Female, Amritdharee, Confused And In Need Of Great Help!

[confused10 2]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji K Fateh

I am a young, 19 year old amritdharee female. I am born and raised in a typical punjabi family, however, we all do paath and are well into learning about Sikhi. I am the only daughter in the family, I used to be the girl who was into her, makeup, hair styling(i've never cut my hair) and basically all the usual girly stuff a typical girl is interested in. From a young age I have been attending gurdwara, sikhi classes and doing kirtan on the vaja. In 2013, we had our annual dastar day, where I tied the dastar for the first time and I fell in love with it. When I told my parents that I was considering wearing the dastar full time, they weren't against the idea (both my brothers have worn a keski since birth but aren't amritdharee) but objected by saying it was just a phase I was going through and I would change my mind. I few months later, in January 2014, we had a jatha come for a week and on the last day they were holding an amrit sanchar. During the second last divan, something in what they were saying me touched me so much that, almost 12 hours before the amrit sanchar I decided to take amrit. I am someone who never in my life even considered the idea of taking amrit but I don't know why, but I just felt that I was ready and had to take the leap of faith. I felt sitting in the darbar sahib that night, it was either take it now or never. So next day, I take amrit. I AM THE ONLY AMRITDHAREE IN MY FAMILY AND EXTENDED FAMILY.

Now almost year and a half on, I do my paath (timing is an issue - but something that can be worked on), follow my rehat, wear a dastar etc. The first full year, I was convinced fully, and also told others who asked me, that me taking amrit suddenly was the best decision ever and I would never look back, I feel so blessed to be on this path. HOWEVER, for the past few months my confidence has shattered. I can't stop my mind from falling weak to think that maybe I have made a quick decision- one which perhaps I should have thought about more carefully. I do my paath - I love doing paath, kirtan... I wouldn't be able to live without it... sikhi is my identity and one I'm so proud to be a part of BUT! My appearance.... I love my dastar but for the past few months I really miss the old me... the girl who was free spirited, carefree, girly,.. I MISS MY HAIR.. I MISS LETTING IT DOWN .. I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY HAIR!!! (I've never touched alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and I'm a strict vegetarian and have never entered a club apart from wedding functions with my family). I feel so weak when I say that I go to bed crying most nights these days because I feel so guilty that Mahraj knows what I'm wishing for.... to be free. I see other girls who are like the old me, who like to dance, wear makeup, style their hair etc but still keep intact with their sikhi, do their paath, learn about their dharam etc but aren't amrithdaree... I wish I took time to think about it and maybe today I wouldn't be sitting here crying whilst typing this up.

My family and friends and my community are so proud of me for the step I took a year and a half ago but what do I do now??? I literally feel that I have no one to pour my heart out to that would understand what I am going through.... I talk to Mahraj about this but I feel like I'm trapped... no matter what I do I'll only bring badness... If i continue the way I am, I'll never be a good gursikh, and if i go back to the old me, I'll dishonour and bring shame to my family- HOW WOULD I FACE THE WORLD... I have never done anything wrong up till date and don't intend to. But when I look at my family, my sisters, my cousins, I see the old me in them- The happy me!

I really need someone to advise me, I can no longer sit here with all this bottled inside me... I don't want to be depressed any more... PLEASE someone help me!

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji K Fateh!

[Singh97 81]

VJKK VJKF

I don't know how well I can help but my past is somewhat similar - I'm from a family of non-practising Sikhs (who are slowly getting into things).

From personal experience I can say that because you did have a past that was a lot different, you will go through moments where you begin to miss your old life. It's maya trying to pull you back. Best you can do is do ardas daily to maharaj asking for more and more love for them. Every time you do ardas just beg them to help you develop more love. The previous lives that a lot of us had may look nice on the outside but they are only going to destroy us in the end. The goal of our life is to meet Waheguru and nothing else. Never let your mind fall into maya and forget that goal.

