30 Day Going Sober Blog

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Well you are on the right path. There is nothing to be gained by drinking and drugs. My grandfather passed away prematurely at the age of 70 because of his drinking habits. He was just such a good man and had a good heart and helped many people - he may have done more, unfortunately he had too many helath problems because of drinking. My dad too indulged heavily before he got married and could not stop until much late. My dad had his tonsils removed and could not eat tomatoes and spicy foods so we all ate bland food. Luckily my mum managed to get him to stop completely but it took almost 20 years.

Luckily I am married in a family where there are five brothers and no one drinks at all. Both my brothers have never touched drink. I have 8 nephews and 2 nieces who have never touched any alcohol. We are all very happy, no major health problems, have enough money to live comfortably and are thankful to God that he has kept us away from drink. yes, we all have a limited social life - but people respect us for our choice.

Just to let you know that you are not alone who has decided to not drink. There are many others. It would be beneficial for you to befriend such people who don't drink.

When I was at work all the girls drank - and they wanted to ask me out and lace my drink with alcohol which they maybe just joking. So I never went out with them.

So yes - you have to be ready to become head strong and see all the evil in drink. That is what it is. It is all evil - breeds evil and leads you to evil. It hurts you and everyone else around you. The pleasure of a drink is shortlived and its after effects are painful and you have to live with them.

The name of waheguru - is the true nectar - the true drink. The drink which is fun to drink and the after effects are peace and liberation. Amrit peevo sadha chir jeevo.

So keep up with your good habits and eventually what you reap will be good rewards.

However it is important to focus more on the positive - such as begin a project or course or hobby which will have all your attention instead of trying to focus on avoiding the drink. Nothing that will stress you out but something to keep you occupied to the extent that you loose yourself in it. Art, writing, photography could be anything which you always thought you wanted to do but never had enough time.

Fresh juice is a good way to recover from any lathargy. I personally tried juicing - carrots, peppers, cucumbers, spinach and the lot. Helps you recover from any bodily weakness you may be having because of ill health. There is lots of advice and recipes online on different types of juices.

Vaheguru. ??

[sikhni777]

A video talking about intoxication in sikhi

[sikhni777]

It may help to have some fruits like bananas around so that you can at least have a snack after working out.

[Guest]

Are there any boxing/MMA/Muay Thai gyms around where you live? If so I recommend you joking that gym. You will learn how to fight, get an awesome workout and meet some cool guys. I definitely recommend it.

[simran345]

DAY 10 -10/01/2016

Ive had a very lazy day today and I'm not happy about it. By the time I woke up my mum had already left to go the gurdwara. All I've done today is watch films, today has definitely been the hardest day sober yet. When I have nothing to do I just feel like going out or going to the pub. My cousin asked me if I wanted to go for a few pints today and I suggested food instead which he didn't want to do. Everyone I've ever grew up around or any sort of friend that I have always wants to meet up over a drink at a pub. I agree that I should distance myself from the people that get me drinking and doing drugs but I need some sort of social life right?? My tempers been high today, I've tried to stay in my room as much as possible because I don't want to take it out on others. The only productive thing I've done today is get things ready for work tomorrow

I said that I would do some training this weekend and I haven't done any. My body is still aching a bit from the bike ride yesterday but I've just felt so lazy today, as if I have no energy to do anything. Ive been feeling like I need to sleep but then when I try, I can't. I know that if i go to the doctors about it they will put me on sleeping pills and I don't want to get hooked on them. I can only imagine things are going to get harder for me. To keep me busy tomorrow I've decided to walk home from walk which will take me about an hour and get me some exercise. I also need to do some food shopping to top up on ingredients for my shakes so that should keep me busy after work

Theres nothing near me. The closest place is a MMA class which I started going to but there was so many people at these sessions that they just didnt have the equipment for everyone so would turn people away. I used to box years ago, I did it for 5 years but then my trainer retired and the gym we trained at closed down. I wish my city had one of them gurdwara gyms that I see on Facebook, that would defiantly motivate me to get up and go

Don't worry Paji, it's ok for all days not to be the same. As your mother went before you got up to go to the Gurdwara, instead of being sad about it, you could have listened to paat, or try doing it yourself. And think in your mind, " okay, it doesn't matter if I missed going, Guruji I know you are near me, please bless me to say your name wherever I am. " This would have filled some time for you too.

