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sikhstudent99

Sikh Girls Marrying Muslim Boys

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As far as I am concerned it is game over when our Gurdwaras allow the anand karaj of such weddings. There is very little we can do until these old boys who choose to turn a blind eye and bless these weddings during weekday weddings or "after hours" on Sundays when the sangat is safely on their way home. These Gurdwaras are completely shameless. By them allowing this to have happened has worsened the problem. The parents of girls are slowly believeing that it is ok to participate in such relations and I am sick of hearing the old line of "well so and so's daughter did it so we said ok as well".

Its fast becoming common knowledge and a common scene to witness such weddings.

I know of a girl who wanted to marry a somlian guy in a west london gurdwara. The date was set - a weekday again- but sadly for her some local boys found out what was about to happen and put a stop to the gurdwara going ahead. So what does the girl and her parents do? Yes they move onto the next gurdwara who gladly took her money and held the anand karaj of her and her somalian fiance in a backdoor anand karak on a sunday afternoon.

Sadly for us it is becoming game over and I blame the gurdwaras and more importantly the PARENTS of such Sikhs who have allowed this to happen.

I know of a another gurdwara in Southall on Oswald Road. They too are happy to proceed with girls or boys marrying muslims.

Only in May they blessed a Sikh boy marrying his Muslim girlfriend.....and before you ask no the girl is no convert and still practices Islam. The reason Oswald Road allowed it to happen?....Because the boy was a grandson of one of the committee members.

And then the word gets round and some other Sikh mum appear and say "hey my daughter wants to marry a Jameel can she too have her wedding here?....and before you know it the Gurdwara is obliged to. Its a sad but true fact.

It really is game over.

I just don't get it. Why do they always want to marry in a Gurdwara? They have accepted a person from another race so go follow the mans culture. Why Gurdwara? Some even name their children Punjabi sounding names.

Don't blame anybody but yourselves. I don't understand how English law works but if I'm not mistaken when a Gurdwara is created and registered with the government there should be some kind of by laws of sorts that clearly states that this a Sikh temple and what are the do's and don'ts. All you have to do is then file some kind of charges against the committee that has broken the temple bylaws. Lastly, you can vote the committee out. Yes, it can be done.

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And how would this solve the Mums of such girls who are happy for such weddings to go ahead?.. Im on your side brother but would like to know how would it sway the poisioned mums?

It depends on what sangat they are communicating in, which also affects a persons mindset. If the mums are also in an environment where other mums can reflect upon them as role models it may sway their way of thinking. As end of day it's all about the environment one is living in and how they shapes their thought of mind Ji. As some women tend to give in to their children but with the right values that they have will also reflect upon the children. Most women just tend to go matha tek maybe do seva but is there any education on how to deal with issues? No ji there is no support when things go wrong, so the problem escalates up until it cannot be saved.

I believe it's reinforcements (positive and negative) within our society. The more liberal, the higher the chances Punjabi women marry others. Punjabi women raised outside of Punjab are generally spoiled by their parents. By the time the woman is an adult, she has almost zero concept of supporting the family and the larger community.

Paji it's both ways, more liberal causes divertion and Also restriction and over control causes it too. It's a difficult job being a parent, especially nowadays it has to be balanced correctly and in this day and age it's more difficult as there is more freedom.

Also the gurdwaras have a duty to reject such marriages. They don't have to say yes. Agree with SinghBerkshire ji, it will reduce if the gurdwaras do not participate. People can marry elsewhere, nobody is stopping that. The onus is on the gurdwaras to not allow it in the first place.

Everything is in Gods hukam.

Edited by simran345

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I hate to say this but the sad truth why the parents allow this to happen is because they have become scared of their kids...daughters and sons alike. Yes its true...

Gone are the days where kids respected their folks and would not even think about bringing on such shame. Instead parents are running scared of their kids and have very openly accepted such relationships.

Gurdwaras?....Well I cannot stress enough it is partially greed and partially the old boys network....They cannot refuse old boys they've known for years.

They have become shameless. Yes shameless to the point that sikh boys and girls and their parents are now confident enough to hold anand karaj in our Gurdwaras.

My goodness it does upset me a great deal to think what our Gurus would be thinking. Waheguru waheguru waheguru. Sanoo guruji maffi theywo. Waheguru Waheguru Waheguru.

Please note I have no problem Sikhi boys and girls wanting to carry on with muslims or the like. But waheguru please please PLEASE!! NOT IN FRONT OF OUR GURU MAHARAJ...take it elsewhere. And to those parents who approach Gurdwaras omitting the partners full name and religion. For wahegurus sake please be honest at least in a Gurdwara. Is it too much to ask. Take this kind of behaviours elsewhere and keep it out.

Waheguru Waheguru.

Edited by Singhberkshire
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The solution is simple.

Sikh guys need to show maximum respect to Sikh females as our sisters/daughters.

Sikh girls need access to counselling like Singh1996 said.

Sikh parents need to educate their children about what Sikhi stands for.

