Curious....

[Guest mostlycurious]

Hi! This is just a random post and I'll understand if it's rejected.

I am an American female and I met a Sikh guy about two years ago while I was out. He is Americanized...basically but he was born in India. Anyway, the night we met we ended up hooking up...sexually. Well, I ended up catching feelings for him. I have expressed myself to him many times or these "almost two years" and I have told him to be with me but he says it's never going to happen and that what We have is "just sex".

I get that, I'm not stupid to take his word and not believe it. The thing is, is that he was the first to mention love. He asked me "do you love me?" and of course I said yes, it's what I felt. I still feel that way.

The way that he is toward me during intercourse makes me feel like there is something there that he just can't express. I still tell him that I love him regardless if he feels the same. I can't help the way he makes me feel and I am one to express myself when I feel that deepness

I don't expect him to love me but I also wish that he would tell me if there is something there. I know his culture and family are a large part of him and his decisions. I would never expect him to compromise any of that. I respect him too much.

I guess my main question is....

Is he using me for sex? I don't feel like he is due to the way he is with me, as I mentioned above.

Also, I have a son from a previous relationship, which was a marriage. I'm sure that can have something to do with him being reluctant to have anything go on between us. He once told me he didn't want a relationship because he felt he would have to be responsible for my son and I. But no! I take care of myself and my son.

He is a few years younger than I am.

Also, I am half white And half Mexican....but he says that he's allowed to be with who he wants. He has a nephew that is half Mexican so I know he wasn't lying about that.

Maybe he really just isn't into me and it is sex....I could be over thinking both sides to my story. Or dilemma, rather.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

[Questioner]

He says that to him it's "just sex". He says that he couldn't be with you because of your son. If I heard this about any man, I could say unequivocally that he does NOT sound worth it.

[skaur8888]

I'm sorry but this man is using you and it has nothing to do with his culture or religion. You and your son deserve better please don't waste anymore time on him as plenty of decent men out there who will respect you & your son

[Guest selfdiscipline]

Your being used. Hes got u emotionally tied up. Ur worth more dont let anyone treat u like a bit of meat. Dont ever let it happen again. U deserve ur self respect. Its ur body, u r worth more , have dignity and respect urself. Seriously stay away from him as he will play games and keep messin with you. Your going to find it difficult so best to tell him straight, cut all ties, all contact dont meet him move on with your life. Seriously start loving urself dont stoop so low.

Also sounds like the guy is hiding u from his life. I wudnt b suprised if he is married. Dnt take no s ..h..i

.t

Come on! U can and deserve so much better in life. Be happy

[Guest up in the moutains]

if someone can not be real to you or truthful

then you should not waste your life

your life is precious

your are preciuos

and someone should honor that

and if you dont receive that honor

then you dont need that in your life

its been 2 years someone should by now give you a clear view of the future

if they dont

then something is wrong

i feel you should approach him and say lets clear things up

but make sure you meet in a public place

so he doesnt try to do anything else

and he has to talk

put him in a situation where he has to talk

and im not sure what believe you practice

but meditate

pray

every answer you want is inside

dont look for a soulmate

until you dont know your own soul

maybe thats why you came here

your soul brought you here

your true soulmate is inside

love yourself

all happiness comes from inside

FIND LOVE INSIDE YOU
ITS YOUR TRUE BEAUTY
YOUR SOUL

Waheguru

that experience of WOW that takes you from darkness into light

[Balkaar]

Why did you give over two years of your life to this man in the expectation that what you had could grow into something more, when he explicitly stated that this contingency was not possible?

Do not be mollified by his asking you whether or not you love him. That has nothing to do with a restless conscience on his part. Philanderers, or men who sleep around, enjoy knowing that the women whom they view with lust alone actually come to love them in return. It's all part of a blokeish ego trip.

[MisterrSingh]

Why did you give over two years of your life to this man in the expectation that what you had could grow into something more, when he explicitly stated that this contingency was not possible?

Kaam. It's dangerous stuff.

The guy sounds like a complete tool BTW.

[singhbj singh]

Advice for Love Addict & Love Avoidant

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-lies-trauma/201506/love-avoidance-dance-partner-love-addiction

[S4NGH]

Argh that is so sad. From the sounds of things, it seems asthough this indo-american fella is using you for, as he said, "just sex".

Foolish of you to spend a whole TWO YEARS (!!!) waiting for him to develop love/feelings for you. Save yourself the pain darling, dump his a**