To Be Or Not To Be Honest

[Guest Gina]

Gurfatehji. Through one of the matrimonial sites I came across a gursikh,well educated,from a decent family & seemed to be mature. He was an NRI.After fw days of interaction online (had spoken to him once on the phone though),he told me that he had a health issue years ago but was nw completely cured. It didn't affect me in the least as I had begun liking him and his honesty spoke volumes I felt.My parents after some thought too felt that it was alright as he had been honest about his health.fine. two days later I shared my health issue with him but things came to an end.I wanted to share about myself with him at an appropriate time and didnt want to hide it. Anyways he didn't feel the need to discuss or clarify how serious or minor my health issue was. He simply closed the interaction with a formal mail explaining his reasons. I was broken as we had developed a good rapport, understanding and it all seemed just fine.I believed that he would understand my issue as he had been through a difficult time himself. But it all ended.

I want to ask how many would go ahead in such a situation or simply close talks without knowing or understanding how small the girls health issue is. If one person in all honesty shares her health concern and before that has accepted this person, despite his past, not asking any questions;hw fair is it on his part to simply stop talks? I am beginning to wonder if one should be honest at all? It hadn't even been two weeks of interaction.It surprises me to no end that being educated such is the thinking. I'am not sure how it will be if iv to interact with someone else tom. I will be glad to hear any honest thoughts if there would be such a situation before any of u tom.and if anyone wishes to give advice I am equally glad to listen. Thanks a ton.

[simran345]

Hanji difficult situation to be in, but it's always best to tell of any health conditions at start. Not only will they save you wasting your time with somebody that doesn't appreciate you for who you are, but also will help in finding somebody that God has already allocated to you.

Many guys tend to run away as there first thought would be children and the responsibility of caring. But there are others who would see you for who you are and your qualities. It's good you told him as problems would have ocurred later on, and this way you will not hurt as much. And would not be fair also on the other as honesty is the best where it concerns health related. The reason he stopped talking was God telling you that he's not the one and saved you from something bad. Don't see this as negative, see it as a blessing that he was not right for you ji.

Good luck.

[Guest Gina]

Hanji difficult situation to be in, but it's always best to tell of any health conditions at start. Not only will they save you wasting your time with somebody that doesn't appreciate you for who you are, but also will help in finding somebody that God has already allocated to you.

Many guys tend to run away as there first thought would be children and the responsibility of caring. But there are others who would see you for who you are and your qualities. It's good you told him as problems would have ocurred later on, and this way you will not hurt as much. And would not be fair also on the other as honesty is the best where it concerns health related. The reason he stopped talking was God telling you that he's not the one and saved you from something bad. Don't see this as negative, see it as a blessing that he was not right for you ji.

Good luck.

Thanks a lot Simran ji.Yes I agree that Waheguruji saved me from something bad. He surely knws best. But it hurt me as not once that person asked me about my health or how mild or serious it was. He simply didn't feel the need to. While I had accepted him earlier irrespective of his past which had surprised him.anyways as you said it was for my best which is something I can't comprehend.Thanks again

[simran345]

Ur welcome Gina ji. Hanji it hurt, but that's because he didn't care to ask you. Ask your soul why are you hurting for somebody that doesn't care? He wasn't yours in the first place so don't let ur soul hurt for somebody that doesn't care. Do u really want to marry somebody that doesn't care? No right? As long you know you did the right thing, but this world has a diversity of people, some care some don't. What's not yours, then there's nothing lost, in fact maybe gained.

[Guest Gina]

Hanji.thanks a lot.