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What to do to have a happy married life


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Guest Thank ji

I totally understand kids suffer from it my older son notice all these things and upset. My husband come to home for 30min or 1 hour only all day stay outside even if i try to talk and say kids really miss him he left again. He left from home 2 weeks come back for 2 day or 3 again left my kids are really miss him but he ignored all of us.i do japji sahib path and mool mantar from so.many years but i don't understand why our life have these issue .now i feel depressed too because its affect on our kids too.i don't want divorce because my kids need father too and i am very strong to face all these but right now our condition wrose because he not coming home for 2 or 3weeks. I am praying to GOD he will understand. He saying only enjoy your life .Don't think about me i am gonna enjoy my life.

Please advise me if any bani make me more strong so i will give good life to my kids.and my husband will come back in family. Kids really need him.

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On 3/31/2020 at 7:01 PM, Guest Thank ji said:

I totally understand kids suffer from it my older son notice all these things and upset. My husband come to home for 30min or 1 hour only all day stay outside even if i try to talk and say kids really miss him he left again. He left from home 2 weeks come back for 2 day or 3 again left my kids are really miss him but he ignored all of us.i do japji sahib path and mool mantar from so.many years but i don't understand why our life have these issue .now i feel depressed too because its affect on our kids too.i don't want divorce because my kids need father too and i am very strong to face all these but right now our condition wrose because he not coming home for 2 or 3weeks. I am praying to GOD he will understand. He saying only enjoy your life .Don't think about me i am gonna enjoy my life.

Please advise me if any bani make me more strong so i will give good life to my kids.and my husband will come back in family. Kids really need him.

Have absolute faith in guru nanak dev ji, my mums friends husband ran away with a pakistani woman  and my mums friend started crying before guru nanak dev ji and she asked him to help her from the bottom of her heart.   She then had a vision of guru nanak dev ji in her dream and guru sahib told her that she is doing the right thing and is on the right path and that her husband will come back. Few days later her husband came back. This happened here in the UK. 

We often pray and do ardaas but have no faith.  We pray but in our minds we dont have faith and feel hopeless     we even try to convince ourselves that we have faith sometimes. Need to pray with full faith that waheguru will help us.  Praying with doubt in your heart doesnt work.   

When a child asks his parent for something he asks with full faith that hes gnna get what he wants. 

Waheguru is our father   

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Theres definitely a lot of problems In punjabi men and women   some deep rooted issues  and these filter down into the kids.   

Theres a lot of bad parenting as well, especially among our parents generation.   They torment the kids.   Iv seen a lot of messed up cousin because their parents had issues and were bad parents. 

I dnt know y they have these issues. 

Alot of older punjabis seem emotionally imbalanced.

My dad has some issues as well     hes really angry    he was horrible to us growing up. 

I dnt know y people from that generation are like that 

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29 minutes ago, puzzled said:

Theres definitely a lot of problems In punjabi men and women   some deep rooted issues  and these filter down into the kids.   

Theres a lot of bad parenting as well, especially among our parents generation.   They torment the kids.   Iv seen a lot of messed up cousin because their parents had issues and were bad parents. 

I dnt know y they have these issues. 

Alot of older punjabis seem emotionally imbalanced.

My dad has some issues as well     hes really angry    he was horrible to us growing up. 

I dnt know y people from that generation are like that 

I'm not trying to downplay the problems in our community, but there's so much of what you've described in other communities, too, and in some cases it's worse. 

I don't like the misplaced arrogance in our people. There's no conceivable justification for it, and it seems especially jarring when it comes from someone who doesn't realise how silly they are.

Not a fan of loud Punjabis who revel in trivialities and general noise. Exuberant and jovial behaviour is fine, but being rowdy, uncouth and coarse is horrible. The coconuts who exhibit this particular type of Punjabi boisterous behaviour and couple it with an extreme western secularism are just too much, lol. Canadian Sikhs are particularly symptomatic of this manner of being. 

Thankfully I wasn't exposed to a culture of drinking and partying, but I have observed it from a distance, and I'm left dismayed. It's little to do with being overtly religious or austere; it's simply a matter of propriety and decorum.

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11 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

I'm not trying to downplay the problems in our community, but there's so much of what you've described in other communities, too, and in some cases it's worse. 

I don't like the misplaced arrogance in our people. There's no conceivable justification for it, and it seems especially jarring when it comes from someone who doesn't realise how silly they are.