Sikh community needs to be there for the vulnerable girls and boys among us.

We need to have there backs if things get rough for them.

We need to realise that Islam is not a peaceful religion but the Nazi ideology cult of a pedophile slaveowner terrorist.

Simran345, Questioner, SinghniMiripiri, Barfi n Mithai, skaur888 make me proud of how most Sikh women are like.

They are awesome and probly 5 of the most intelligent posters we have gotten on this site!

Edited by SheikhYoBooty

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Paji it's both ways, more liberal causes divertion and Also restriction and over control causes it too. It's a difficult job being a parent, especially nowadays it has to be balanced correctly and in this day and age it's more difficult as there is more freedom.

Also the gurdwaras have a duty to reject such marriages. They don't have to say yes. Agree with SinghBerkshire ji, it will reduce if the gurdwaras do not participate. People can marry elsewhere, nobody is stopping that. The onus is on the gurdwaras to not allow it in the first place.

Everything is in Gods hukam.

I'm sorry Simran but I beg to differ. This problem of being 'tough to be a parent' only exists in Western nations. In western nations, a teenager can run away from home and survive on some kind of welfare. Moreover these are 'monied' societies where even a beggar has a higher standard of living then many wage earners in the East. In the East, there is no such options.

I've personally witnessed bad and good parenting and it's always those who refuse to budge on their principles that always come out on the top.

As for Gurdwara, as I've mentioned before legal action can be taken and committees can be voted out.

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I'm sorry Simran but I beg to differ. This problem of being 'tough to be a parent' only exists in Western nations. In western nations, a teenager can run away from home and survive on some kind of welfare. Moreover these are 'monied' societies where even a beggar has a higher standard of living then many wage earners in the East. In the East, there is no such options.

I've personally witnessed bad and good parenting and it's always those who refuse to budge on their principles that always come out on the top.

As for Gurdwara, as I've mentioned before legal action can be taken and committees can be voted out.

That's okji you are entitled to your opnion. You are right in a sense but it is a worldwide issue parenting nowadays is more stressful I feel as there is more choice. Children are growing up so fast and are very defensive too than before. I agree with SinghBerkshire, it's not just our community it's others too.

In India too parenting is th hardest I guess, if not marrying into other faiths, there are other issues, drugs alcohol, etc, more freedom. Do to Bollywood. And th going abroad case. Sheikhyobooty emphasizes on educating, awareness, more support. Couldn't agree more, where's there is no knowledge, there is no progress. But then again it is kalyug, and this is all happening in Gods hukam, we can try ourselves, but Jo rab da hukam uste NI jor koi. All society has changed, compare what the world was 15-20 years ago to now, one day hukam will also reverse the problems.

SheikhyoBooty ji I wouldn't say I'm intelligent, Meri Mat thori a, but thank you ji for ur blessing, I'm also learning, I only write what I feel, as logically as I see it. I have my own self to judge and if I learn something from others then I am blessed to receive that.

Edited by simran345

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Gud idea but some wouldn't agree, I think this is great idea, already there are organisations set up to help alcoholics in our community and things are being in place to have these sort of services accessible for our community. Gurdwaras are where most of our community goes and what better place to have these counsellors at. Just more need to get involved and get the ball rolling.

I just want to wait and see how gurdwaras will be running in 20 years or so when the next generation step in like us. For now most gurdwaras committees are no different from masands. That doesn't mean mean youth can't do anything though we have to work our way around these committees to at least have a basic ground to help sangat. Like I mentioned counseling before. There for sure are good Gursikh bibis/phenjis out there who can help out as counselors for their own local sangat and trust me it can make a big difference.

Here in America, sadly most gurdwaras have no what so support for sangat. I mean in UK you have guys have atleast couple organizations to support sangat in different areas but here its complete chaos.

Punjabi parents of this generation more over care about education than religion as they don't care who their child marries as long as she is standing on her own feet and blah blah blah.

Also in UK, you guys enough youth to stand up against interfaith weddings too from happening in gurdwara too but in America not even one has been avoided.

Edited by kharkusingh1996
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I just want to wait and see how gurdwaras will be running in 20 years or so when the next generation step in like us. For now most gurdwaras committees are no different from masands. That doesn't mean mean youth can't do anything though we have to work our way around these committees to at least have a basic ground to help sangat. Like I mentioned counseling before. There for sure are good Gursikh bibis/phenjis out there who can help out as counselors for their own local sangat and trust me it can make a big difference.

Here in America, sadly most gurdwaras have no what so support for sangat. I mean in UK you have guys have atleast couple organizations to support sangat in different areas but here its complete chaos.

Punjabi parents of this generation more over care about education than religion as they don't care who their child marries as long as she is standing on her own feet and blah blah blah.

Also in UK, you guys enough youth to stand up against interfaith weddings too from happening in gurdwara too but in America not even one has been avoided.

I can't comment for USA ji but I see some gurdwaras here are changing. It's not a lot but anything is better than nothing.

