He has severe anxiety, a sort of depression and his family didn't tell us, maybe they didn't acknowledge the seriousness of it and thought marriage would fix it. So after getting married his anxiety increased, I feel like people pressured him with the notion of honeymoon period and didn't acknowledge that we had an arrange marriage. I tried my hardest, I even threw all my English clothes away and wore what they brought me, I used to wear a suit on the weekend to avoid any stress on the weekends, I tried to support my husband with his anxiety and even persuaded him to get medication for it. My husband didn't come home for a week, wouldn't answer mt calls or msgs and when he returned with a group of his father's friends, who I hardly knew, announced that we can't be happy together and disappeared in his room. The so called friends began shouting at me, laughing at me and accusing me. They rang my parents before coming but my parents didn't know the seriousness of the situation and said that they don't want to interfere and my hubby needs to go home n discuss whats ever the matter is with me. One of man's wife began recording a video of me crying. I begged to be able to speak to my husband and my MIL and FIL who claimed that I was their daughter felt nothing towards me and sat there watching. The so called friend offered to drop me back home to my parents and I refused. They rang my parents and that man was very intimidating. When my parents and brothers arrived they were furious at how I'd been treated like a toy- when their son wanted me they were all dancing around me but now that he doesn't want me I'm not even being allowed to have a say. So basically they kicked me out with the single pair of clothes I had on, I took my work bag and managed to get hold of my passport/documents..... I remember sitting there broken and the ladies were giggling and chatting about shopping and their pets. I cried to my MIL that my life is falling apart and all these people can do is talk about their dog and all my MIL had to say to them was go chat in the other room.
I still remember that day clearly, I came back from work and spoke to everyone. They all seemed weird. I asked if they heard anything from my hubby and they claimed they hadn't. The night before I had posted some flowers to my hubby and a note that I really miss and love him. All the family were aware of what was going on but kept me in the dark. They so called friends claimed I has requested a breakup to my hubby but I don't understand if I had why would I sit there crying to my MIL FIL Saying how much I wish my hubby would come home or why would I msg/ring him or even sit around waiting.
I just don't understand how everything turned so horrible 😥
You don’t need to be sorry
I missed what actually happened and the reason for your breakup, but I doubt you need to feel disgusting. Can you write a letter to him and get all your feelings out? Will that help give you some form of closure?
Are you in England? It’s probably harder right now due to the lockdown. Once everything opens up and you can do whatever it is you would normally do to keep your mind busy hopefully you will feel a lot better.
Its difficult to become humble as these great sants of the past 😦
It's so easy to get wound up and start arguing with someone, its so hard not to react when someone says something to you and just stand there and ignore it. While these sants were so humble and took whatever people called them. I'v lost count the number of times i'v had a row with people in public over silly little things! its a egoistical thing isn't, standing there quite just feels like defeat, which is just your ego basically.
It's like the story of a sant trying to save a scorpion that was drowning in the river and every time he went in to save the scorpion it would sting his hand and he would let go, and then he went in to save it again and it stung him again, and then he did it again.