Another thing you could try is to say to your mother, next time she goes to wait or wake you up, so you can go together.

I knew it would get hard after the first week, that's why I said you need to be prepared as to what to do when that time comes, thus I mentioned the professional help. But don't be hard on yourself either. These things happens, just relax. Do you think you need some counselling?

I think you are having something like withdrawal symptoms from the buzz you were getting when you were feeling good. It's wearing off as you've been adjusting to the new routine.

It's ok to have a day off, rest day, slowing the pace will may irritate you, but think you haven't wasted the whole day. You got your work things ready, so that's something, better than nothing.

Don't be upset of what you haven't done today, but be proud of what you have. Bike ride has taken some energy, so instead of pushing yourself and doing things everyday, pace yourself and as its early days, try for alternate days, or so many days a week.

You are doing very good Paji, see you've already planned for tomorrow. Sunday's can be low day sometimes, as stores close early, people have Sunday's off. So think of it as a rest and relaxation day to unwind and refresh yourself for Monday.

Instead of trying to sleep, try naps.

Have a shabad playing on low volume or some relaxation music, if you can't sleep, and do some breathing exercises to relax. That will calm being restless. I will try to find the one I used to teach patients and send you in pm.

Somebody I know is into boxing in your city, but I'm not sure where their gym is, I will ask for you and get back to you.

There's also K. Singh, from there, but not sure if you are into wrestling.

[dallysingh101]

I said that I would do some training this weekend and I haven't done any. My body is still aching a bit from the bike ride yesterday but I've just felt so lazy today, as if I have no energy to do anything. Ive been feeling like I need to sleep but then when I try, I can't.

When you start, start small.

Don't have a massive routine in front of you to put you off. Start with something small and simple i.e.

3 x press ups

3 x squats

3 x situps

3 x handstands

etc. etc.

[buddasingh]

Cheering you on bro. Somehow you're an inspiration to even those who don't drink. We can all do better for ourselves is what I'm learning from you.

With respect to changing your circle and cutting people out, err on the side of caution. But if you are feeling strong enough, you can still interact with those people in other environments and do different things. They can be carefully planned so alcohol is simply not feasible.

It can make things more difficult if you are not respected by them for your stance, plans change and you're tempted. However, it might also make things easier if you can maintain some social ties with very old friends.

Drinking or not, friendships evolve over time and through life's stages. Be smart about it and it's OK to see the good in your old friends and still call them your friends.

......- The hardest thing is changing your circle and cutting people out, Ive had the same group of friends since I was young but as SGGS says, nothing lasts in this world

[sikhni777]

We are all human. Just because you feel tired and lazy does not mean you mean professional help - thats just my thoughts. I feel like I want a change too sometimes. You are the best judge of what your body and your mind needs. There are some days when you just need to rest. Nothing wrong with that. We are then able to deal with things in a more refreshed manner.

Working out hard also requires you to rest your body - as the body needs time to repair itself. Working out causes small cuts to appear in the muscles - so only protein, the right nutrients and rest will get you back to normal.

It is also important to replenish your body with some nutrients - especially a healthy fruit like banana within an hour post workout. This helps recovery faster.

All in all you did well - achieved your goals which was having another drink free day.

[dallysingh101]

The weather sometimes gets me down a bit I think. So all manner of factors can effect our mood and outlook.

Got to say, a little dose of simran and paat, does often help pull me out somewhat.

I think beside the spiritual, it helps by disrupting negative thought patterns.

[dallysingh101]

I also got a phone call from a friend who's getting married this year about his stag. Its in July but I'm 50/50 about going, If i can stay clean and sober till then I guess another few days on the stag won't matter? Any thoughts?

Don't think about it until May time. See where you are at, then. Cross each bridge as it comes. Deal with things day to day for now.

Until then keep doing what you're doing! Great to hear you're training!!!

I use music a lot when I train. Put that mopey Coldplay stuff down! Play pumping music. Boast yourself up!

Training legs occasionally (which I know can be a chore) might help because it stimulates the release of testosterone. Try that one day? Buy a cheap £10 pull up bar if you ain't got one already too.

We're all rooting for you man!