Stuck In A Terrible Marriage

[Guest GuptKaur]

I don't think it's a sign of immaturity to seek people's guidance or opinions, Infact the opposite is true. It would be very childish to have a knee <banned word filter activated> reaction and oust him. There is many many things to think about with a divorce - not least of which is his family which is relying on this UK money to support them and his brothers family. I'm not heartless. Anyway I am stuck for the next few months, prison is unlikely I guess even with all my evidence, all I will do is make enemies of half of Birmingham. I had a nice life before this, hope that I would one day marry and have such a happy life with someone .... He hasn't spoken a word in days. I have his dinner on the table when he gets in, his clothes ready next to the shower and a jug of water next to the bed and he eats, showers and sleeps. Not a single word.

[Guest GuptKaur]

His friends wives know but they are all illegal. They stuck with him. Even one pushed me to get his visa sorted. Same ones who are always the first on the loudspeakers at rallies ! They all "shelter him" when I get "too much" (like when I found his dating profile and he ran away for two weeks). I can't exactly go flying around with all that info so I have to just kinda kept quiet. When bits come out, he's so fast to say I'm in need of mental health care and I'm this and that (infact once he told me he couldn't wait to go to Canada without me, I started crying and he told me I was psycho and why didn't I just go and wash the dishes - that story would be translated to everyone as me crying and whinging and not doing housework, he is very smart) .... I agreed once, I said I'll call an emergency team right away (calling his bluff) and he stopped me (obviously, because they will ask why I'm upset and it doesn't take a rocket scientist) .... But then he followed on to say how manipulative I was for saying I'd agree to call them!

[Guest GuptKaur]

His friends wives know but they are all illegal. They stuck with him. Even one pushed me to get his visa sorted. Same ones who are always the first on the loudspeakers at rallies ! They all "shelter him" when I get "too much" (like when I found his dating profile and he ran away for two weeks). I can't exactly go flying around with all that info so I have to just kinda kept quiet. When bits come out, he's so fast to say I'm in need of mental health care and I'm this and that (infact once he told me he couldn't wait to go to Canada without me, I started crying and he told me I was psycho and why didn't I just go and wash the dishes - that story would be translated to everyone as me crying and whinging and not doing housework, he is very smart) .... I agreed once, I said I'll call an emergency team right away (calling his bluff) and he stopped me (obviously, because they will ask why I'm upset and it doesn't take a rocket scientist) .... But then he followed on to say how manipulative I was for saying I'd agree to call them!

[MisterrSingh]

I don't think it's a sign of immaturity to seek people's guidance or opinions, Infact the opposite is true. It would be very childish to have a knee <banned word filter activated> reaction and oust him. There is many many things to think about with a divorce - not least of which is his family which is relying on this UK money to support them and his brothers family. I'm not heartless. Anyway I am stuck for the next few months, prison is unlikely I guess even with all my evidence, all I will do is make enemies of half of Birmingham. I had a nice life before this, hope that I would one day marry and have such a happy life with someone .... He hasn't spoken a word in days. I have his dinner on the table when he gets in, his clothes ready next to the shower and a jug of water next to the bed and he eats, showers and sleeps. Not a single word.

I wasn't referring to you, more so the people who encourage others to compromise when one side is beating the hell out of the other!

[Guest GuptKaur]

Aha sorry

Well u haven't cried anyway since he stopped speaking to me (same time I started this thread) . I know I'm waffling on but having some Sangat is just everything for me. I can't tell real life friends because I'm not out to do his nindiya, and the few who know have been compromised because they can't act because they know I'm pretty bound to defend my husband at the moment. You all are amazing - I actually feel some peace. Normally if I end up on the floor (sofas too small to sleep on!) I cry and cry but I feel so much better since posting here. Thankyou

[simran345]

Sister try not to cry, it's easier said than done, but keep strong. I haven't read ur posts properly yet but here's some shabads to help u ji

http://youtu.be/HBOXmjJZWiI

http://youtu.be/zSASouF4jyg

Have u considered staying at ur mothers house? What is stopping u from having a break? This way u get space from the problem and to be able to deal with it better.

[Questioner]

I realise divorce is not an easy option. At the least, you should know that I'm here if you want to talk, and I don't live far away from you either if you want a "confidential" friend.

[simran345]

Sister maybe u should make an account and contact Questioner sister so u can have somebody to talk to.

[Guest GuptKaut]

Questioner - thankyou I will make an account unless you wish to give a fake email here ? I will do it from the computer - thankyou

[Questioner]

Questioner - thankyou I will make an account unless you wish to give a fake email here ? I will do it from the computer - thankyou

Email here penji