Once you start climbing the ladder spiritually, you'll start to experience things that bring you more sukh than your older days ever brought.

But to work on ourselves spiritually - we must step up the amount of simran we do or we will fall into dukh and doubts.

Start watching katha as well or do anything that would help increase your love for maharaj.

Personally I enjoy two things - watching mysimran.info katha and basics of sikh shabad hazare katha

So basically all I'm getting at is find what sparks your love for maharaj and do it a lot. Spend lots of time in sangat and most importantly do as much simran as possible (specifically saas giras simran) and make sure you clear your mind from thoughts + focus on the sound of your voice.

ਆਸਾ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
आसा महला ५ ॥
Āsā mėhlā 5.
Aasaa, Fifth Mehl:

ਭਈ ਪਰਾਪਤਿ ਮਾਨੁਖ ਦੇਹੁਰੀਆ ॥
भई परापति मानुख देहुरीआ ॥
Bẖa▫ī parāpaṯ mānukẖ ḏehurī▫ā.
This human body has been given to you.

ਗੋਬਿੰਦ ਮਿਲਣ ਕੀ ਇਹ ਤੇਰੀ ਬਰੀਆ ॥
गोबिंद मिलण की इह तेरी बरीआ ॥
Gobinḏ milaṇ kī ih ṯerī barī▫ā.
This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe.

ਅਵਰਿ ਕਾਜ ਤੇਰੈ ਕਿਤੈ ਨ ਕਾਮ ॥
अवरि काज तेरै कितै न काम ॥
Avar kāj ṯerai kiṯai na kām.
Nothing else will work.

ਮਿਲੁ ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਭਜੁ ਕੇਵਲ ਨਾਮ ॥੧॥
मिलु साधसंगति भजु केवल नाम ॥१॥
Mil sāḏẖsangaṯ bẖaj keval nām. ||1||
Join the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; vibrate and meditate on the Jewel of the Naam. ||1||

[Guest gupthelp]

Bhenji,

First, Amrit is a privilege, greatest honour, you have no idea how Lucky you are! Take my word for it After few years, when you will look back, you will know what I am saying.

Anyways, this same thing happened to me when I suddenly decided to take amrit. After a while, I was shipwreck, tons of problems, then came the stage of questioning my decisions, since I didn't talk to anyone about my problem, I got weaker and weaker and I gave up Amrit, thinking it wasnt a thing for me, or I got amrit too early. Such talk, such assumptions, such stupid decisions, they were the biggest mistakes of my life. This urge to get back to your old self, trust me it will also fade away once you give up amrit. after 3 year of gap, I found that world was also without happiness, so I got back to Sikhi, now, it has been 5 years and I am very happy, but waiting for Shudayee/Re-amrit - feeling so guilty that I should have tried a little harder. I also should have read Gurbani all day, listen to Katha, the main source of your spiritual power. If I had stay connected with Guru and Gurbani, I wouldn't have gone through all that.

You should Watch Nihung, Sikh history related documentaries, get inspired, I can see your heart wants to be inspired.

Bhenji get stronger, you are a Warrior daughter of our Guru! This "munn" is a battlefield, you use sword of wisdom to cut into two these urges, the ones that makes you weak. Remember, observe, that glamourous world, people are very unhappy in that world, the world you want. Guru Sahib teaches to how to be happy when you have little resources.

Don't make the same mistake I did, talk to Gursikhs on forums such as this one, Listen KAtha. Check www.gurmatveechar.com for Katha,.

Ask for help from Waheguru. - start Katha today, you will be okay!

[Questioner 232]

Bhenji, if you went back to the old appearance you'd quickly realise that it's empty. I've been there - I've missed my "freedom", half gone back to it before realising it was an empty pursuit and thinking, is THIS what I wanted? Is this ALL? The mind will do that to you, seeing a world full of appearance obsessed people will do that to you.

