur folks? Love based on lust is glorified lust. If u are engaging in kaam before marriage please do not use the caste argument to win the battle with ur folks. As a father to daughters its sad to say but u have let ur parents down.

Back to the main point of resolving this self inflictef selfish situation, unless u can see ur parents coming round u have to make a decision on who to choose.

Parents would get my call everyday of the week.

Pray for the clarity to make the best decision.

Um what does lust have to do w/anything here?Also, OP isn't in the wrong for choosing who s/he wants to marry. It's the parents' archaic views of marriage at fault here.

[kharkusingh1996]

@Kharkusingh you are really funny

haha I take Sikhs parents who refuse marriages because of caste issues/societal values very seriously cuz they need some knowledge dropped on their heads. If you convinced your dad that caste is absolutely non-existent and he agrees but he still worries about society tell him you still have family to resolve your issues in the end. Your dad should know Sikhs don't worry about public's opinion or societal values in the end. The chances if your partner and you are an absolute match there will be slight to none problems in the future. Hope all the best.

[Sbhullar]

Well i m nt teenager talking abt my relationship. We have sincere relationship and matured enough to mk decisions.. I dont know why lust came into this topic, rubbish.

[Sbhullar]

@kharkusingh, i agree with you thst wat i believe.spciety is secondary. What matters here shud ur family ur kids happiness. We cannot make whole world happy.

[hsingh8963]

Try to explain your father that real gursikhs in society won't care. And our gursikhi is against the caste system

[JSinghnz]

To all with positive comments thanks for your support.....

I love my family and i love his family too. I dont wana loose either of them.

I want you guys to give me some ideas how i can convince my family. Dont say run away bcoz thats not wat i m looking for. I need to make my dad understand things from our sikhi, what are gurus wants to teach us. I need examples from our sikh history to state that castism is not a part of sikhisms.

@ghettosikh

You are right. This is what i never understand whats the difference bw the two. Its just a proffesion, isnt it? Who cares wat his dad or families proffession is. I asked my dad same question, but he said theres nothing wrong in the profession its just caste.

I would have agreed to my parents decision if he was from different religion bcz then u have different god religions etc i wud still understand . But here everything is same. On the top of it me and his proff is same.

@jsinghnz

Yes i have spoken to my dad and tried to make him understand with some examples from sikhi. But he is Worried abt society. I dont understand if tomorrow i have some prob in my married life will society come to resolve the issues?

Ppl will talk no matter wat thats their job.

I have cousin who got married to a guy with his parents choice. After having frst kid, my cousin came to know that she is his third wife. And all of his previous wives have kids too.so how society will help my cousin. What was her fault ? And guess wat she hv no place to go, nt even her parents house.

Thats how our society make us to suffer.

Anyways if you guys have any ideas, i would appreciate if you can share with me. ThNkyou everyone.

Please have a read of the below and show it to your parents and ask them to read so that they know how mindless and narrow minded they are.

http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php?title=Caste_System

[JagsawSingh]

Thanks everyone for your positive and negatives comments

Replying to @garch and @jagsawsingh:

I dont think i have committed anything wrong by chosing with whom i should spend rest of my life. This society wont come after those girls and save them who undergo domestic violence. We have to live our whole life with it no matter wat. And at that time some parents may say thats your fate.

I chose my partner may be you can call me shamless but i have given the right to my parents to decide. And i m here discussing this because i still wana have my parents marry me with him with their consent. My dad likes him n his family. He got no other issue other than caste. If there was some other reason than i would have agreed. But just caste isnt wat u luk for while chosing a groom. I have seen cases where even after having a baby kick their wife out of the house, make their wife just a slave. If this is wat we call our culture and for you is pride. Then i m i have right to live and chose.

And by the way if you r sikh i want to ask you why the heck we go to golden temple the bonge was made by ramgharias. Why you go to sikh temple and sit in sangat for langar without knowing the caste of the person sitting beside you. Next time you go to guru ghar make sure to check whether the person who made the langar was of ur caste or from lower caste.

Thanks for your comments.

Why are you making out my message to you had anything whatsoever to do with 'ramgharias' 'jatt's or caste ?

My message was clear in that it was a lamentation of the times we live in. I'm not that much older than you but I could never imagine coming home and telling mum and dad about my lovely 'girlfriend'. I just find it sad and sorry to see so many posts on Sikh forums by Sikh women feeling no shame whatsoever telling the world, including complete strangers, about their lovers and relationships.

Clearly neither you nor some of the others here had enough intellect to understand the point behind what I said to you previously. I said to you your parents argument about "losing respect in the community" with regards the prospective marriage is a bit like slamming the barn door shut after the horse has bolted. The half of the community (of which I am a part) that will have negative judgements about your family already have those negative judgements. They, like me, already see your family in a bad light in that in yours, unlike mine, daughters and sisters shameslessly carry on with boyfriend relationships with members of the opposite sex.

Therefore, the reasoning behind your parent's opposition to the marriage is both pointless and wrong.