Can An Amritdhari Wed A Non Amritdhari?

[MisterrSingh]

It would be nice if both husband and wife were Gursikh, wouldn't it? I don't know, it would be a fresh start for both their lives, a new beginning, a new chapter. But I guess these things can't be forced as it kinda defeats the purpose of it all.

[singh598]

Technically if you follow the orthodox teachings then both should be amritdharee or not amritdharee

However as times have changed as a community we can accept if the boy is amritdharee and the girl is not

Many such marriage exist

[Guest Question]

This topic is interesting. I can totally see the reasons that people say only two amritdhari can get married. However, I wonder what the historical reason is for this. A lot of orthodox groups these days don't allow it, while Nihangs do. I'm wondering if waaay back in the days if this was a requirement. I know that the SGPC maryada (english) says one who is amrit dhari should get his wife amrit dhari and that the SGPC maryada was an attempt by tat khalsa to establish a consensus on maryada. However is there any puratan rehat maryada and explicitly says both need to be? Ie dont use th current SGPC one or the one soul two bodies analogy. Looking for a older rehat for this.

[stingers12]

Purantan maryada is damadmi taksal

[Akalifauj]

Can an amritdhari girl wed a non amritdhari guy in anand karaj? The guys kesdhari, just hasnt decided to take amrit yet, wants to progress with rehat before committing to amrit. Both the girl and guy and their families are happy with it.

Any potential issues?

Answer is no! Whenever secular-quasi religious fanatics want to discard something, they either blame AKJ or Tat Khalsa; its Tat Khalsa in this case so far (most likely they married a non amritdhari and now they are defending their wrong action). Be careful of these people, they are the dirtiest at heart, even more than those who commit mistakes and don't try to justify them. It is like asking can a Non amritdhari be part of the Punj Pyare? Secular-quasi religious fanatics will say no because the original Punj Pyare took Amrit. I agree, but the secular-quasi religious fanatics show their true colors when told women cannot be part of Punj Pyare and now they will spit on the reason they used to defend their first stance. They can't understand the depth of the Khalsa Panth. You took a step closer to Guru Sahib by taking Amrit and now why do you want to take a 1000 steps away from Guru Sahib? No doubt it happens more often today, but so does a lot of other things in the Amritdhari community, but this does not mean Guru Sahib approves of it. What is the rush to get married now? If you are committed to Guru Sahib and the guy is serious about Sikhi, both of you should have the patience to wait when he is ready to take amrit. The life of being a Sikh is the most important aspect of life. Guru Sahib is the breath of life and without his blessing no one can achieve the heights only destined for his beloved Sikhs. Those who find their strength from worldly attachments will surely tell you to go ahead and do the marriage as is. This shows a weakness in them and how much they are lacking Gurbani in their lives. Yet they put on this false image of having their life together. Trust me there are many dark corners behind that mask. 99% of the Sikhs of the world look for their main support from worldly affairs (occupation, children, friends, events, foods, spouse, bf,gf, etc). Take one of their main supports away and watch the depression come on in these people. Watch the drama take place before you eyes. You have a choice of either being part of the drama or watching it from the arms of Guru Sahib.

Listen to shabads from Gurbani, which speak on who is going to help you throughout this world. You will be able to gain the strength to make the correct decision through these Gurbani shabads.

[guruvah]

Purantan maryada is damadmi taksal

prove that with evidence, otherwise a statement is just a statement

[guruvah]

Its not a rule written on a stone that amritdhari cannot wed non amritdhari (if they are not ready yet) exceptions are made on case by case basis. All these rigid rules came with tat khalsa reformist movement. I have listened to recording divan of sant waryam singh ratwara sahib clearly mentioned few years ago(i will try to find that divan) it wasn't that extreme in the past couples were asked if they were both ready if singh alone said he was ready and quesiton was asked to singhani- if she was ready. if she responded-she wasn't ready for amrit- then simple discourse was given by panj pyares to bibi to be sehajdhari-japji sahib nitnem/basic rehit and full amrit was given to singh alone.

genuinely confused, who have no understanding on Khalsa Rehit Maryada.

how does one become a 'certified sehajdhari' ?

