Why Isnt It Ok To Have Sex Before Marrige?

[Guest F10wer]

Why isn't it OK to have sex/relationships before marriage?

The Guru says, live a normal life, and a normal life is to date, fall in love, fall out of love, find the person you connect with and that includes having relationships and sex before marriage. Because I can't see myself marrying someone i don't have a connection with.Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated, we are human beings.

I have tried to live a life for waheguru (praying, living in fear of doing something wrong) and realized now that I didn't develop and grow mentally.

You have to make mistakes in life to learn and grow as a human being, you can't be afraid of falling in love, dating, having relationships, because that's not what life is about. It's about taking risks and just live! Do you agree or not with me or not? If not why?

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Why isn't it OK to have sex/relationships before marriage?

The Guru says, live a normal life, and a normal life is to date, fall in love, fall out of love, find the person you connect with and that includes having relationships and sex before marriage. Because I can't see myself marrying someone i don't have a connection with.Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated, we are human beings.

I have tried to live a life for waheguru (praying, living in fear of doing something wrong) and realized now that I didn't develop and grow mentally.

You have to make mistakes in life to learn and grow as a human being, you can't be afraid of falling in love, dating, having relationships, because that's not what life is about. It's about taking risks and just live! Do you agree or not with me or not? If not why?

The true sense of dating was to meet a partner to get married; however, today it's just a *fun, social gathering between a boy and a girl who act like they can do whatever. I can understand you wanting to *court, (because dating in non-Sikh culture is just perverted), where you meet a person keep strict guidelines on what you'll do and the end result to get married, (which is totally fine.) Sex outside of marriage is a Bhujar Kurehit, despite everything else mentioned this is the only issue which I would say a strict NO! (The other issues aren't important to me if I was honest). Sex outside of marriage causes immense emotional stress and virginity is something most sane people should care about. (I don't know how bad the importance of virginity is given to the western countries that aren't the U.S.)

[luckysingh99]

every male and female that is NOT your husband/wife is your Brother or Sister.. So how can you possibly think of having it off with your bro or sis?....muslims may do this freely but Sikhs don't.

[Guest Sat]

Hi flower, I agree with you on everything except the sex before marriage bit. I think if you're strong and your partner respects u enough,u Can have a relationship without having sex before.

I am in the same boat as u, I used to have ALOT of friends, used to go oh clubbing, to eat, all with friends. I cut most of them off an started living a boring life with a couple of friends that I don't even like, who dont drink but are jealous Negative people. In the last 9 years, I've basically gone backwards and had lost my confidence and feistiness which I used to have ALOT of!

I haven't dated, I've been too scared of being judged and rejected. So I'm just about to start now. Ive had relationships when i was younger and gotten to know a couple of guys recently that have gone really badly, but havent dated, just met up a couple of times and been rejected. :$

I'm just going to try and stay in Chardi Kala (high spirits/positive) even though everyone in my life atm is negative bad sangat and try and find positive sangat and live a good happy fun filled(but still staying good) life

[Guest F10wer]

I'll never get married if I look at every guy as my brother!

[FriendlyStranger]

"The Guru says, live a normal life, and a normal life is to date, fall in love, fall out of love, find the person you connect with and that includes having relationships and sex before marriage."

You're making that up. Where does the Guru ever tell us to live a normal life(normal is always changing anyways), and where does he ever tell us that the lifestyle that you have outlined is what we should be striving for? It's ok if you don't want to follow Sikhi, but don't lie. The Guru says the opposite, he says that the life of a Sikh is not only unique, but difficult as well.

"The devotees. lifestyle is unique and distinct; they follow the most difficult path. They renounce greed,

avarice, egotism and desire; they do not talk too much. The path they take is sharper than a two-edged sword, and finer than

a hair."

-Guru Amar Das ang 918

A Sikh has to conquer their desire and lust. Giving into desire and lust like you're suggesting is not in line with the Guru's teaching at all.

"You have to make mistakes in life to learn and grow as a human being"

Sure, but if you can learn everything and become a perfect and saintly person on your own, then why follow the Guru at all? Sounds like an excuse.

"you can't be afraid of falling in love, dating, having relationships, because that's not what life is about"

Again, not what the Guru is saying, just the meaning of life that hollywood has fed you. The purpose of life for a Sikh is to serve God's creation and experience God. Simple as that.

[sikhni777]

Why isn't it OK to have sex/relationships before marriage?

It is not only Sikhism that forbids it but other religions as well. In fact what I am going to tell you now, I read in a Jehovah's witness book when I was 16. Now at the age of 44, it finally makes all the sense why it is best to abstain from fornication.

