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Diary Of Sikh Woman: Why I Cannot Get Married


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Let's play your game. Why are you cutting your nails then? Let it grow out then. Why take a shower or clean yourself after taking a dump? It's all part of our body right? See how easy that was?

The Guru did not make nails part of the 5 kakkars therefore you are allowed to cut your nails. This is because nails are considered unclean but hair is not considered unclean. Please stop twisting things to make it out like this is absurd and is acleanliness issues. Keeping hair has nothing to do with lack of hygiene such as not washing or not cutting nails. There is a balance please try to appreciate that and think deeper.

If the Guru want us to keep nails then they would be part of the 5 kakkars but for this very reason our NAILS are NOT part of the 5 kakkars. Keeping hair does not make you unclean. Also keeping hair is not my personal opinion - it is a part of the rehat maryada and the amrit ceremony wordlwide. However what you are saying is your opinion and based on how you feel about female facial hair and it is not in line with the SIkh teachings. Other people don't think like you and have no issues as they are accepting of the 5 kakkars.

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Putting aside the rehat debate for a moment and returning to the OP. I think it has been proven, albeit anecdotally, that there are Singhs who have no issue with marrying a Singhni who has facial hair. So, the OP's argument that Singhs are hypocrites and can be conditioned to behave like dogs is wide of the mark.

Perhaps OP should work on cultivating a pleasant and agreeable side? Someone who is on the defensive and ready to be offended just isn't fun to be around. You won't make friends amongst your potential in-laws if you hold people with so much disdain!

You never know, with a bit of introspection and an eventual change of attitude the OP might attract a Singh who'll breach that icy cold exterior of hers. :)

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Putting aside the rehat debate for a moment and returning to the OP. I think it has been proven, albeit anecdotally, that there are Singhs who have no issue with marrying a Singhni who has facial hair. So, the OP's argument that Singhs are hypocrites and can be conditioned to behave like dogs is wide of the mark.

Perhaps OP should work on cultivating a pleasant and agreeable side? Someone who is on the defensive and ready to be offended just isn't fun to be around. You won't make friends amongst your potential in-laws if you hold people with so much disdain!

You never know, with a bit of introspection and an eventual change of attitude the OP might attract a Singh who'll breach that icy cold exterior of hers. :)

Curious, would you marry a woman with a beard? Or an almost visible mustache?

The OP sounds like someone who had been brought up with a very strict code of conduct and those who preached would practice. But she's learning the hard way that many 'talk the talk but don't walk the walk'.

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Curious, would you marry a woman with a beard? Or an almost visible mustache?

The OP sounds like someone who had been brought up with a very strict code of conduct and those who preached would practice. But she's learning the hard way that many 'talk the talk but don't walk the walk'.

Depends. If she ticked the other boxes of what I require in a life partner I really would do so. I wouldn't marry a bibi with facial hair to make a point or laud it over other Singhs as if to say, "Tut, Tut, you aren't true Sikhs, because you can't see past this woman's facial hair," or anything like that. But, as I said, she'd have to be what I want in terms of a wife aside from the facial hair.

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Depends. If she ticked the other boxes of what I require in a life partner I really would do so. I wouldn't marry a bibi with facial hair to make a point or laud it over other Singhs as if to say, "Tut, Tut, you aren't true Sikhs, because you can't see past this woman's facial hair," or anything like that. But, as I said, she'd have to be what I want in terms of a wife aside from the facial hair.

In short, you won't. Lets stop kidding ourselves. Those other check boxes are just excuses to decline an alliance.

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sometimes feel women in sikhi are either invisible or there is pressure to take on a male identity, men and women are different there's nothing wrong in looking different, why must there be pressure to look the same. Like someone else mentioned I've never seen a picture showing women having facial hair in the Guru's times. Does anyone know of any accounts/evidence that women did keep facial/body hair in their times. Its ok for men to say keep your facial hair, for men it can be seen as a sign of masculinity. We need to value women and there qualities and not pressurising them to keep hair on the face so they look male. There's a lot of focus on male identity in sikhi - battles, weapons, warriors, but we also need to celebrate the softer female side too. Most men do not want a wife with facial hair - that is the truth, why should the poster not have the chance to get married and have a family. Women have a limited time to have children and who knows how long it will take to find a man who doesn't mind a wife with facial hair.

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