[Guest k1988]

Please my dear daughter don't look back, do ardass to Guru ji.....keep saying to Guru ji, save your daughter pita ji and Mata sahib kaur ji. Your blessed soul. That's why u made quick decision. That was the call from guru ji. You did not make any mistake. I am getting late to sleep. Talk more tomorrow. Gurufateh

[simran345 2,500]

U need to communicate with amritdhari girls of ur age, then u can share ur experience with them.

Don't think Guruji are not listening, they are hearing u, but u have to ask urself why are u missing the old u. It's probably because u now feel alone and different. Don't focus on being perfect or so strict with urself. U are free but somehow u are putting barriers in front of ur soul that it is feeling u have distanced urself from the world. It's not easy being around friends when they only talk abt makeup etc, u feel jealous and left out. It's only a cover,the real beauty is within.

But why? Break down the barriers first and start loving yourself and see yourself in a different light.

Gud luck.

[ms514 424]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Agreed with the above - Sangat is very important. First question to ask yourself is what type of Sangat you are keeping. if they are not maintaining a similar level of rehat or higher than you, then you may not have Sangat of Gursikhs who can inspire you upwards and may be dragging you downwards. While outer Rehat is important, understand that Gurbani itself is a Rehat - it advises you to fix your life and walk the narrow path that is Gursikhi inwards and outwards. If you believe that dancing is premitted in Sikhi, please read Gurbani and see what is said about dancing. If you think makeup is ok for Sikhi, think about for who you are applying makeup (look up Gurbani verses related to shingaar and you will get your answer).

Bhenji, you need to get better Sangat and understand the beauty of Sikhi. You reference point is with other girls who may not be the best examples of Gursikhs. This is not my statement, this is what Gurbani says. If you can read one Shabad from Gurbani to test this, read "Gur Satgur Ka Jo Sikh Akhayiae" - which explains that the duty of a Sikh is to be attached to the Guru at all times and not waste a single breath away without contemplating the Almighty. Nobody is expecting perfection and the embodiment of Gurbani is days from any Gursikh - but the Sikh's job is to try and move forward, not take examples from others who could possibly drag you down. You must ask yourself why you are not getting the satisfaction that Gurbani describes will make all other pleasures feel faded and inferior to the Anand of Simran and Gurbani paath/keertan. If they are giving to this Anand, then ask why you are looking at those who may not be experiencing the same. Do Sangat of those who feel the same and are trying to excel to the higher spiritual stages.

[SadSingh 169]

Sawaal Bhai Daya Singh

Sawaal Bhai Daya Singh

listen to this bhenji if what maharaj went through it will lift your spirit

[confused10 2]

U need to communicate with amritdhari girls of ur age, then u can share ur experience with them.

Don't think Guruji are not listening, they are hearing u, but u have to ask urself why are u missing the old u. It's probably because u now feel alone and different. Don't focus on being perfect or so strict with urself. U are free but somehow u are putting barriers in front of ur soul that it is feeling u have distanced urself from the world. It's not easy being around friends when they only talk abt makeup etc, u feel jealous and left out. It's only a cover,the real beauty is within.

But why? Break down the barriers first and start loving yourself and see yourself in a different light.

Gud luck.

Bhenji, if you went back to the old appearance you'd quickly realise that it's empty. I've been there - I've missed my "freedom", half gone back to it before realising it was an empty pursuit and thinking, is THIS what I wanted? Is this ALL? The mind will do that to you, seeing a world full of appearance obsessed people will do that to you.

VJKK VJKF

I don't know how well I can help but my past is somewhat similar - I'm from a family of non-practising Sikhs (who are slowly getting into things).

From personal experience I can say that because you did have a past that was a lot different, you will go through moments where you begin to miss your old life. It's maya trying to pull you back. Best you can do is do ardas daily to maharaj asking for more and more love for them. Every time you do ardas just beg them to help you develop more love. The previous lives that a lot of us had may look nice on the outside but they are only going to destroy us in the end. The goal of our life is to meet Waheguru and nothing else. Never let your mind fall into maya and forget that goal.

