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The breathing exercises, you need to experiment and see which one is good for you. But don't force it, just do calmly. In the start you may have some weird effects if you are new to it, but if one type is not for you, then don't worry. Try something else to relax. The breathing exercises are to help one breath at a normal rhythm.

Another thing you can try is listening to relaxing music or sounds, such as ocean waves or nature sounds. But start off with little, then do the longer ones as you get used to them.

Jacobson Progressive muscle relaxation is good, it's what I used to teach patients and tried myself. See if it works for you, if it doesn't, no worries.

Here's one to practice, although there are other voices too on YouTube:

As every individual is different, when using these methods they may give different effects to different people. So you need to find something that suits you. And when starting some new method or tool, give it at least a few weeks to a month for it to start having an effect.

You are doing well Paji. And the meeting with your cousin has probably made him realise that he's missing out on something good too, by looking at you and seeing a positive progress.

Well done, keep it up.

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in any kind of addiction physical dependence is the first thing that you have to fight but the psychological dependence is the big problem to get rid of.being a medical professional i can tell you this.congrats man u have won over both the physical and psychological dependence but at times there is a tendency to fall back.try never to sit alone doing nothing.have some KIRTAN played by your side always so that you never feel alone plus the positive vibes from devotional music will keep the negative thoughts away from you.

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I don't know whether I sound mad but I felt some sort of warmth taking over my body and I freaked out and stopped.

Meditation enables you to get in touch with your true self and bring calm to the body.

I guess you must be feeling like a new born baby. If your senses have been dead from your addictions, you will be waking up to a new world. Everything seems brighter and clearer. The feelings which were dulled out before will be returning. Well, sounds exciting. (to rediscover your true self which you just buried under)

I was just going to suggest swimming as an exercise mainly because it does not tire the muscles as much as exercise on the ground. It is also the best exercise to do in the winter. You get a complete workout too.

Another thing I noticed is that before I used to drink because it used to bring out a funny side in me and give me confidence to be talkative etc (I'm usually a shy person without a drink) but today I was fine. I had plenty to talk about and I just felt comfortable.

Yes you are fine, just happened to fall on the mucky side of the fence. Now all you need to do is climb over taking care of the existing thorns and jump victoriously onto the other side.

Last night I tried to do some reading before bed but I got bored quick.

Would you like to try children's stories instead on sikhnet. Well I am saying this just because I read them sometimes and find them interesting and able to hold my attention longer. They are quite informative as well.

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Let's talk about yayo, charlie, coke, chitta or whatever people want to call it.

OP, realise that alcohol is a powerful substance. But our body is also something that tries to protect itself. That's why excess alcohol makes us drowsy and we eventually fall asleep, puke or whatever. It's our own bodies way of protecting us from further damage, because in excess, alcohol actually works like a poison in our system which our body has to process to remove from us. Too much over time starts to effect our mind and organs, especially the liver - leading to a number of complications.

Now, as you know, you can get to the point where your body would normally shut down in reaction to alcohol overload, but throw charlie in the mix and it somehow overrides our bodies natural defense systems, giving you the allusion of feeling fine (when our body already has more alcohol than it can handle), then people proceed to have a load more alcohol. Think about it logically - your body is already reached the limit of the alcohol it can process - and charlie's got you throwing in loads more. What will be the consequence?

Once the charlie wears off, the reason you're feeling like sh1t is because you've pushed your body way past its limit and it is trying to recover. When you're young you might be able to get away with that a few times but very soon, you're likely to permanently damage yourself beyond repair.

Then let's look at it from a neurological point of view. Our brains are made up of a finely balanced electrical/chemical system. Charlie essentially has you producing an excess amount of a chemical neurotransmitter called dopamine in your brain which is what makes you feel the way you do. The high levels of dopamine that get released are abnormal to our normal functioning. Do this too much and you can permanently change the structure of your brain in a very negative way. From what I've seen the most common result is the development of paranoia schizophrenia, ranging from paranoid thoughts to actually hallucinating - seeing and hearing things that don't exist. Once you get there - you're f**ked. Then you'll have to take mind numbing drugs like temazepam (aka fraggle juice) which will have you mentally numbed up and putting on a whole bunch of flab in no time.

My advice: think selfishly about yourself and your health and future. Think about your reputation and the reputation of your family - even if this is sh1t, you don't want to make it even worse. Then think about the reputation of your wider community - Sikhs. We've got enough issues we have to deal with as it is. Tell yourself you refuse to add to them.

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Let's talk about yayo, charlie, coke, chitta or whatever people want to call it.

OP, realise that alcohol is a powerful substance. But our body is also something that tries to protect itself. That's why excess alcohol makes us drowsy and we eventually fall asleep, puke or whatever. It's our own bodies way of protecting us from further damage, because in excess, alcohol actually works like a poison in our system which our body has to process to remove from us. Too much over time starts to effect our mind and organs, especially the liver - leading to a number of complications.

Now, as you know, you can get to the point where your body would normally shut down in reaction to alcohol overload, but throw charlie in the mix and it somehow overrides our bodies natural defense systems, giving you the allusion of feeling fine (when our body already has more alcohol than it can handle), then people proceed to have a load more alcohol. Think about it logically - your body is already reached the limit of the alcohol it can process - and charlie's got you throwing in loads more. What will be the consequence?