(The years before marriage are meant to be for preparing you for the life you will face ahead. So use it to acquire all the skills which you will need like cooking, cleaning, earning a living, socialising with people (all types youngsters, adults and elders too. Sex forms a unique bond between husband and wife which helps to keep them close. Knowing that your partner has shared this experience with someone else is very painful. This is why adultery leads to divorce. The knowledge that your partner has had this experience with someone else can make you hate them so much that you do not want to see them again.

If you abstain before marriage, there is a greater likelihood that you will be faithful to your partner after marriage too. This is important to make your marriage last. Knowing that your partner is being unfaithful behind your back can again be very painful and stressful to handle)

God meant humans to be happy. That is why he has given us rules to live by. If we obey we will live a peaceful life. If we disobey, we suffer for it.

The Guru says, live a normal life, and a normal life is to date, fall in love, fall out of love, find the person you connect with and that includes having relationships and sex before marriage.

Could you quote exactly which Guru said this ? Do bother to read and find out exactly what Guru Ji says.

Because I can't see myself marrying someone i don't have a connection with.Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated, we are human beings.

Having a connection with someone does not mean you have to connect with your body. You have to have the same sort of thoughts about things. You need to be on the same level of things. Adjustments need to be made after marriage. YOu cannot meet someone who will connect to you 100%. You need to accept your partner the way they are and help and encourage them in their own personal development.

Love and having sex are two different things.

I have tried to live a life for waheguru (praying, living in fear of doing something wrong) and realized now that I didn't develop and grow mentally.

Yes you have done well. You have to keep doing it. People who live for Waheguru should never feel that they have wasted their life. That is what we were meant to do all the time. You have to keep your devotion up and keep going the right way. Keep yourself motivated by reading sakhiya, good books on sikhi, reading peoples experiences and trying to understand deeper what Gurbani is trying to tell us.

Whoever gives you the thought that you did not develop mentally is wrong.

You have to make mistakes in life to learn and grow as a human being, you can't be afraid of falling in love, dating, having relationships, because that's not what life is about. It's about taking risks and just live! Do you agree or not with me or not? If not why?

When you are young life may seem very boring and you feel nothings is happening. Use this time to read and build up your knowledge and learn new skills. You dont need many relationships. You only need to devote yourself to that one partner who comes along. Many risks and difficulties will come to face you once you are married. You will so busy that you will look back and say - Oh Boy when is this going to stop? Believe me it only happens that you are expected to get busier and busier and your responsibility increases. Your youth will never come back. So use your body to do as much seva as you can preferably in the Guradwara for you never know when next you will get the time to do so. Use your bright shiny eyes to read the word of God, for that time will creep upon you when you cannot see clearly. Then you will wonder - what you wasted all your time on.

Everyday a Gursikh faces a risk. Did you wake up at Amrit vela or not ? Why ? You have risked loosing your day.

Did you do your path today? No? why not?

Those are the risks we face everyday.

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die:

Yes you will die indeed if you decide to take risks like being on a wild behaviour let loose girl (wanting the most excitement before dying)

God has sent us to earth with a purpose. The sooner we realise it the better for us. The sooner we wake up, the better for us. READ GURBANI AND WISEN UP!!!!!!

[StarStriker]

"The Guru says, live a normal life"

......oh really, could u tell us where guru ji said this. Puttin words in gurus mouth is the most disgraceful thing any1 can do, shame on ur type of fuddus. Ppl tryna make excuses for their own manmat/shortcomings, so they point fingers and drag our guru down with them, fitteh mooh!

[harsharan000]

Why isn't it OK to have sex/relationships before marriage?

Because to indulge in sex, not only for the married, but even for the single, it is getting blown by the worst of weapons (though subtle) created by Kal Purukh in order to keep the jeevas tied in the mayavee creation far from Akal Purukh.

Monkeys, dogs, cats, etc.... do have sexual relations here and there.

But we doing the same?

Are we mad?

Where has our shame and decency gone? Moreover our budhee?

All the 5 passions or vices, are very powerful and bad; but the worst I woul dsay is lust or kaam, which is indulging in sex, this clouds our chit, pollutes our minds with filth....thus we can never be able to do the real job for what we have come here, and that is to do His Bhajan Bandagee.

Life is uncertain and short. So let us not waste this golden opportunity of the human life, to meet once and forever our beloved wahiguru Akal Purukh.

Let us channelize and turn the kaam in us, into love for the Lotus feet of Wahiguru.

Sat Sree Akal.

[Guest XYZ]

Lets leave religion out of this. Would you run away if your GF got pregnant. Are you ready to take that burden or are a chicken. There are other reasons why you should not have sex before marriage. Stop bashing religion about sex before marriage. You are dumb to figure out why people should not have sex before marriage. There are common facts and well as Scientific facts to consider. Do you believe in unwanted pregnancies. Do you believe in Abortion. What if you were an unwanted child or you should have been aborted. How would you feel if your parents did this before marriage. Think about these common thing before you decide to ruin some girls life.