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Intercaste Marriage - Jat Sikh Girl Vs Ramgharia Boy


Sbhullar
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Why are you making out my message to you had anything whatsoever to do with 'ramgharias' 'jatt's or caste ?

My message was clear in that it was a lamentation of the times we live in. I'm not that much older than you but I could never imagine coming home and telling mum and dad about my lovely 'girlfriend'. I just find it sad and sorry to see so many posts on Sikh forums by Sikh women feeling no shame whatsoever telling the world, including complete strangers, about their lovers and relationships.

Clearly neither you nor some of the others here had enough intellect to understand the point behind what I said to you previously. I said to you your parents argument about "losing respect in the community" with regards the prospective marriage is a bit like slamming the barn door shut after the horse has bolted. The half of the community (of which I am a part) that will have negative judgements about your family already have those negative judgements. They, like me, already see your family in a bad light in that in yours, unlike mine, daughters and sisters shameslessly carry on with boyfriend relationships with members of the opposite sex.

Therefore, the reasoning behind your parent's opposition to the marriage is both pointless and wrong.

If only you had intellect, you would keep your judgement to yourself rather than openly showing the lack of it by writing such nonsensical

comments.

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Um what does lust have to do w/anything here?Also, OP isn't in the wrong for choosing who s/he wants to marry. It's the parents' archaic views of marriage at fault here.

You ask what it has to do with lust.

The lady in question has clearly used the term 'boyfriend'. Where I come from this would imply an out of wedlock physical relationship, maybe I jumped to conclusions (if incorrectly I sincerely apologise).

Bottom line is from a sikhi perspective the type of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that is the norm in the west is anti gurmat (isnt the gurmat view what we are here to discuss?).

Personally I am anti caste, but I think its important to not just focus on a single point of this situation I.e. casteist parents. Although popular culture accepts it but the girl having a boyfriend is anti-gurmat. I might get called archaic for holding this view but who said the sikhi path is easy???

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@garch

First of all let me clear this habing a bf doesnt mean having physical relnship. We both are countries apart so i dont think wat you are saying have anything to do in this case.

Secondly, lust can be fulfilled anywhere with anybody. Its not love. And i m not that cant of girl.

So i would suggest before jumping to a conclusion better ask for clarifications.

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Trust me, your parents have already been disgraced in society due to the fact that they've got a daughter that carries on with international boyfriend / girlfriend relationships. I don't see how their reputation can sink any lower.

Jeeezzz Jagga jatt>>> you getting real vex about someone kid datin man>>>

come on>me n you both know real reason you vex up is cuz it's a Jatti going with a takhaan man>> :lol2:

Us jatt men don't get called monkey brains for nuthing :biggrin2:

Put it this way>>>>if it were a jattan da munda going with a takhani kurri>> it would be fine>> :cool2:

Jus jokin dude>>>dont mean to cuss you

Funny cuz I got a mate who's niece was also gettin married to a takhan>>>>

Some guys were laughin and sayin >>Tarkhan ne jattan di kurri patleyie.>>he..he.. :lol2:

Jus kiddin wid ya man>>>so don't get vex with me

Anyway>>it's us jatt that seem to create more of the caste troubles>>yet we go around pretending we dont discriminate.

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I'm not getting vexed, I'm simply getting frustrated how difficult it is explaining simple points to most of the guys (and gals) here and hense the sheer number of times I have to repeat the same thing, desperately hoping that this time someone may be able to read it, digest it and understand it.

So....Frustration, NOT vexation.

I think for the 3rd time on this thread let me repeat what I said to the girl in question, and this time I'll put it in even easier to understand number form:

  1. She says the reason her parents give in opposition to the prospective marriage is the fact that they will lose respect in the community, i.e some people will look down on the family.
  2. I Told her her parents reasoning for their opposition is 100% WRONG. i.e there is no way they could justify their opposition on that reasoning.
  3. I told her how the traditional half of the community, of which I belong, already laugh at and look down on family's where fathers and brothers have no shame in the fact that their daughters and sisters blatantly keep boyfriends.
  4. Therefore, I told her her parents excuse is totally false, totally wrong.

Now, the thing you and many others here need to know is that a large chunk of we Sikh family's here in the west live by excellent morals and live by a certain way. In our way, our daughters and sisters do not carry on with lovers and boyfriends. Therefore, although you loathe to hear it, you do need to know that we do seriously look down on those Sikh families in the west where this kind of thing goes on. I'm not arguing with you about its merits or wrongs. I'm simply telling you a harsh truth that you need to know. The family's where this kind of thing goes on may see it as 'normal' but they do need to know how half of the community see them as a 'bad family' for it.

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Dont usually agree with jagsaw but this point made by him is generally right although a little blunt. A lot of youth nowadays struggle to digest it:

"Now, the thing you and many others here need to know is that a large chunk of we Sikh family's here in the west live by excellent morals and live by a certain way. In our way, our daughters and sisters do not carry on with lovers and boyfriends. Therefore, although you loathe to hear it, you do need to know that we do seriously look down on those Sikh families in the west where this kind of thing goes on. I'm not arguing with you about its merits or wrongs. I'm simply telling you a harsh truth that you need to know. The family's where this kind of thing goes on may see it as 'normal' but they do need to know how half of the community see them as a 'bad family' for it."


Having boyfriend's/girlfriend's is not in line with gurmat - even if that mean being branded backwards by the "educated masses" . Do u argue this point 'luckySINGH'?

Just as Parents being casteist is wrong and anti gurmat.

On this note I bid this debate goodbye, may Waheguru guide u to the best resolution.

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