Once the charlie wears off, the reason you're feeling like sh1t is because you've pushed your body way past its limit and it is trying to recover. When you're young you might be able to get away with that a few times but very soon, you're likely to permanently damage yourself beyond repair.

Then let's look at it from a neurological point of view. Our brains are made up of a finely balanced electrical/chemical system. Charlie essentially has you producing an excess amount of a chemical neurotransmitter called dopamine in your brain which is what makes you feel the way you do. The high levels of dopamine that get released are abnormal to our normal functioning. Do this too much and you can permanently change the structure of your brain in a very negative way. From what I've seen the most common result is the development of paranoia schizophrenia, ranging from paranoid thoughts to actually hallucinating - seeing and hearing things that don't exist. Once you get there - you're f**ked. Then you'll have to take mind numbing drugs like temazepam (aka fraggle juice) which will have you mentally numbed up and putting on a whole bunch of flab in no time.

My advice: think selfishly about yourself and your health and future. Think about your reputation and the reputation of your family - even if this is sh1t, you don't want to make it even worse. Then think about the reputation of your wider community - Sikhs. We've got enough issues we have to deal with as it is. Tell yourself you refuse to add to them.

Good detailed response.
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The situation at home is really building up in me now. Theres things that my family don't tell me and keep me hidden from, my family is not your normal family. They are constantly arguing getting on each others nerves, theres not a single moments peace. Im still not keen on opening up about the situation and bringing it forward because I'm afraid you lot would think, wow what a effed up bunch! I don't know whether its me being paranoid but from what I can hear and the arguments that go on, things are at breaking point.

Don't kid yourself, this isn't uncommon in Panjabi families.

I've seen some of the most 'respected' families (including Gurdwara pardaans), have all manner of skeletons in their closet.

Man up brother. You've come so far.

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Theres things that my family don't tell me and keep me hidden from, my family is not your normal family. They are constantly arguing getting on each others nerves, theres not a single moments peace.

A problem shared is a problem halved. There are so many problems in the world that everybody experiences. Not everyone has a happy family, you just have to adjust to it and play your part in being part of the family. Maybe if you can share your problem you will realise that others are going through the same too. It will possibly stop it being the focus of your mind and you can possibly get on to concentrate on other things.

I personally think that your mother would be the happiest person on earth if you told her that you intend to quit drinking and drugs. I think she will be able to provide you the much needed support which you seemed to be craving for earlier. However her ability to do this for you can be getting drowned into this main big problem which seems to have overcome your family.

Your family will also be an important part of you from now on, if you intend on spending more time at home. It will help you greatly if you manage to develop the right attitude and the right interpersonal relationships in your family too.

If I get started on my family............ (and they are none drinkers too ............ you would .. well lets just place a fullstop there now.)

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Guest Jacfsing2

DAY 24 - 25/01/2016

I woke up early hours this morning again and couldn't sleep, got ready for work as usual and went in. Today felt a little weird for me, it didnt feel like a typical Monday. I forgot my smoothie at home so I struggle to wake up today at work! Theres a few birthdays coming up at work and our team usually go out for each one and every time i have to keep reminded them that I'm not drinking but one thing I've noticed is that before when I used to tell them that, I had doubt in myself. Slowly that doubt in my self is going down. I know I can turn down a drink when I want to, I just need to learn to be in total control. I walked home from work (trying to keep up a little fitness) and I usually walk home with my headphones in and music on. After about 10 minutes into my walk I took them out and just recited the mool mantar slowly for the rest of the journey (about 50 mins). My mind was wandering again and there was stupid thoughts going through my head like flashbacks from the benders I've been on but i really tried hard to focus.

The situation at home is really building up in me now. Theres things that my family don't tell me and keep me hidden from, my family is not your normal family. They are constantly arguing getting on each others nerves, theres not a single moments peace. Im still not keen on opening up about the situation and bringing it forward because I'm afraid you lot would think, wow what a effed up bunch! I don't know whether its me being paranoid but from what I can hear and the arguments that go on, things are at breaking point. What I've noticed is that before when I would be drinking I wouldn't be at home as much and if I was, I would go out to avoid listening to or dealing with all of this. Now that I'm home all the time I'm having to deal with this head on and i take stress on easily

One thing I forgot to post before is that my drink and drug habits got so bad last year that I hit my car. After my accident I parked the car up on the driveway and haven't driven it since August last year. This week I got it booked in for an MOT and got the road tax done it. Im going to get my insurance sorted on it again and start driving. I feel I'm in a better position than I was but it will be a big test for me to see how I behave once I am legit on the road again

You've almost got a full month! Stay Strong!
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Guest skaur8888

Yesterday, Basics of Sikhi posted about an addiction programme based on Sikhi on their facebook, sorry I couldn't paste a link.

In one of your posts you said you avoided going to gurdwara because of people's comments, please don't let them put you off going. I understand what you mean though as I used to worry about going on my own and what people thought as they had family to go with and I was alone. But that was wrong as the main reason to go is to be close to our Guru. The more I went I realised how much I was inspired by the sangat, just by seeing how much love they have for our Guru, nothing had to be said you can just see the love they have, these are the people to focus on not the ones who make comments. You might even inspire the people yourself, just like you're doing on this site - so please think again about going.

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