Diary Of Sikh Woman: Why I Cannot Get Married

[Questioner]

It may seem worth it, but it won't be. If you stop walking in the will of Guru Sahib for something else, that thing can never be fruitful. The call is to give up your clever ways and completely leave your life at the feet of the Guru - whatever will be will be, pehila maran kabool jeevan kee shad aas. I know this is a hard pill to swallow for those of us who have are own desires like marriage, but in the end what we want is subordinated to what Maharaj wants for us...

I'm saying this a sister who expects the same thing that you're going through. And you have every right to be angry at the "Sikh" men about their hypocrisy, but the way I see it is I wouldn't want to be with anything less than a Gursikh anyway (eg. one who lives and breathes Gurmat - not just one who looks the part - andarau choote paij baahur duniya andhar fail).

[k1968]

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh Guru Roop Sadh Sangat ji,

Bhain ji Sikhi is not easy path, we sacrifice everyday to stay on sikhi path. Do not sell sikhi to get husband. If you do that, try to come back again after your marriage, you wont achieve anything, you will regret. Saying from my personal experience. if you cannot find singh who will accept you in sikhi saroop,

Guru fateh ji

[singhbj singh]

I want to get married. It's important for multi factorial reasons including passing on sikhi.

My parents have tried and so have I - it's always the same that I should remove my hair.

Did your parents or you try

http://akj.org/skins/one/matrimonial.php

There are guys who are genuine Singhs

https://www.facebook.com/khalsacouples/photos/pb.792613514098506.-2207520000.1412428378./808743542485503/?type=3&theater

It's none of my business but I think you should marry an Indian.

Reason, in one & a half decade of Sikhsangat there has been no success story.

That means all are Pappu's or non-serious candidates.

[Guest Sikh woman]

Did your parents or you tryhttp://akj.org/skins/one/matrimonial.php

There are guys who are genuine Singhshttps://www.facebook.com/khalsacouples/photos/pb.792613514098506.-2207520000.1412428378./808743542485503/?type=3&theater

It's none of my business but I think you should marry an Indian.

Reason, in one & a half decade of Sikhsangat there has been no success story.

That means all are Pappu's or non-serious candidates.

I have decided that I am going to cut my hair so that I can get married. I just want all you turban wearing bearded men to know that you are hypocrites.

In summer 2013 my family went to India and they could not find anyone suitable there. If you are convinced you can find someone for me then please do. The truth is that Sikh men don't know why they keep hair. If they were keeping their hair for Sikh reasons - to accept humans in their natural form then every Sikh family would insist that their wife's, daughters kept hair. Many Sikh families insist that sons should keep hair but not their daughters. In my opinion Sikhs have lost their understanding and are just keeping beard and head hair for 'social cultural identity' reasons but not he sikh reason that you accept humans as they are made. In case you didn't realize we are all born Sikhs and then we change ourselves.

So after 30 years of never cutting, removing, waxing, threading - I will remove the hair. This reminds me of how people go and buy animal skin. The leather has hair on it and nobody wants the leather with hair on it so the hair is pulled out of the leather skin and it is then the most liked and best leather skin because it was never altered or destroyed with hair removal in the first place. I am now like this leather skin - a commodity that is only good enough if I remove my hair and pretend that I don't grow hair. Once I remove my hair the irony is that there will be no problem with finding a hair keeping turban wearing bearded Sikh man.

[Guest Gupt]

Which country are you from, UK? If yes which area?

[Sati2015]

Which country are you from? UK?

[MisterrSingh]

You'll regret it, sister. When the metaphorical honeymoon period is over; when you become accustomed to the drudgery and routine of domesticity, you'll look at your husband and think, "I cut my kesh for THIS?"

[Singhni MiriPiri]

I have decided that I am going to cut my hair so that I can get married. I just want all you turban wearing bearded men to know that you are hypocrites.

In summer 2013 my family went to India and they could not find anyone suitable there. If you are convinced you can find someone for me then please do. The truth is that Sikh men don't know why they keep hair. If they were keeping their hair for Sikh reasons - to accept humans in their natural form then every Sikh family would insist that their wife's, daughters kept hair. Many Sikh families insist that sons should keep hair but not their daughters. In my opinion Sikhs have lost their understanding and are just keeping beard and head hair for 'social cultural identity' reasons but not he sikh reason that you accept humans as they are made. In case you didn't realize we are all born Sikhs and then we change ourselves.

So after 30 years of never cutting, removing, waxing, threading - I will remove the hair. This reminds me of how people go and buy animal skin. The leather has hair on it and nobody wants the leather with hair on it so the hair is pulled out of the leather skin and it is then the most liked and best leather skin because it was never altered or destroyed with hair removal in the first place. I am now like this leather skin - a commodity that is only good enough if I remove my hair and pretend that I don't grow hair. Once I remove my hair the irony is that there will be no problem with finding a hair keeping turban wearing bearded Sikh man.

I sympathise with your situation and I know there are a lot of hypocritical singhs out there but I just can’t understand why you would want to change yourself to please them? And it would seem hypocritical for yourself to pass on sikhi values to your child if you remove your hair because you gave up and didn’t hold onto your sikhi values and beliefs. Personally, I would rather live a single life than to ruin my life by marrying a horrible person. You would have to live with this person for the rest of your life and not only that, you would end up associating yourself with this kind of person again in your next life because you built karma with them. I think you would be better of adopting a child because not only can you hold onto and pass on sikhi values to the child but you will give love to a child that does not already have a parent.

[Guest Sikh woman]

Which country are you from?

Which country are you from? UK?

Which country are you from, UK? If yes which area?

Which country are you from? UK?

I am from England.

[Guest Sikh Woman]

I sympathise with your situation and I know there are a lot of hypocritical singhs out there but I just cant understand why you would want to change yourself to please them?

I agree with you but I am not going to change my beliefs. I will always keep my hair again - this is temporary.

And it would seem hypocritical for yourself to pass on sikhi values to your child if you remove your hair because you gave up and didnt hold onto your sikhi values and beliefs.

It's temporary - I will keep my hair so the child will have a role model.

Personally, I would rather live a single life than to ruin my life by marrying a horrible person. You would have to live with this person for the rest of your life and not only that, you would end up associating yourself with this kind of person again in your next life because you built karma with them.

I might be able to make him a real Singh as I would only marry someone who has a turban and beard so technically there should be 'less' education or teaching to give him about why Sikhs keep hair and why he is keeping his hair. Maybe I can get him to see the light.

I think you would be better of adopting a child because not only can you hold onto and pass on sikhi values to the child but you will give love to a child that does not already have a parent.

I used to think like you too that I could do life alone but when you reach 30 you realize that it is not possible to be single. I could never be able to look after a child if I was single as I would not have the ability to provide what I want on my own.