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Why Our So Many Sikh Men Mama Boys


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I sometimes wonder what is meant by being a momma's boy.

In some ways every Sikh male is a momma's boy. The mother-son relationship is a unique special relationship. The mother is placed upon a pedestal, because they give birth.

However, a mother was a female way before they even became a mother. That means that they will have all the virtues and flaws of female-hood.

The question would be can mother teach a boy to become a man?

Does a mother manipulate her status to her son to meet her feminine imperative?

Can a mother be a detriment for her son to reach his full potential as a man?

a woman can be the making of her husband , son , grandson ...if she recognises her own value as a sikh , until then her motivation will be from a self-important place . I cannot say I am a good mother because I can only strive to be worthy of the sewa , I never felt ownership of my kids and this somehow felt strange because everyone around me seem so possessive of theirs , don't get me wrong I would do my utmost to bring them up in SIkhi but I know that they are their own destinymakers under Waheguru ji's glance of grace. They will live their lives and earn from their karams I can only show them the pitfalls in thinking and acting from a maya-driven place and pray that Waheguru ji blesses them with sumat.

I am not valuable because of my kids , i am duty bound just like them to travel sikhi's path too ... and achieve life's mission too

if a mother doesn't model female characteristics that are worthy in sikh terms and fails to make her son's thinking complete i.e. able to see beyond his sex then he will fail to understand what is desirable in a woman to wed , to trust , to be able to see females as the same essentially on a soul level because the maya level bodies/appearences will trick him. in other words he will fail as a sikh

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We dont look to western sense of being a man. In our culture loving your parents and being close to them throughout life is a good quality in a man. even today in India we are given examples of ideal

Staying at home, even after marriage, is not what a mommas boy is. A grown man who is still afraid of his mother, cant tell her no, make his own decisions, needs his mom for every small or big thing e

It's like this in many homes nowadays penji. I see if the daughter is good in her in laws, then the nau will be a right *****. Even if the sas is nice, there's nauhan that will confuse them on purpos

Jkv/MisterrSingh

I think part of making of a man is allowing your son to go out and make his own karam.

He needs to go out in the big wide world and make his own mistakes. Making mistakes is also part of Maharaj's hukam as it is where one learns and grows from one's struggles.

However, it can be very difficult to let them do that.

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Guest Jacfsing2

I sometimes wonder what is meant by being a momma's boy.

In some ways every Sikh male is a momma's boy. The mother-son relationship is a unique special relationship. The mother is placed upon a pedestal, because they give birth.

However, a mother was a female way before they even became a mother. That means that they will have all the virtues and flaws of female-hood.

The question would be can mother teach a boy to become a man?

Does a mother manipulate her status to her son to meet her feminine imperative?

Can a mother be a detriment for her son to reach his full potential as a man?

This is actually the weakest argument for this entire thing. You do realize that Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Ram Das Ji was an orphan and didn't really have much of a paternal figure, (unless you consider Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Angad Dev Ji and Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Amar Das Ji), he was raised by his nani when his parents passed away. Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji didn't live with Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib Ji for more than 3 years, while living with Mata Gujri until her Shaheedi. People are not great because of gender, but qualities.

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This is actually the weakest argument for this entire thing. You do realize that Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Ram Das Ji was an orphan and didn't really have much of a paternal figure, (unless you consider Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Angad Dev Ji and Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Amar Das Ji), he was raised by his nani when his parents passed away. Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji didn't live with Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib Ji for more than 3 years, while living with Mata Gujri until her Shaheedi. People are not great because of gender, but qualities.

Well I am discussing in the context of this topic which is are Sikh men momma's boys.

Furthermore, the average Sikh is a normal human being with all the character flaws. They are not Gurus.

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Jkv/MisterrSingh

I think part of making of a man is allowing your son to go out and make his own karam.

He needs to go out in the big wide world and make his own mistakes. Making mistakes is also part of Maharaj's hukam as it is where one learns and grows from one's struggles.

However, it can be very difficult to let them do that.

I absolutely agree with you. There's so much truth in the above.

Without wishing to reveal too much about myself, the lessons learned through falling and then recovering from those falls are invaluable. You could have a guardian angel sitting on your shoulder for decades, telling you to do this and not do that, but until you feel the "pain" of life yourself, you'll never learn those lessons that will stand you in good stead until the end of life.

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I absolutely agree with you. There's so much truth in the above.

Without wishing to reveal too much about myself, the lessons learned through falling and then recovering from those falls are invaluable. You could have someone sitting on your shoulder for decades, telling you to do this and not do that, but until you feel the "pain" of life yourself, you'll never learn those lessons that will stand you in good stead until the end of life.

It is from these experiences that being in Chardikala comes from.

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Guest Jacfsing2

Well I am discussing in the context of this topic which is are Sikh men momma's boys.

Furthermore, the average Sikh is a normal human being with all the character flaws. They are not Gurus.

Bhai Taru Singh? (If you want a normal person)
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? Are you saying a woman can't raise children?

Doing a bit of trolling are we ;)?

Just having discussion with JKV and MisterrSingh, expressing some thoughts, asking some questions.

No one says that women cannot raise children.

If you have something to contribute to the discussion, then you should present your views to the rest of the Sangat.

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Guest Jacfsing2

Doing a bit of trolling are we ;)?

Just having discussion with JKV and MisterrSingh, expressing some thoughts, asking some questions.

No one says that women cannot raise children.

If you have something to contribute to the discussion, then you should present your views to the rest of the Sangat.

I'm not trolling, I listed actual examples of mothers raising kids and making great men. In 1984-86 many Singhs became Shaheed, but that didn't stop them from raising their children, (they can't all be exceptions?)
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I'm not trolling, I listed actual examples of mothers raising kids and making great men. In 1984-86 many Singhs became Shaheed, but that didn't stop them from raising their children, (they can't all be exceptions?)

I think we are getting off the topic somewhat. We are talking about Sikh men being momma's boys and what that actually means.

Those mothers whose husband's had been shaheeded did not molly coddle their sons and gave them the space to be men, maybe they had to become the men in their families because they had to take on the extra responsibilities.

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We dont look to western sense of being a man. In our culture loving your parents and being close to them throughout life is a good quality in a man. even today in India we are given examples of ideal sons like Sarvan Kumar who was a devoted son till his last moments. In our culture, no matter how big you get, even if you become a great King or Saint you will always be a child for your mother. Even in Islamic culture loving your mother is considered a virtuous quality of a faithful Muslim. Prophet Muhammad said Jannat can be found in the feet of one's mother.

We dont subscribe to western notions of being a "man". For them a so called man is a detached emotionless terminator robot guy who feels no sense of love or belonging to his family. Thats why you will notice western kids feel embarrassed to be seen with their parents. You think we should look up to such a culture? Never!

Nailed it brother

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