Once you start climbing the ladder spiritually, you'll start to experience things that bring you more sukh than your older days ever brought.

But to work on ourselves spiritually - we must step up the amount of simran we do or we will fall into dukh and doubts.

Start watching katha as well or do anything that would help increase your love for maharaj.

Personally I enjoy two things - watching mysimran.info katha and basics of sikh shabad hazare katha

So basically all I'm getting at is find what sparks your love for maharaj and do it a lot. Spend lots of time in sangat and most importantly do as much simran as possible (specifically saas giras simran) and make sure you clear your mind from thoughts + focus on the sound of your voice.

ਆਸਾ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥

आसा महला ५ ॥

Āsā mėhlā 5.

Aasaa, Fifth Mehl:

ਭਈ ਪਰਾਪਤਿ ਮਾਨੁਖ ਦੇਹੁਰੀਆ ॥

भई परापति मानुख देहुरीआ ॥

Bẖa▫ī parāpaṯ mānukẖ ḏehurī▫ā.

This human body has been given to you.

ਗੋਬਿੰਦ ਮਿਲਣ ਕੀ ਇਹ ਤੇਰੀ ਬਰੀਆ ॥

गोबिंद मिलण की इह तेरी बरीआ ॥

Gobinḏ milaṇ kī ih ṯerī barī▫ā.

This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe.

ਅਵਰਿ ਕਾਜ ਤੇਰੈ ਕਿਤੈ ਨ ਕਾਮ ॥

अवरि काज तेरै कितै न काम ॥

Avar kāj ṯerai kiṯai na kām.

Nothing else will work.

ਮਿਲੁ ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਭਜੁ ਕੇਵਲ ਨਾਮ ॥੧॥

मिलु साधसंगति भजु केवल नाम ॥१॥

Mil sāḏẖsangaṯ bẖaj keval nām. ||1||

Join the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; vibrate and meditate on the Jewel of the Naam. ||1||

Waheguru ji Ka khasla waheguru ji k fateh

thank you for your replies... it means a lot to me that there are people out there who will take their time out to help a total stranger!

I agree with everything you three have said, and from day one I always kept it in my head that its not going to be an easy path but a tough one... i always knew that... I do simran almost everyday... if not do, I atleast listen to it through out the day every day,.. this is the one and only thing I ask mahraj everyday day, morning and night in my ardaas to help me, increase that love and help me to keep myself strong.. i have faith in mahraj and I probably know that He is testing me but what does someone falling weak and short of hope in themselves do? I feel so crappy that i don't have that strength to look positive with my apperance amongst all those girls who are like the old me? Don't get me wrong,. i always loved my dastar, do love my dastar and always will love wearing it and am so proud to be a girl who can walk with her head held high wearing one... but my confidence is breaking ... why?

[confused10 2]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Agreed with the above - Sangat is very important. First question to ask yourself is what type of Sangat you are keeping. if they are not maintaining a similar level of rehat or higher than you, then you may not have Sangat of Gursikhs who can inspire you upwards and may be dragging you downwards. While outer Rehat is important, understand that Gurbani itself is a Rehat - it advises you to fix your life and walk the narrow path that is Gursikhi inwards and outwards. If you believe that dancing is premitted in Sikhi, please read Gurbani and see what is said about dancing. If you think makeup is ok for Sikhi, think about for who you are applying makeup (look up Gurbani verses related to shingaar and you will get your answer).

