Why Our So Many Sikh Men Mama Boys

[Ranjeet01]

I absolutely agree with you. There's so much truth in the above.

Without wishing to reveal too much about myself, the lessons learned through falling and then recovering from those falls are invaluable. You could have someone sitting on your shoulder for decades, telling you to do this and not do that, but until you feel the "pain" of life yourself, you'll never learn those lessons that will stand you in good stead until the end of life.

It is from these experiences that being in Chardikala comes from.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Well I am discussing in the context of this topic which is are Sikh men momma's boys.

Furthermore, the average Sikh is a normal human being with all the character flaws. They are not Gurus.

Bhai Taru Singh? (If you want a normal person)

[Ranjeet01]

Bhai Taru Singh? (If you want a normal person)

There are exceptions.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

There are exceptions.

? Are you saying a woman can't raise children?

[Ranjeet01]

? Are you saying a woman can't raise children?

Doing a bit of trolling are we ;)?

Just having discussion with JKV and MisterrSingh, expressing some thoughts, asking some questions.

No one says that women cannot raise children.

If you have something to contribute to the discussion, then you should present your views to the rest of the Sangat.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Doing a bit of trolling are we ;)?

Just having discussion with JKV and MisterrSingh, expressing some thoughts, asking some questions.

No one says that women cannot raise children.

If you have something to contribute to the discussion, then you should present your views to the rest of the Sangat.

I'm not trolling, I listed actual examples of mothers raising kids and making great men. In 1984-86 many Singhs became Shaheed, but that didn't stop them from raising their children, (they can't all be exceptions?)

[Ranjeet01]

I'm not trolling, I listed actual examples of mothers raising kids and making great men. In 1984-86 many Singhs became Shaheed, but that didn't stop them from raising their children, (they can't all be exceptions?)

I think we are getting off the topic somewhat. We are talking about Sikh men being momma's boys and what that actually means.

Those mothers whose husband's had been shaheeded did not molly coddle their sons and gave them the space to be men, maybe they had to become the men in their families because they had to take on the extra responsibilities.

[Pakandi baba]

So OP, you think getting your own house & moving out is 'being a an' do you even know about our culture? {good bits} we are not Caucasians who leave their parents to rot and just concern ourselves with our wife & children, this is NOT manly or our roots. Something that's been happening for years now.

[Singh559]

We dont look to western sense of being a man. In our culture loving your parents and being close to them throughout life is a good quality in a man. even today in India we are given examples of ideal sons like Sarvan Kumar who was a devoted son till his last moments. In our culture, no matter how big you get, even if you become a great King or Saint you will always be a child for your mother. Even in Islamic culture loving your mother is considered a virtuous quality of a faithful Muslim. Prophet Muhammad said Jannat can be found in the feet of one's mother.

We dont subscribe to western notions of being a "man". For them a so called man is a detached emotionless terminator robot guy who feels no sense of love or belonging to his family. Thats why you will notice western kids feel embarrassed to be seen with their parents. You think we should look up to such a culture? Never!

Nailed it brother

[sikhni777]

Perhaps we have had a lengthy discussion on mama's boys. There is a new trend which greatly affects some people. This is when girls refuse to get married and want to live in their parents house. I have come across so many stories where the girls just don't respond to boys when approached for marriage ( through their parents of course.)

1. A Sikh guy confessed to my husband that he is so afraid of getting married because all these girls you see in the guradwara wearing chuniya are totally the opposite in uni. Their parents just dont know what is going on.

2. A lady approached a relative of ours and asked him to go and pose as a builder and ask her daughter through trickery why she kept turning down all the rishte. She replied that she was leading a first class life with no morgage to pay, no expenses, cooked meals and no tensions. Why should she step into all those problems. That is why she kept turning down rishte.

3. One of my nephews was so frustrating with the inability of getting a life partner because all the girls insisted that they are not willing to give up their drinking and partying habits. He was literally crying ( I mean in tears because he has now been working for a number of years and wanted to settle down). He firmly developed a belief that this generation is lost. It is the next generation which is going to learn from the mistakes of this one and marriage will become easier. These are the girls who will learn from their mistakes and try to rectify them in the future generation. (You can only loose the way so much. It will finally catch up with you and you have to turn back and make the relevant changes)

The times ahead have changed and probably people dont realise it until you need to get married - that girls are just not available.

Mums are steeped up in fashion, work, high life, pleasures like clubbing, drinking etc that they have completely forgotten to instill values in their children especially the girls.

So a new word maybe coming into the vocabulary soon - papa's girls or mama's girls.

These are the girls who are now dragging the boys down with them. Some Sikh boys will confess that they would rather marry someone from another religion because there is a better chance that they will try to understand the turban wearing guys better.

4. I have been approached by 2 different ladies on 2 occasions or more where they confide in me that their daughters who are aged 30 and above have simply refused to get married. However they believe that some guy somewhere may be able to change their minds. They have requested me to suggest someone. These ladies must be totally distressed in order to come and confide in a complete stranger. These particular girls had their own houses as well. The ladies told me that housing would not be a problem for anyone who wanted to marry them, if only someone somewhere could be found !!!!!!