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Diary Of Sikh Woman: Why I Cannot Get Married


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The Guru said all human beings should keep all bodily hair. In the rehat maryada - the sikh code of conduct it is forbidden to remove hair from your body. All Sikh rules are applied equally to both genders. There is not a different rule for a man or a woman.

I have explained it at a lot of length in this 6 page thread but the reason people struggle to accept this is because we have all falsely conditioned ourselves to believe that females do not grow facial hair (upper lip hair, side burns, chin hair). Some females will even deny that they have facial hair and will secretly remove it. The truth is that all women across all the different human races grow facial hair - just look at the youtube videos!

I would like to ask you this - why should a man keep his hair? It is for the same reason that a man keeps it that a woman keeps it.

Can we say that Pavlov's experiment also be applied to you? Can we say that you too have been conditioned to believe keeping facial hair is normal and natural? Would you be thinking this way if you were brought up by liberal Sikhs or Buddhists, Christians...etc, etc? Think about it. You too have been conditioned to think in a certain way.

Regarding men keeping hair, I've already answered it in other posts.

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Show me otherwise

Show me where is it written that Sikhs should carry a Kirpaan. Show me where it specifies what size/material/colour it should be.

Show me where it is written that a Sikh should keep a kachera. Show me what colour and length and material and design it should be.

Show me were exactly. ....

Do you know understand the ridiculousness of your point, or do you require further explanation?

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Show me where is it written that Sikhs should carry a Kirpaan. Show me where it specifies what size/material/colour it should be.

Show me where it is written that a Sikh should keep a kachera. Show me what colour and length and material and design it should be.

Show me were exactly. ....

Do you know understand the ridiculousness of your point, or do you require further explanation?

If I'm not mistaken they are mentioned in Sakhias.

Do you also believe a woman donning a full beard and turban like a man is ridiculous? Be brutally honest, would you marry a woman with a beard?

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If I'm not mistaken they are mentioned in Sakhias.

Do you also believe a woman donning a full beard and turban like a man is ridiculous? Be brutally honest, would you marry a woman with a beard?

Before I address the question, do you think that this is a free pass not to obey the Guru's hukam i.e cut your hair.

As far as your question goes, I know and have met bibia who have facial hair, who i have enormous respect for (and by the way, some of the ARE married ). As such, I find your question offensive, and will not dignify it with a response.

Just to add, I'd the colour of the kachera and kirpan also mentioned in the sakhiaa? If so, which ones? Please provide complete quotes.

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Before I address the question, do you think that this is a free pass not to obey the Guru's hukam i.e cut your hair.

As far as your question goes, I know and have met bibia who have facial hair, who i have enormous respect for (and by the way, some of the ARE married ). As such, I find your question offensive, and will not dignify it with a response.

Just to add, I'd the colour of the kachera and kirpan also mentioned in the sakhiaa? If so, which ones? Please provide complete quotes.

I also find your post extremely 'offensive' thus will not dignify with a response as well. :stupidme:

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She has a disease called PCOS that has caused that to happen to her so please stop making out that every woman who keeps hair on their face will look like that. There is a spectrum of hair length, quality and type in the human species. Its a gaussian distribution curve. Just like men grow different beard sizes and shapes. Not only that some of my oriental friends do not grow beards, some of my Tibetan girl friends don't grow arm hair. The gene pool is varied and we cannot be rude to people because they are on the edge of that. But its not even about some people having more and some people having less - at the moment there is a hair phobia culture where we expect every tiny bit of hair to be removed off a female face.

It has gorton to the extent that any hair on a face automatically means that person is ugly. For instance this girl is beautiful and instead of seeing that all you can see is her hair - have you looked at her and seen her facial features and her eyes? Now thats what I call beauty without the need for plastic surgery. Do you know how many girls would want to have what she has naturally? I would 120% marry her. If she ever has babies they are going to be very pretty. I have vast amounts of respect for her because there are girls out there with 'normal' female facial hair who remove it and here we have someone who has a disease and decided to keep it.

This negativity to variance is no on. We can apply it to other things e.g. height - midget/dwarf. Should we automatically expect all dwarfs to have leg lengthening operations. Would you want to do this. I think its wrong that we are constantly trying to make everyone 'fit' an average when actually the way you are is best for you. All humans are better off being who they are in their natural state.

The point however that I am making is not about people with different distributions with some having more and others having less. What I am saying is that we live in a society where normal amount of female hair e.g. upper lip is considered abnormal. I fundamentally believe we have a hair phobia culture.

@Barfi

I believe the requirement for keeping a turban, beard...etc, etc is for creating a Sikh identity and eradication of inequality

Kesh ie hair is part of the 5 kakkars. The 5 kakkars are considered to be an 'ang' or limb of your body and must never be removed. Therefore kesh should not be removed because it is who you are naturally as a human being. Let me ask you this - would you remove the hair off your eyelashes. Would you physically sit there and pull out every single eyelash hair because everyone in society is doing it and they are looking at you as if you are abnormal for having long eyelash hair. Of course some people (indians) have longer eye lash hair compared to others (caucasians). But would you remove your eyebrow hair. imagine every time you did it - it hurt, you cried, you got redness, you got blisters and the pain was immense. Not only that - the next month it grew back again. Females across the world who have normal amounts of female facial hair spend money and time on doing exactly this when they remove their facial and bodily hair.

