Should i get married ?!

[Guest J.singh.w]

Everybody is either telling me to get married or are getting married. But i am not feeling that marriage vibes. Currently, i don't want to get married, ever ! It is not that, i am A saint or Udasi sant. I just can't. I'm a amritdhari sikh guy 24. When i think about marriage, all i can think about is negatives that it will bring. It will take away my freedom and God knows what else. 

But on  others hand there is my parents, telling me to get married. I love them and care for them. But this is way too much for me. And they are upset with my current decision.

So please advice me. 

[Lionesswoman]

Find a girl, get married, live a householders life. 

 

Part of this Blessing of the gift of life is to discover and enjoy Gods creation. Find a wife and enjoy your life with her. Stay true, stay good, stay free internally but love her unconditionally. Teach her and uplift her if she needs it. 

 

The Gurus led by example, a householders life can be grounding and enjoyable if you want it to be, and there are lessons to be learned in all aspects of life. 

 

 

[Cloud]

I will just reply the same answers that I got in a similar situation at your age:

 

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In regard to your parents having arranged a marriage....You must speak to them about this. Speak to your Giani, your Grandfather , your school counselor. You should not be trapped. You are not trapped. Stop worrying about this and just say NO way. Thank you very much but this is NOT for me. Rather than be emotional and reactive...be very calm and clear and discuss together. Tell then to be calm and practical and patient. The collective family is pressuring your parents and the parents are pressuring you.

You are wise to want a marriage that is a partnership based on devotion and service.

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I'm gonna give you some straight up advice - sort yourself out. Your job. Your education. Marriage isn't going to fix anything, you do not have to get married yet, or ever. Sort yourself out, then you can think about marriage and having a family. How to sort your job and education problems? : The only thing I can really say is to do Ardas. Why don't you have some time off and go to the gurdwara and do regular seva and simran. Hopefully you'll find some peace and inspiration. Figure yourself out.

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I would say just think about yourself for a second and take one step at a time. If you will think you can do everything to make your life easy and your parents this will not happen. Give yourself some time.  First, think about what you want to do study or job then do it as your 'majburi' doesn't matter you are happy or not. Try to stay there and don't think you can't do it because you learn slow. Then after 2 or 3 years, try to think about marriage with the age of yours or an year younger that way you guys will understand each other better. Now its your time, and you will tell them when you are ready to get married. And suicide is not the solution for everything. I was used to thing the same way to kill myself then i thought about my loved one, who cares about me like my shadow. So don't ever try to hurt yourself.

If you have any other questions please reply.

/WJKK WJKF

[Guest Jacfsing2]

On 10/5/2016 at 5:45 AM, Guest J.singh.w said:

Everybody is either telling me to get married or are getting married. But i am not feeling that marriage vibes. Currently, i don't want to get married, ever ! It is not that, i am A saint or Udasi sant. I just can't. I'm a amritdhari sikh guy 24. When i think about marriage, all i can think about is negatives that it will bring. It will take away my freedom and God knows what else. 

But on  others hand there is my parents, telling me to get married. I love them and care for them. But this is way too much for me. And they are upset with my current decision.

So please advice me. 

What are your other plans? If you don't have any huge plan like "Save the World",(Which no offense, you will probably never be able to do, since the only one who can save people is Guru Sahib), "Travel", "Make a Change", or maybe "Opening an Orphanage", you probably should get married. You could wait till your ready, but do not dismiss the idea of marriage. Do you have any plans that would require you not to be married?