Bhenji, you need to get better Sangat and understand the beauty of Sikhi. You reference point is with other girls who may not be the best examples of Gursikhs. This is not my statement, this is what Gurbani says. If you can read one Shabad from Gurbani to test this, read "Gur Satgur Ka Jo Sikh Akhayiae" - which explains that the duty of a Sikh is to be attached to the Guru at all times and not waste a single breath away without contemplating the Almighty. Nobody is expecting perfection and the embodiment of Gurbani is days from any Gursikh - but the Sikh's job is to try and move forward, not take examples from others who could possibly drag you down. You must ask yourself why you are not getting the satisfaction that Gurbani describes will make all other pleasures feel faded and inferior to the Anand of Simran and Gurbani paath/keertan. If they are giving to this Anand, then ask why you are looking at those who may not be experiencing the same. Do Sangat of those who feel the same and are trying to excel to the higher spiritual stages.

Gurfateh ji!

Thanks for your reply... I don't think its always about the sangat....I hang around with the right sangat,... I have never been associated with anyone who does wrong things including drinking, smoking etc... everyone I mingle with are either amrithdharees or people from well respected families who practice sikhi but arent amritdharee ( they are living the best of both worlds without doing wrong things- if that makes sense)... Again, like i mentioned before, the society of sikhs i live in is very small... everyone can admit that the world we live in today, half the amritdharees, who claim to have higher mentality than a low selfish person like me and claim to be good role models, aren't... which clearly goes to explain why I have turned to the internet, to express myself.... I know that anyone or any amritdharee i talk to here will do nothing but judge me and look down on me rather than give me true advise....

in connection to dancing, i personally don't feel its wrong- yes I have read the gurbani line related to it but when i talk about dancing i don't mean, dancing in clubs, amongst boys, or any of the negative stuff people automaically associate it with,.. what i mean is that, when you are brought up in a family where there is not only religion but also culture you should be able to adapt- when t talk about dancing i mean enjoying amongst family... not getting drunk etc and making a fool of oneself..

talking about makeup.... what about those who aren't confident with their appearance? I for one amen't ... I have a lot of insecurities ... we live in a cruel world and everyone is different.. we all have different ways of dealing with a situation....

With all honesty, hand on heart... i want to stay in the path I have chosen, and that is guru ji's path.. but i'm scared of going ahead and making a massive mistake that i may regret... i'm scared of upsetting guru ji... i'm scared of disappointing my older brothers and sisters, who are proud of the decision ive taken.... i'm scared of becominh a bad person

[sat 541]

its a test it has happened to many of us my self included, ardas is the key and never ever stop your nitnem and naam abhias

Even the sons of Guru Gobind Singh ji were tested and they made the ultimate sacrifice so who are we, it will pass keep doing ardas.

Do Sangat of other Singhnia and go to smagams , when I feel low I go to my brothers (Singhs ) and Guru ji at the Gurdwara.

if your local Gurdwara has naam simran on a particular morning as ours does every Saturday at amrit vela we do 5 bani nitnem and then naam simran/ kirtan for an hour and its amazing keeps one going all week but one should do it every day anyway on an individual basis too.

Your are a Singhni now daughter of Guru Gobind Singh ji and Mata Sahib Kaur ji all happiness is at our Guru jis feet .

The world has nothing to offer us now that can compare with the love of our Guru sahib ji and the sacrifices he made for us.

[TuhadaDaas 90]

It is not YOUR hair, it is not YOUR head, it belongs to Guroo! Do you not think that mothers of children butchered by meer mannu loved them? Those children that were cut apart piece by piece and made into necklaces for the mothers to wear. Do you not think their mothers loved gazing at them, adorning them and loving them? Yes they did, but they realised that they belonged to Guroo and they were not theirs to keep. Even Guru Gobind Singh Ji sacrificed his chaar sahibzade for the sake of this panth and rehat.

If you turn your back on Guru by doing this ku-karam (horrible, corrupt action), everything in your life will fall apart. What makes you so sure that this beauty of your hair that you take so much pride in will not be snatched from you? Imagine you take off your dastar and you get cancer so undergo chemo- not only will you be diseased and lost that hair that you take pride in but you will also have turned your back on Guru. How will you feel at that moment when you realise that you may as well have just kept your dastar on?