The Kesh is not for creating an identity because then we could wear turbans with our hair cut short. Also hair came first. Our hair is what gives us our identity not our turbans. We sikhs are humans that keep themselves as they are born and are proud of it. Also sikh woman keep their hair uncut under a chunni so it cannot be identity. In conclusion the hair is what gives us our identity - not the other way around.

The eradication of inequality has nothing to do with hair keeping. Inequality is to do with lack of opportunities. The reason sikhs keep their hair is because the 5 kakkars are you and you do not remove them. And woman need to keep facial hair - you wouldn't pluck out the hair on your eyelashes so why are you doing this to your face?

I am busy and cannot reply anymore so please ask the sangat the rest of your questions. Thanks.

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She has a disease called PCOS that has caused that to happen to her so please stop making out that every woman who keeps hair on their face will look like that. There is a spectrum of hair length, quality and type in the human species. Its a gaussian distribution curve. Just like men grow different beard sizes and shapes. Not only that some of my oriental friends do not grow beards, some of my Tibetan girl friends don't grow arm hair. The gene pool is varied and we cannot be rude to people because they are on the edge of that. But its not even about some people having more and some people having less - at the moment there is a hair phobia culture where we expect every tiny bit of hair to be removed off a female face.

It has gorton to the extent that any hair on a face automatically means that person is ugly. For instance this girl is beautiful and instead of seeing that all you can see is her hair - have you looked at her and seen her facial features and her eyes? Now thats what I call beauty without the need for plastic surgery. Do you know how many girls would want to have what she has naturally? I would 120% marry her. If she ever has babies they are going to be very pretty. I have vast amounts of respect for her because there are girls out there with 'normal' female facial hair who remove it and here we have someone who has a disease and decided to keep it.

This negativity to variance is no on. We can apply it to other things e.g. height - midget/dwarf. Should we automatically expect all dwarfs to have leg lengthening operations. Would you want to do this. I think its wrong that we are constantly trying to make everyone 'fit' an average when actually the way you are is best for you. All humans are better off being who they are in their natural state.

The point however that I am making is not about people with different distributions with some having more and others having less. What I am saying is that we live in a society where normal amount of female hair e.g. upper lip is considered abnormal. I fundamentally believe we have a hair phobia culture.

Kesh ie hair is part of the 5 kakkars. The 5 kakkars are considered to be an 'ang' or limb of your body and must never be removed. Therefore kesh should not be removed because it is who you are naturally as a human being. Let me ask you this - would you remove the hair off your eyelashes. Would you physically sit there and pull out every single eyelash hair because everyone in society is doing it and they are looking at you as if you are abnormal for having long eyelash hair. Of course some people (indians) have longer eye lash hair compared to others (caucasians). But would you remove your eyebrow hair. imagine every time you did it - it hurt, you cried, you got redness, you got blisters and the pain was immense. Not only that - the next month it grew back again. Females across the world who have normal amounts of female facial hair spend money and time on doing exactly this when they remove their facial and bodily hair.

The Kesh is not for creating an identity because then we could wear turbans with our hair cut short. Also hair came first. Our hair is what gives us our identity not our turbans. We sikhs are humans that keep themselves as they are born and are proud of it. Also sikh woman keep their hair uncut under a chunni so it cannot be identity. In conclusion the hair is what gives us our identity - not the other way around.

The eradication of inequality has nothing to do with hair keeping. Inequality is to do with lack of opportunities. The reason sikhs keep their hair is because the 5 kakkars are you and you do not remove them. And woman need to keep facial hair - you wouldn't pluck out the hair on your eyelashes so why are you doing this to your face?

I am busy and cannot reply anymore so please ask the sangat the rest of your questions. Thanks.

Just answer the question, would you marry her? Be truthful and stop deflecting. We all know the answer already.

Let's play your game. Why are you cutting your nails then? Let it grow out then. Why take a shower or clean yourself after taking a dump? It's all part of our body right? See how easy that was?

In my opinion kesh IS for identity. This prevented many practicing Hindus to swallow Sikhism and make it a sect of Hinduism. By creating the requirement for keeping long hair and turban, it effectively prevented 'fence sitters' to dictate and claim Sikhism is a sect of Hinduism. It once and for all forces you to choose. There is no grey area. Nobody back then had long hair with turban. Turban maybe but thats it.

The truth is you can argue pretty much anything if you want to argue. But the truth is based on facts and not opinion We all have an opinion on everything. You believe any facial hair removal is bad and others think differently and it's their perogative. Thats fine and dandy however that is your opinion, nothing more. Blindly believing in something based on someones personal opinion is basically creating a set of dogmas.

No need to reply. Thanks.

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