They care more about education as they probably struggled themselves and want their children to have what they didn't so are painting the picture of success which is not a bad thing, but some are spilling the paint over the picture, with one colour missing, thus neglecting faith and moral values.

Is nu kende a kalyug de rang ji. Jad rang duljanda fer tasveer pechaan ni hundi.

Lal rang tis ko laga, jiska vadbhagaa - Guru Arjan Dev ji ?

Edited by simran345

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I'm sorry Simran but I beg to differ. This problem of being 'tough to be a parent' only exists in Western nations. In western nations, a teenager can run away from home and survive on some kind of welfare. Moreover these are 'monied' societies where even a beggar has a higher standard of living then many wage earners in the East. In the East, there is no such options.

I've personally witnessed bad and good parenting and it's always those who refuse to budge on their principles that always come out on the top.

As for Gurdwara, as I've mentioned before legal action can be taken and committees can be voted out.

Not as easy as that....not with all the corruption and hogging of commitees. The old boys will not budge and I have even seen in one gurdwara it came to a full on fisty punchup in front of sangat on a Sunday morning. If one tries to vote another out they are seen as troublemakers and can seen in bad light amongst our close community.

They all have their own "reasons" not wanting to step down or be voted out. For example one Gurdwara in Southall the Pardan's son was a mortgage broker. When the Gurdwara decided to purchase some properties yes they went to him. And yes he offered the Gurdwara the worst possible deal on a interest only mortgage term. Why I hear you say?...Because his commission was a dream earner. It was all stamped up by the Pardan and his son now at the age of 47 sits retired. Yes he made that much money from the commission that he retired!! Left the Sangat to pick up the pieces financially. They only got found out when during an audit questions were asked about why the hell they were obscene amounts in payments.....

And yes the pardan still sits there in power.....

Edited by Singhberkshire
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@Singhberkshire - Rest assured these masands can escape punishment whilst they swan around these streets, but they will eventually answer for their deceptions and greed. Probably not much consolation to most of us, but true justice awaits them.

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That's okji you are entitled to your opnion. You are right in a sense but it is a worldwide issue parenting nowadays is more stressful I feel as there is more choice. Children are growing up so fast and are very defensive too than before. I agree with SinghBerkshire, it's not just our community it's others too.

In India too parenting is th hardest I guess, if not marrying into other faiths, there are other issues, drugs alcohol, etc, more freedom. Do to Bollywood. And th going abroad case. Sheikhyobooty emphasizes on educating, awareness, more support. Couldn't agree more, where's there is no knowledge, there is no progress. But then again it is kalyug, and this is all happening in Gods hukam, we can try ourselves, but Jo rab da hukam uste NI jor koi. All society has changed, compare what the world was 15-20 years ago to now, one day hukam will also reverse the problems.

SheikhyoBooty ji I wouldn't say I'm intelligent, Meri Mat thori a, but thank you ji for ur blessing, I'm also learning, I only write what I feel, as logically as I see it. I have my own self to judge and if I learn something from others then I am blessed to receive that.

Another point I would like to add, check what is being taught to your schools. In the US, children are taught to be rebellious against their parents and a whole load of other mumbo jumbo that many parents are now 'home schooling' their kids. It's in the public schools in western nations where they learn it's 'cool' to rebel against any authority figure.

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Not as easy as that....not with all the corruption and hogging of commitees. The old boys will not budge and I have even seen in one gurdwara it came to a full on fisty punchup in front of sangat on a Sunday morning. If one tries to vote another out they are seen as troublemakers and can seen in bad light amongst our close community.

They all have their own "reasons" not wanting to step down or be voted out. For example one Gurdwara in Southall the Pardan's son was a mortgage broker. When the Gurdwara decided to purchase some properties yes they went to him. And yes he offered the Gurdwara the worst possible deal on a interest only mortgage term. Why I hear you say?...Because his commission was a dream earner. It was all stamped up by the Pardan and his son now at the age of 47 sits retired. Yes he made that much money from the commission that he retired!! Left the Sangat to pick up the pieces financially. They only got found out when during an audit questions were asked about why the hell they were obscene amounts in payments.....

And yes the pardan still sits there in power.....

Yup, same story everywhere. And Sikhs say drinkers/smokers are bad people. LOL! Many Sikhs have a very skewed perception of morality. If you drink or smoke you're just an 'evil Gabbar' but if you don't you can get away with pretty much everything as per your example. It never ceases to amaze me how this happens in Gurdwaras.

The only way to end this is to be vigilant and it can be done.

Edited by Quantavius

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that's why you convert the girls so you can marry them.

Thanks for insinuating I'm in the process of, or have converted a Sikh. I have not, and will not.

Also, you truly don't know much about Islamic conversion if you believe people just 'convert people'.

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Another beadbi sham marriage stopped, that too, at 1 of the most important gurdwaras in the uk. If a significant gurdwara like this 1 in southall is carryin out illegal weddings, wats this sayin in regards to how much they care for sikhi and respect they have for akal takht maryada.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1462891434036753&substory_index=0&id=100009477327588&refid=17

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