Can you prove, the concept of a Sehajdhari as per Gurbani even?

Khande ki Pahul is the only way one becomes a Sikh and adopts SGGS as SatGuru.

Also, it is safe to say the decision taken by the panj in your 'alledged' story above are not inline with Gurmat and Khalsa Rehit Maryada. No matter what and how you try to justify it.

[guruvah]

I am in no position to define what sehajdhari is or not, its up to the discretion for panj pyares, as i said earlier this topic is not black and white, its not one rule or another as it will be slippery slope precedence if it was strictly one wya or another, it was based on case by case basis by panj pyares, its up to discretion of panj pyares to decide to give or refuse amrit to singh or singhani if their other half is not ready yet. I shared panthic parcharikh have to say on this topic from historical perspective/logical perspective. I leave up to readers to research and decide for themselves.

• when you cannot give straight answer,you tend to use the path of AMBIGUITY
• your dera and the 'mahapurkhs' you choose to keep unconditional devotion in, cannot and do not have the right to define Khalsa Rehit Maryada based on "mere opinions". Evidence from solid sources needs to be there, otherwise...call the opinion AS opinion. And dont preach deviancy on a public domain sangat like this site. For if you are wrong in misleading others, you WILL incur sins too. (having observed u for 12 years, its not that you care tho)

[stingers12]

prove that with evidence, otherwise a statement is just a statement

Today many people have forgotten the above teachings and started to live outside the boundaries laid down by Gurmat, doing what they feel is right or wrong. Some Amritdharee Sikhs marry non-Amritdharees just for money but this is not acceptable, marriage should not be based upon desire for wealth or other worldy goods. A marriage is to be based on the same Dharam/Principles and qualities in both people.

According to Gurmat both the bride and bridegroom should be Amritdharee. The Kurmayee/Engagement should be a good deed and not involve taking money from your daughters/sisters. No form of dowry (gifts from the Brides family) should be given or accepted. Bhai Sahib Singh Jee writes in a Rehatnama:

ਕੰਨਿਆ ਦੇਵੈ ਸਿਖ ਕੋ ਲੇਵੈ ਨਹਿ ਕਿਛੁ ਦਾਮ ॥

ਸੋਈ ਮੇਰਾ ਸਿਖ ਹੈ ਪਹੁਚੇ ਗੁਰ ਕੇ ਧਾਮ ॥ ੨੫॥

"Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee says, the Sikh that marry’s his daughter to a Sikh,

and does not take any money, He is a true Sikh of mine and will reach my abode in Sachkand."Bhai Sahib Singh Rehatnama p.160

The bride and bridegroom should be Amritdharee, follow the Rehat, recite Nitnem and as much additional Gurbani as possible and have knowledge of Sikh history. Besides their Rehat, their principles, age, education, appearance and other qualities are to be taken into consideration.

Ideally, the bride should be about four years younger than the bridegroom. At the Kurmayee/engagement the bride’s family are to give the bridegroom a token of five Rupees (£, $ etc) and a Kirpan with a gatra. The groom’s family should give the bride a token gift of five Rupees (£, $ etc), a kangha and a kirpan with a Gatra.

At the time of the Kurmayee, the groom’s family should have the Bhog of a Sehaj Paath or Akhand Paath at the Kurmayee. After the Bhog, Karah Parsaad must be distributed and Kirtan sung. However, if for any reason, an Akand Paath or Sahej Paath cannot be performed, then the Kurmayee must be conducted in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib.

http://www.damdamitaksaal.org/code-of-conduct#h9-wedding-ceremony-anand-sanskar-fourth-ceremony

[Akalifauj]

<p>

• when you cannot give straight answer,you tend to use the path of AMBIGUITY
• your dera and the 'mahapurkhs' you choose to keep unconditional devotion in, cannot and do not have the right to define Khalsa Rehit Maryada based on "mere opinions". Evidence from solid sources needs to be there, otherwise...call the opinion AS opinion. And dont preach deviancy on a public domain sangat like this site. For if you are wrong in misleading others, you WILL incur sins too. (having observed u for 12 years, its not that you care tho)

I second this