Sikh Girls Marrying Muslim Boys

[simran345]

We need Sikh counsellors in Gurdwaras. Granthis are supposed to play that part in Gurdwaras but sadly most are in for the money and nothing else to help out with sancta. In UK, there are Singhs from Gurdwara who do some family support help for Sikh families as every gurdwara should be doing this all over the world. This will help solve the problems of girls leaving out and getting dishonored and so on and on...... its not a complete solution but a good start to solve this problem.

Gud idea but some wouldn't agree, I think this is great idea, already there are organisations set up to help alcoholics in our community and things are being in place to have these sort of services accessible for our community. Gurdwaras are where most of our community goes and what better place to have these counsellors at. Just more need to get involved and get the ball rolling.

[Singhberkshire]

As far as I am concerned it is game over when our Gurdwaras allow the anand karaj of such weddings. There is very little we can do until these old boys who choose to turn a blind eye and bless these weddings during weekday weddings or "after hours" on Sundays when the sangat is safely on their way home. These Gurdwaras are completely shameless. By them allowing this to have happened has worsened the problem. The parents of girls are slowly believeing that it is ok to participate in such relations and I am sick of hearing the old line of "well so and so's daughter did it so we said ok as well".

Its fast becoming common knowledge and a common scene to witness such weddings.

I know of a girl who wanted to marry a somlian guy in a west london gurdwara. The date was set - a weekday again- but sadly for her some local boys found out what was about to happen and put a stop to the gurdwara going ahead. So what does the girl and her parents do? Yes they move onto the next gurdwara who gladly took her money and held the anand karaj of her and her somalian fiance in a backdoor anand karak on a sunday afternoon.

Sadly for us it is becoming game over and I blame the gurdwaras and more importantly the PARENTS of such Sikhs who have allowed this to happen.

I know of a another gurdwara in Southall on Oswald Road. They too are happy to proceed with girls or boys marrying muslims.

Only in May they blessed a Sikh boy marrying his Muslim girlfriend.....and before you ask no the girl is no convert and still practices Islam. The reason Oswald Road allowed it to happen?....Because the boy was a grandson of one of the committee members.

And then the word gets round and some other Sikh mum appear and say "hey my daughter wants to marry a Jameel can she too have her wedding here?....and before you know it the Gurdwara is obliged to. Its a sad but true fact.

It really is game over.

[Singhberkshire]

Gud idea but some wouldn't agree, I think this is great idea, already there are organisations set up to help alcoholics in our community and things are being in place to have these sort of services accessible for our community. Gurdwaras are where most of our community goes and what better place to have these counsellors at. Just more need to get involved and get the ball rolling.

And how would this solve the Mums of such girls who are happy for such weddings to go ahead?.. Im on your side brother but would like to know how would it sway the poisioned mums?

[Guest Jacfsing2]

I can't say I agree. You seem a decent bloke, humbler than many Amritdharis are. I think you've every right to consider yourself a Sikh.

There are a great many Amritdharis who are paragons of morality, and a great many Sehajdharis who are scumbags.

But there are also plenty of non-Amritdharis who embody all the virtues preached in the Sikh religion, and plenty of Amritdharis who are the antitheses of these virtues. Why should the first group be denied the right to call themselves Sikhs, but the second group be granted this right simply because they took Amrit?

I appreciate your views, but even Muslims and Hindus as well as Christians can be decent human beings and not every Muslim constantly thinks on how to "manipulate" others sexually to convert to their faith.

[Quantavius]

Agree with this, education has got nothing to do with it. It's lack of love for Sikhi that is the problem, and lack of respect for parents. I too have seen the more educated is the more they class themselves as having more choice and choosing to love who they want regardless of taking into consideration their religion. I know love cannot be forced or one cannot choose who to fall in love with but these people do have the choice of learning about their own faith which they can't be bothered to do.

I believe it's reinforcements (positive and negative) within our society. The more liberal, the higher the chances Punjabi women marry others. Punjabi women raised outside of Punjab are generally spoiled by their parents. By the time the woman is an adult, she has almost zero concept of supporting the family and the larger community.

[Quantavius]

As far as I am concerned it is game over when our Gurdwaras allow the anand karaj of such weddings. There is very little we can do until these old boys who choose to turn a blind eye and bless these weddings during weekday weddings or "after hours" on Sundays when the sangat is safely on their way home. These Gurdwaras are completely shameless. By them allowing this to have happened has worsened the problem. The parents of girls are slowly believeing that it is ok to participate in such relations and I am sick of hearing the old line of "well so and so's daughter did it so we said ok as well".

Its fast becoming common knowledge and a common scene to witness such weddings.

I know of a girl who wanted to marry a somlian guy in a west london gurdwara. The date was set - a weekday again- but sadly for her some local boys found out what was about to happen and put a stop to the gurdwara going ahead. So what does the girl and her parents do? Yes they move onto the next gurdwara who gladly took her money and held the anand karaj of her and her somalian fiance in a backdoor anand karak on a sunday afternoon.

Sadly for us it is becoming game over and I blame the gurdwaras and more importantly the PARENTS of such Sikhs who have allowed this to happen.

I know of a another gurdwara in Southall on Oswald Road. They too are happy to proceed with girls or boys marrying muslims.

