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Guest Gupt1

Gay Guy Having Anand Karaj For 3Rd Time

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Guest Gupt1

Hi

I know of an amritdhari Singh who will be getting married for the third time next year. He was married here once and the marriage broke down, he then went to Punjab to get married and again marriage broke down, he will now be getting married for a third time in Punjab next year. He has admitted in the past he is gay but not told his whole family openly. His parents just presume the other women haven't been good enough. I don't know him really well in person, just from afar, I also don't have any details of the girl he will be marrying. What advise can the sangat share?

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Guest Jacfsing2

I'd say try to focus on him doing naam japna, it's clear Guru Sahib hasn't made a person for him to marry, (and that's ok, he can do many things married men can't). He could do so many things, he'll have a non-traditional Gristi Jeevan as he's still in the world. (No Gay Anand Karaj!)

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Hi

I know of an amritdhari Singh who will be getting married for the third time next year. He was married here once and the marriage broke down, he then went to Punjab to get married and again marriage broke down, he will now be getting married for a third time in Punjab next year. He has admitted in the past he is gay but not told his whole family openly. His parents just presume the other women haven't been good enough. I don't know him really well in person, just from afar, I also don't have any details of the girl he will be marrying. What advise can the sangat share?

So you don't know him in person, only from afar. So what are you expecting to do? Communicate with his family members? To give him advice? Stop the marriage? I don't see what you can do in a situation where you don't know enough about somebody. What is it that you want to achieve? If you can be a bit more clear on that.

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Guest Gupt1

He's made the admission to some members of his family, I think it's wrong that his parents still expect him to get married, they haven't spoken to him about the real reasons his other marriages have failed. I think it's unfair that he will go abroad and marry an innocent girl who has no idea about this. The results can be catastrophic to girls lives. Should I send an anonymous letter to him? Should I bother to do anything? I don't want to confront him face on as he'd be shocked who it's coming from and might deny it all.

From OP

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Get all of these people out of the closet.

The ones of previous generations had families and quietly pursued their homosexuality on the sly. People aren't going to do this now. Let them come out and face reality instead of having a bunch of kids then doing it later.

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Get all of these people out of the closet.

The ones of previous generations had families and quietly pursued their homosexuality on the sly. People aren't going to do this now. Let them come out and face reality instead of having a bunch of kids then doing it later.

How clueless must some of the parents be? I don't expect the Singh to be walking around with a limp wrist and a pink dastaar, but at least ask some questions of your son about why things aren't working out. Pushing him into another marriage when the previous one fails is stupidity.

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How clueless must some of the parents be? I don't expect the Singh to be walking around with a limp wrist and a pink dastaar, but at least ask some questions of your son about why things aren't working out. Pushing him into another marriage when the previous one fails is stupidity.

You know what most apnay parents are like: they're more obsessed with keeping up appearances and not sticking out than anything else. They're probably so blinded by this that they wouldn't even dare to imagine that their beloved son is an undercover poof, let alone confront him for it.

He might be an only son or something too - then they panic that the whole future of the family lies with him.

Meanwhile he lives like this fudhoo:

EDITED

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You know what most apnay parents are like: they're more obsessed with keeping up appearances and not sticking out than anything else. They're probably so blinded by this that they wouldn't even dare to imagine that their beloved son is an undercover poof, let alone confront him for it.

He might be an only son or something too - then they panic that the whole future of the family lies with him.

Incredibly true about the 'keeping up appearances' bit. That's our lot in a nutshell.

I have to wonder, if the Singh realises he's gay and his parents aren't going to let up until he has a wife and family, then why not bite the bullet and behave yourself after marriage? Beget a couple of kids, job done. What does he hope to achieve by ending the marriage each time? The girls that are being messed around is a tragedy, in a sense. What a mess.

Lol at the Dewani pic. Not laughing at the girl who had her life destroyed by the closeted sob, BTW.

Edited by MisterrSingh

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Guest Jacfsing2

Incredibly true about the 'keeping up appearances' bit. That's our lot in a nutshell.

I have to wonder, if the Singh realises he's gay and his parents aren't going to let up until he has a wife and family, then why not bite the bullet and behave yourself after marriage? Beget a couple of kids, job done. What does he hope to achieve by ending the marriage each time? The girls that are being messed around is a tragedy, in a sense. What a mess.

Lol at the Dewani pic. Not laughing at the girl who had her life destroyed by the closeted sob, BTW.

I'm sure this happens to people simply marrying to get a form of immigration. They just move on to the next spouse.

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I'm sure this happens to people simply marrying to get a form of immigration. They just move on to the next spouse.

That does happen unfortunately, but the gay Singh's parents aren't arranging his marriage time and time again so that a girl can come over to the west and then leave him. Their goal is to see him settle down and start a family. They're probably as mystified as anyone else about why their son's marriages are ending in divorce.

Unless the sly bugger is telling his wives-to-be that, once they're over here, they can leave after a while because he has no intention of being "with them".

Edited by MisterrSingh
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I have to wonder, if the Singh realises he's gay and his parents aren't going to let up until he has a wife and family, then why not bite the bullet and behave yourself after marriage? Beget a couple of kids, job done.

It's not as simple as that. Getting married and settling down with a women wont stop his intrinsic urges to look at other blokes and be like "Corrr, look at the arse on that!"

Although some people do have appeared to have returned from homo to straight (the drummer in a band from the 80s called Culture Club for instance). Mostly they can't over-ride their homosexual perspective/urges.

Ultimately this leads to a double life scenario. What's REALLY freaky is that hordes of our own older generation must be doing this as we speak. Acting like normal family men but cruising for backside on the sly. The other week someone posted a link here of some Baba up north getting head in an alley for example. So it's nothing new, they've probably had undercover networks for centuries; but they are just being a bit more open about it now than in the past.

Although I'm unsure of the solution, personally, I am pretty sure that coercing gay people to marry non-gays to keep up appearances is straight stupid and ruins a lot of lives. Maybe some of us just have to learn to accept that some of our kids are gay and prevent them from doing gay jalooses like the bloke in the OP?

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