Love Or Lust Confused

[harkirat23]

i had a crush on a girl but problem is that I am not sure weather i really love her. what to do i don't undetstand.

Go and say hello to her, even if it makes you look like a fool. You know the old adage, 'only fools fall in love' don't you? Go and make a fool of yourself first. If your effing ego can withstand it, then make polite conversation, keep it short. Talk about the weather, plants and shrubs that are parenials, deciduous or evergreen! Observe her reactions, whether she is too shy or reserved or not responsive enough to your advances. If she is interested, she will make convesation with you, if not, she will tell you where to go. It always works. Once she SHOUTS at you and tells you to b.gg.r off you will soon land on planet earth from 'cloud 9' with a loud ear-splitting thunderous sound which will soon bring you to your senses! What a effing loser.

Did your parents ever teach you anything about 'Love' ever? If so, did they also teach you what would be a decent thing to do in case you are diagnosed with the thing called 'LOVE' as well?

The lady in question has pride. She has her own 'space' too, in case, you have not noticed. You have to learn to respect both and move rather gingerly if you have any respect for her. You definitely, wanna avoid shocking her. Judging from your post. it seems to me, you have no clue what the hell you are feeling. Have you ever heard of a thing called 'infatuation?' No, never, isn't it??????

Which part of you feels your 'lust or Love' if you don't mind my posing this question to you? It is all in your mind, isn't it? You don't really have an answer, do you? No, not really. Take my word for it, only Fools fall in love and if you are prepared to class yourself as that then by all means, give her a RED ROSE!!! What a Fool!

[jkvlondon]

Go and say hello to her, even if it makes you look like a fool. You know the old adage, 'only fools fall in love' don't you? Go and make a fool of yourself first. If your effing ego can withstand it, then make polite conversation, keep it short. Talk about the weather, plants and shrubs that are parenials, deciduous or evergreen! Observe her reactions, whether she is too shy or reserved or not responsive enough to your advances. If she is interested, she will make convesation with you, if not, she will tell you where to go. It always works. Once she SHOUTS at you and tells you to b.gg.r off you will soon land on planet earth from 'cloud 9' with a loud ear-splitting thunderous sound which will soon bring you to your senses! What a effing loser.

Did your parents ever teach you anything about 'Love' ever? If so, did they also teach you what would be a decent thing to do in case you are diagnosed with the thing called 'LOVE' as well?

The lady in question has pride. She has her own 'space' too, in case, you have not noticed. You have to learn to respect both and move rather gingerly if you have any respect for her. You definitely, wanna avoid shocking her. Judging from your post. it seems to me, you have no clue what the hell you are feeling. Have you ever heard of a thing called 'infatuation?' No, never, isn't it??????

Which part of you feels your 'lust or Love' if you don't mind my posing this question to you? It is all in your mind, isn't it? You don't really have an answer, do you? No, not really. Take my word for it, only Fools fall in love and if you are prepared to class yourself as that then by all means, give her a RED ROSE!!! What a Fool!

yep having a conversation like you're doing an interview for gardener's world is going to do it ...(sigh)

first sort out your own intentions and depth of feeling ...let it not be the case that you are really not serious and she becomes interested because that will be messy both ways.

Observe her interactions with others , (not saying you are not already) find out what she is like as a person ...you may find that despite being amritdhari she is not really a nice person or very materialistic etc ...then make your mind up when you want to talk to her ...This tip has saved my sons from heartache ...

[sikhni777]

Amritdhari ladies have married men who are not amritdhari. Those men have changed in the course of time.

One example is my in laws. My mum in law - amritdhari and my dad in law normal sharabi kababi lived together for 20 years plus. They had 6 kids. Now my dad in law took amrit.

Therefore it is the girls choice - she may change another guy. Is that better or just marry an amritdhari boy instead?

My niece married an amtitdhari boy - he ran away with a muslim girl - and cut his hair and abandoned his home too. Only boy and she is now alone childless too.

Everything is in Gods hands. We don't choose the future.

[singhnihk]

Go and say hello to her, even if it makes you look like a fool. You know the old adage, 'only fools fall in love' don't you? Go and make a fool of yourself first. If your effing ego can withstand it, then make polite conversation, keep it short. Talk about the weather, plants and shrubs that are parenials, deciduous or evergreen! Observe her reactions, whether she is too shy or reserved or not responsive enough to your advances. If she is interested, she will make convesation with you, if not, she will tell you where to go. It always works. Once she SHOUTS at you and tells you to b.gg.r off you will soon land on planet earth from 'cloud 9' with a loud ear-splitting thunderous sound which will soon bring you to your senses! What a effing loser.

