Breakups - Looking for guidance

[Guest sewa]

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

[Guest XYZ]

My advice would be to do Simran, Paath, and believe in Shabad Gurbani. Getting a third person involved becomes the scapegoat. Along with all I have said first find out why is there a problem. Is this because of parental involvement is it because of a third person. Then separate yourselves from them  and you will find a solution to the problem. Remember even the Police do not like to get involved with domestic disputes because they will become a scapegoat. We lack our religion and are stuck into the world of Punjabi Tradition. Ask yourself what will Guru Jee Say and I want you to stop blaming yourself and do not think that you have committed a sin. Remember even Sajjan Tug was spared from his sin. Don't become an extremist learn to love.

[Guest learn]

1 hour ago, Guest sewa said:

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

Hi yes

 

I ended a relationship years ago and the Only thing that helped helped and healed me was my faith. 

 

Time and time again when I have felt let down in life by friends or a guy i have turned back to God and Truth . Now i try and keep holof it without having to learn the same lessons over and over again. 

 

The reality is that we're all on our own paths, nothing and no-one is guaranteed, noone is really there for anyone else. We can surround ourselves with people we're compatible with, but inevitably we are alone. However we can express love as God did and still does for Truth by expanding and teaching others once we ourselves have detached from the khel.

 

The death of others is a harsh lesson that nothing and no-one is forever so although it may sound harsh,we should learn this lesson sooner rather than later- then we can react a bit better when it our loved ones times come.

[EST1699]

This world is false and our human birth quest is to train our soul to be strong and not to fall in any of the weakness. We need to conquer our mind and that can be done with the support of sikhi. 

It it is true that we mostly remember Waheguru when we get hit bad times. He is saying that don't be sad and don't give up. Relationships are false and they are here "temporary". Follow the truth and conquer your weakness. This also reminds that your soul came to this land alone and will be leaving alone. Only your meditation, your deeds and love for Waheguru goes with soul and will be judged by dharamraj.

[simran345]

7 hours ago, Guest sewa said:

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

A previous thread: 

Another shabad, but sound quality not too good:

 

[simran345]

 

[harsharan000]

Guest Sewa jee,

sorry to learn about your friend´s bad phase. It is very hard to apply anything from the Bani now, as the mind is in a very stormy state.

You see, if we do not approach the Bani in our good times, in bad times, there is no guarantee, that we may benefit in case of need.

Not that the Bani is not efficient, but, it is our mind in a state of earthquake .... very bad.

Any how, if it helps in anyway,the Bani tells us the following Truth: Koor Raja, koor parja, koor sabh sansar...kis naal keejay dostee, sabh Jag chalanhaar.  Ekas bin, sabh dandh hae.

You see, all relations are based on karmic settlements, once the account in that relation is cleared, that relation consequently comes to an end.

Everything which starts, changes  or ends  is "koor", is "fanah".

Only Wahiguru Akal Purukh is changeless, is permanent, is eternal, is complete ...And in attaching our chits to His Lotus feet, through bhakti, lies our welfare, as it is the only true relationship.

He never betrays anybody, no matter how sinner one maybe, that is His beant wadeeayee, for that reason, He is also known as Dayal Purukh.

Tell your friend, the world has not come to an end because of this relationship, but to strengthen himself/herself at His Lotus Feet, and not to run away, but while being in the world, be grateful to Wahiguru, for awakening him at time from the influence of maya, in order to start walking forward, with the Light of His Naam, through Bhakti.

Sat Sree Akal.

[Guest Lessons]

On 04/08/2016 at 2:28 AM, Guest sewa said:

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

Breakups whether they be relationships, friendships, with family etc teach us impermanence and that noone is really there for Anyone else. Arguments, death, losing contact with others is God showing us we must walk in this life and on the path of bhagti alone. 

I learned this after my first breakup and continue to learn it to this day. 

We must learn independence and unconditional Love with no expectations and no warrant of return. God has that Love for us hence we fall time and time again and he forgives us and continues to Love us and fearlessly serve us our karams regardless, even if we scream at him and claim we hate Him. 

He knows all is for our Betterment. No-one stays, everyone dies whether before or after us. Sometimes I look around and Renember that everyone around me will be gone in a few decades..

That's when u realise you need to start on the path.