Not a fan of loud Punjabis who revel in trivialities and general noise. Exuberant and jovial behaviour is fine, but being rowdy, uncouth and coarse is horrible. The coconuts who exhibit this particular type of Punjabi boisterous behaviour and couple it with an extreme western secularism are just too much, lol. Canadian Sikhs are particularly symptomatic of this manner of being. 

Thankfully I wasn't exposed to a culture of drinking and partying, but I have observed it from a distance, and I'm left dismayed. It's little to do with being overtly religious or austere; it's simply a matter of propriety and decorum.

But why do parents behave like that? They have issues. Happy mum making rotis in kitchen and dad running around with kids on shoulders is just bs  iv never seen that in any punjabi family, atleast not the ones I know. Most punjabi men women seem disturbed and cant cope with relationships.

I really dnt like the loud  boisterous punjabis either     just really annoying 

I grew up with drinking and partying around me    back in the 90s there used to be punjabi families living around our house and every weekend the men used to get together and have drinking parties. They used to rotate whose house these parties were held in. Me and the other kids always used to be present that these parties. Just lots of alcohol and lots of meat  And old punjabi music!   The local divorced punjabi slappers used to come around as well sometimes for glassy. Then the alcohol used to run out so one of the men used go to the local off licence to buy another 2 or 3 bottles   I used to go to the off licence with them haha!  I even knew the names of the bottles as a kid!  Famous grouse whisky was quite a popular 1  lol    

I remember the man at the shop used to wrap the bottle in newspaper. 

Our neighbours bazurg used to get really drunk and then the men used to carry him to his house couple of houses down from ours    i remember he once was so drunk he fell into the Bush LMAO   we used call him papa 

Around 2003 everyone started moving areas and their kids grew up   so thats when these parties started disappearing.

Yh some  interesting childhood memories there lol 

 

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1 hour ago, puzzled said:

But why do parents behave like that? They have issues. Happy mum making rotis in kitchen and dad running around with kids on shoulders is just bs  iv never seen that in any punjabi family, atleast not the ones I know. Most punjabi men women seem disturbed and cant cope with relationships.

It's individual common sense. I don't even think it's entirely attributable to specific family habits although that does play a factor in these things. I really am coming to passionately believe that much of who we are and how we behave is dictated by our pichle incarnations and the personalities we've cultivated over those lifetimes. The massive difference in demeanour between siblings who've been raised under the same roof and have shared virtually identical experiences and social circles, isn't explainable when one sibling is scum and the other's an angel. Sure, there's definitely other non-spiritual factors at play, but personally I think there's much more going in other realms, that impact us, than people realise.

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43 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

It's individual common sense. I don't even think it's entirely attributable to specific family habits although that does play a factor in these things. I really am coming to passionately believe that much of who we are and how we behave is dictated by our pichle incarnations and the personalities we've cultivated over those lifetimes. The massive difference in demeanour between siblings who've been raised under the same roof and have shared virtually identical experiences and social circles, isn't explainable when one sibling is scum and the other's an angel. Sure, there's definitely other non-spiritual factors at play, but personally I think there's much more going in other realms, that impact us, than people realise.

I'm sure it is  because there's so many things about ourselves that even we cant figure out why it is      even our personalities      why are some people naturally more angry etc 

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15 hours ago, puzzled said:

Theres definitely a lot of problems In punjabi men and women   some deep rooted issues  and these filter down into the kids.   

Theres a lot of bad parenting as well, especially among our parents generation.   They torment the kids.   Iv seen a lot of messed up cousin because their parents had issues and were bad parents. 

I dnt know y they have these issues. 

Alot of older punjabis seem emotionally imbalanced.

My dad has some issues as well     hes really angry    he was horrible to us growing up. 

I dnt know y people from that generation are like that 

The older Punjabis pick up traits from their parents.

They were abused and they pass these down to their kids. 

They think this is the right way to be because they don't know any better. 

How many times in India do you hear a kid getting a slap or the cane when they are trying to learn at school or at home? You are taught to fear, scared to make mistakes. 

This will manifest itself in many ways.

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19 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

The older Punjabis pick up traits from their parents.

They were abused and they pass these down to their kids. 

They think this is the right way to be because they don't know any better. 

How many times in India do you hear a kid getting a slap or the cane when they are trying to learn at school or at home? You are taught to fear, scared to make mistakes. 

This will manifest itself in many ways.

Yh that makes sense    they beat fear into you in that country.     thats how they are raised   and they do the same with their kids here.

No wonder there are so many damaged people. 

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