Do not allow even one bit of fire into your house - just one spark can spread and cause your whole house to burn down. Similarily, if you allow one bit of maya into your jeevan, i.e. remove your dastar- do not think you can control maya. It will spread and make you compromise more and more. Don't think that your bani, keertan and amritvela will survive after doing such a thing. Before you know it you will have removed your hair. Be Alert!

Guru Sahib's nadar (glance of grace) that is received from following rehat saves us from many dreadful affects of past karma such as illness, accidents, etc. These things may very well destroy the beautiful appearance that you are so obsessed with having. Do not put yourself at such risk by becoming a nigura by refusing Guru Sahib's rehat.

Read the below from gurmatbibek.com:

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Bhai Jagtar Singh jee once said something along the lines that before punishing, Vaheguru takes away the gunns from the individual. So if you see yourself becoming weak in Rehit, Amritvela and Nitnem, become alert. Weakness in these areas is a sign of bad times coming.

Kulbir Singh

Also, be very wary of nadar upathi (below article is written by Bhai Kulbir Singh from gurmatbibek.com):

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Avoiding ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ at all cost

The 16th pauri of Siri Asa kee Vaar strikes me all the time. In this pauri is a pankiti as follows:

ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ ਜੇ ਕਰੇ ਸੁਲਤਾਨਾ ਘਾਹੁ ਕਰਾਇਦਾ ॥
ਦਰਿ ਮੰਗਨਿ ਭਿਖ ਨ ਪਾਇਦਾ ॥16॥

If Vaheguru does his glance ਉਪਠੀ i.e. if he glances at a king with the glance of displeasure, he can turn a king into a poor gardener. We hear Gurbani but we don’t really believe in what we hear. Gurbani in this pankiti tells how transient i.e. temporary this world and it’s possessions are. When a person is sitting on a position of power in this world, such person thinks as if this position is his forever. Such persons forget that before them, several have sat on such positions and after them countless will sit on this position. Why to be proud of such intangible worldly thing? Just during the last ten-fifteen years we have witnessed how kings were turned helpless.

Take an example of Nawaz Sharif. I am just amazed to see how truth is really stranger than fiction when I see his life. In the 1990s, he was the uncrowned king of Pakistan. His business was flourishing and he along with his brother had become the richest persons of Pakistan. To add to his fortune, he became the prime minister of Pakistan and his brother Shahbaz Sharif was the chief minister of the largest province of Pakistan – Punjab. They were at the top of the world. Then with one stroke, Musharaf took over the reins of Pakistan, overthrew Nawaz Sharif and arrested him. It took 6 months to break Nawaz Sharif. At first he stayed adamant when he was imprisoned but at the end of 5 months, he was going crazy staying in isolation. The king of Pakistan was confined to a small room in jail. He was reduced to a mere prisoner. He agreed to the terms of Musharaf and was exiled out of Pakistan. But look at the will of Vaheguru, he became a king coming from a humble background and then was reduced to a mere prisoner and exiled but recently has returned to Pakistan with much pomp and show. He returned and became responsible for overturning Musharaf. Today he is rising to the level of glory he had seen earlier. If you look at this, you realize how temporary and transient the worldly possessions are. You also realize how strong Vaheguru is. In a moment he can make a beggar a king and a king a beggar.

Take an example of Saddam Hussien. What a life he had. He rose from humble background and became an absolute monarch of Iraq. He was ruthless to Shias and Kurds and committed many atrocities. His sons, especially Udey was not only a spoiled kid but an atrocious criminal. It’s said that he assaulted numerous women when he could. Later he was confined to wheelchair as a result of an attempt to take his life. Saddam was overthrown by the Americans and when he was discovered hiding in a bunker, he was beyond recognition. No one could say that this was the royal Saddam the world had known. He was extremely untidy and had a very dishevelled look. But he kept his self respect and did not bow before his captives. Then we saw his proud end. The way he faced death would put many so called brave people to shame.