Did your parents ever teach you anything about 'Love' ever? If so, did they also teach you what would be a decent thing to do in case you are diagnosed with the thing called 'LOVE' as well?

The lady in question has pride. She has her own 'space' too, in case, you have not noticed. You have to learn to respect both and move rather gingerly if you have any respect for her. You definitely, wanna avoid shocking her. Judging from your post. it seems to me, you have no clue what the hell you are feeling. Have you ever heard of a thing called 'infatuation?' No, never, isn't it??????

Which part of you feels your 'lust or Love' if you don't mind my posing this question to you? It is all in your mind, isn't it? You don't really have an answer, do you? No, not really. Take my word for it, only Fools fall in love and if you are prepared to class yourself as that then by all means, give her a RED ROSE!!! What a Fool!

This is so comical!! What do you mean by 'a decent thing to do' sir/madam?

[Balkaar]

Everything is in Gods hands. We don't choose the future.

You need to be very careful about how you understand this notion Kaur Ji. Interpreting it as literally as you just did basically gives people a licence to do whatever the hell they like, claiming God's plan as their justification.

"No, no Mr policeman sir, I didn't choose to make a necklace out of my neighbours' ears. It was God's plan for me, everything is in his hands".

God has vested us with freewill and responsibility. We aren't simply puppets.

Amritdhari ladies have married men who are not amritdhari. Those men have changed in the course of time.

One example is my in laws. My mum in law - amritdhari and my dad in law normal sharabi kababi lived together for 20 years plus. They had 6 kids. Now my dad in law took amrit.

Apnaay have a very trying habit of treating subjective personal anecdotes as though they were the unquestionable laws of the universe. For every amritdhari lady you claim has reformed her mona husband, I can show you two whose husbands have lived and died as drunks.

[singhnihk]

You need to be very careful about how you understand this notion Kaur Ji. Interpreting it as literally as you just did basically gives people a licence to do whatever the hell they like, claiming God's plan as their justification.

"No, no Mr policeman sir, I didn't choose to make a necklace out of my neighbours' ears. It was God's plan for me, everything is in his hands".

God has vested us with freewill and responsibility. We aren't simply puppets.

Apnaay have a very trying habit of treating personal anecdotes as though they were the laws of the universe. For every amritdhari lady you can claim to have reformed her mona husband, I can show you two whose husbands have lived and died as drunks.

Agree.

[sikhni777]

The point of the matter is be open minded, follow the rehat and do good as far as you can within your ability. Marry amritdhari people as far as you can. At the end of the day the future is not in your hands. Live the moment and try your best. Of course there are people who will twist the truth and have excuses to commit every sin possible.

[ramghariasingh]

litmus test : would you :

1. stop eating meat , drinking alcohol, grow your kesh

2. learn your banian and take amrit, be a proper khalsa that she deserves

3. Ask for her hand in marriage

or not

if you can do all three levels without resentment or reservation it is probaly love else it's just lust

i don't drink. but yes i eat meat. regarding keeping kesh i want to keep kesh but my family didn't allow me to keep kesh.

i read bani. i had learned some of the banis. yes one day i will be a proper amritdhari.

right know i cant ask her hand for marrage because I am just 17 and she is 19.

[harkirat23]

This is so comical!! What do you mean by 'a decent thing to do' sir/madam?

Respecting the lady of your dreams. Showing consideration to her and not approaching her in an uncouth manner. One's initial conversation usually starts off with something interesting such as a hobby, sport, food, current affairs (news) but definitely never about the birds and the bees!! Never gossip either. You want to impress her with the fact that you are a decent person and not some 'cheap' person, therefore, keep your initial conversation polite, informal, innocent, respectable and decent. I hope this helps to clarify any further queries.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh, how do you know it's not infatuation?

Have you considered the practice of bride kidnapping?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_kidnapping

Daas thinks this is overly barbaric and savage. Daas opposes such things; (nobody should be this desperate of a loser)

i don't drink. but yes i eat meat. regarding keeping kesh i want to keep kesh but my family didn't allow me to keep kesh.

i read bani. i had learned some of the banis. yes one day i will be a proper amritdhari.

right know i cant ask her hand for marrage because I am just 17 and she is 19.

Have you even talked to this person if in the most regular way? Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!