Only in May they blessed a Sikh boy marrying his Muslim girlfriend.....and before you ask no the girl is no convert and still practices Islam. The reason Oswald Road allowed it to happen?....Because the boy was a grandson of one of the committee members.

And then the word gets round and some other Sikh mum appear and say "hey my daughter wants to marry a Jameel can she too have her wedding here?....and before you know it the Gurdwara is obliged to. Its a sad but true fact.

It really is game over.

I just don't get it. Why do they always want to marry in a Gurdwara? They have accepted a person from another race so go follow the mans culture. Why Gurdwara? Some even name their children Punjabi sounding names.

Don't blame anybody but yourselves. I don't understand how English law works but if I'm not mistaken when a Gurdwara is created and registered with the government there should be some kind of by laws of sorts that clearly states that this a Sikh temple and what are the do's and don'ts. All you have to do is then file some kind of charges against the committee that has broken the temple bylaws. Lastly, you can vote the committee out. Yes, it can be done.

[simran345]

And how would this solve the Mums of such girls who are happy for such weddings to go ahead?.. Im on your side brother but would like to know how would it sway the poisioned mums?

It depends on what sangat they are communicating in, which also affects a persons mindset. If the mums are also in an environment where other mums can reflect upon them as role models it may sway their way of thinking. As end of day it's all about the environment one is living in and how they shapes their thought of mind Ji. As some women tend to give in to their children but with the right values that they have will also reflect upon the children. Most women just tend to go matha tek maybe do seva but is there any education on how to deal with issues? No ji there is no support when things go wrong, so the problem escalates up until it cannot be saved.

I believe it's reinforcements (positive and negative) within our society. The more liberal, the higher the chances Punjabi women marry others. Punjabi women raised outside of Punjab are generally spoiled by their parents. By the time the woman is an adult, she has almost zero concept of supporting the family and the larger community.

Paji it's both ways, more liberal causes divertion and Also restriction and over control causes it too. It's a difficult job being a parent, especially nowadays it has to be balanced correctly and in this day and age it's more difficult as there is more freedom.

Also the gurdwaras have a duty to reject such marriages. They don't have to say yes. Agree with SinghBerkshire ji, it will reduce if the gurdwaras do not participate. People can marry elsewhere, nobody is stopping that. The onus is on the gurdwaras to not allow it in the first place.

Everything is in Gods hukam.

[Singhberkshire]

I hate to say this but the sad truth why the parents allow this to happen is because they have become scared of their kids...daughters and sons alike. Yes its true...

Gone are the days where kids respected their folks and would not even think about bringing on such shame. Instead parents are running scared of their kids and have very openly accepted such relationships.

Gurdwaras?....Well I cannot stress enough it is partially greed and partially the old boys network....They cannot refuse old boys they've known for years.

They have become shameless. Yes shameless to the point that sikh boys and girls and their parents are now confident enough to hold anand karaj in our Gurdwaras.

My goodness it does upset me a great deal to think what our Gurus would be thinking. Waheguru waheguru waheguru. Sanoo guruji maffi theywo. Waheguru Waheguru Waheguru.

Please note I have no problem Sikhi boys and girls wanting to carry on with muslims or the like. But waheguru please please PLEASE!! NOT IN FRONT OF OUR GURU MAHARAJ...take it elsewhere. And to those parents who approach Gurdwaras omitting the partners full name and religion. For wahegurus sake please be honest at least in a Gurdwara. Is it too much to ask. Take this kind of behaviours elsewhere and keep it out.

Waheguru Waheguru.

[SheikhYoBooty]

The solution is simple.

Sikh guys need to show maximum respect to Sikh females as our sisters/daughters.

Sikh girls need access to counselling like Singh1996 said.

Sikh parents need to educate their children about what Sikhi stands for.

Sikh community needs to be there for the vulnerable girls and boys among us.

We need to have there backs if things get rough for them.

We need to realise that Islam is not a peaceful religion but the Nazi ideology cult of a pedophile slaveowner terrorist.

Simran345, Questioner, SinghniMiripiri, Barfi n Mithai, skaur888 make me proud of how most Sikh women are like.

They are awesome and probly 5 of the most intelligent posters we have gotten on this site!

[Quantavius]

Paji it's both ways, more liberal causes divertion and Also restriction and over control causes it too. It's a difficult job being a parent, especially nowadays it has to be balanced correctly and in this day and age it's more difficult as there is more freedom.

Also the gurdwaras have a duty to reject such marriages. They don't have to say yes. Agree with SinghBerkshire ji, it will reduce if the gurdwaras do not participate. People can marry elsewhere, nobody is stopping that. The onus is on the gurdwaras to not allow it in the first place.

Everything is in Gods hukam.

I'm sorry Simran but I beg to differ. This problem of being 'tough to be a parent' only exists in Western nations. In western nations, a teenager can run away from home and survive on some kind of welfare. Moreover these are 'monied' societies where even a beggar has a higher standard of living then many wage earners in the East. In the East, there is no such options.

I've personally witnessed bad and good parenting and it's always those who refuse to budge on their principles that always come out on the top.

As for Gurdwara, as I've mentioned before legal action can be taken and committees can be voted out.