The thing I have been thinking is ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ. We should fear ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ. We should do such karma that we may never have to experience and face ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ. So long as Vaheguru jee keeps his gaze of grace on us, we don’t realize how fortunate we are. We only realize what we have lost when we have to face ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ. When this ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ occurs, then it’s very hard to turn this ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ into ਵਡ ਕਟਾਖ. So Bhai, one who forgets ਖੌਫੇ ਖੁਦਾ when in ਤੈਸ਼ and forgets ਯਾਦੇ ਖੁਦਾ when in ਐਸ਼, surely is inviting ਨਦਰਿ ਉਪਠੀ. Siri Guru Nanak Dev jee after the attack of Babur on India, wrote a very beautiful pankiti of Gurbani:

ਅਗੋ ਦੇ ਜੇ ਚੇਤੀਐ ਤਾਂ ਕਾਇਤੁ ਮਿਲੈ ਸਜਾਇ ॥
ਸਾਹਾਂ ਸੁਰਤਿ ਗਵਾਈਆ ਰੰਗਿ ਤਮਾਸੈ ਚਾਇ ॥
ਬਾਬਰਵਾਣੀ ਫਿਰਿ ਗਈ ਕੁਇਰੁ ਨ ਰੋਟੀ ਖਾਇ ॥5॥

Please take note of the first pankiti. It states that if we remember Vaheguru in advance, then why would we suffer punishment in his hands. So taking lead from this pankiti, may we engage in ਯਾਦੇ ਖੁਦਾ and always keep ਖੌਫੇ ਖੁਦਾ and this way avoid ਸਜਾਇ (punishment)

Kulbir Singh

[TuhadaDaas 90]

double post see above

[Akalifauj 900]

Gurfateh ji!

Thanks for your reply... I don't think its always about the sangat....I hang around with the right sangat,... I have never been associated with anyone who does wrong things including drinking, smoking etc... everyone I mingle with are either amrithdharees or people from well respected families who practice sikhi but arent amritdharee ( they are living the best of both worlds without doing wrong things- if that makes sense)

I am confused, how can they be living the best of both worlds? What is good about a world without Guru Sahib. Have you heard the analogy of having one foot in one boat and the other foot in another boat going in the opposite direction? I say, you still have bad sangat around you; the people you claim are living the best of both worlds. In fact these people only read Gurbani as a ritual and still hold on to their minds desires. Gurbani reshapes a person's whole thought process and desires are flipped upside down on their face. You felt those desires disappear when you had the desire of taking Amrit and when you took it. Since you have bad sangat and are holding on to your minds desires, you have driven away from the path of Sikhi. You are not at all free when you were so called living the best of both worlds? Instead you were bogged down with maya. And today you have gone into the same cycle of being bogged down by maya.

It's time to wake up from your deep sleep and see everything once again through the lens of Gurbani. It is great you don't drink alcohol or never have, but have you ever thought maybe the alcohol ignites the fire, which exist already in the body? The yogis tried to quiet the mind inner burning of krodh, moh, lobh, kaam, and ankhar by running to the jungles, but they failed miserably. That sangat, which is living the best of both world's is the alcoholic drink in your life. They take you away from Guru Sahib and into maya as alcohol makes a person lose his sense of Akal Purakh. All the dirty songs played at receptions surely effect your mind and surely in the wrong way. Gurbani says as a person steps in a room covered in black sooth, so does that black sooth stick to the person. Guru da Sikh don't adapt to maya cultures. They cut it out of their lives and seek the Guru's charan. You mention alcohol twice in two different post. Ask yourself, why does Guru Sahib say not to drink alcohol? People say it loosens them up and lets them have fun and be girly girls. I think you know what the right decision is, but you are not willing to make it because of your deep rooted attachment to maya. The reason, why you took amrit is because of your deep connection you made with Guru Sahib. Now make a decision, Guru Sahib or maya?

[Singh97 81]

Just hang in there - you'll get through this