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My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse .i still believed that my husband loved me I can't let go of the feeling of love towards him

My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse and making false criminal charges on me just after 6 months of our marriage.. I was married here and came from India and was confined at home for 6 months..there were many daily instances of differential treatment with me and of abuse with me daily..i still believed that my husband loved me but after he put me through the most horrible situation, i still can't let go fo the feeling fo love towards him..everyone is saying I am saved by Waheguru but why do i still want to be with..i still want to talk to him once..i was thrown out of their house in a demeaning way and still i have feelings for him..why? What should i do...he has applied for divorce too and i dont want to divorce him..i love him truly and i have no one to go back to..my parents are not alive..am homeless in a foreign country..why did he do this to me after all this sikhi talk at his home and i was to take Amrit with him on this Baisakhi..why is this happening?

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1 hour ago, HBSingh said:

 

My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse .i still believed that my husband loved me I can't let go of the feeling of love towards him

My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse and making false criminal charges on me just after 6 months of our marriage.. I was married here and came from India and was confined at home for 6 months..there were many daily instances of differential treatment with me and of abuse with me daily..i still believed that my husband loved me but after he put me through the most horrible situation, i still can't let go fo the feeling fo love towards him..everyone is saying I am saved by Waheguru but why do i still want to be with..i still want to talk to him once..i was thrown out of their house in a demeaning way and still i have feelings for him..why? What should i do...he has applied for divorce too and i dont want to divorce him..i love him truly and i have no one to go back to..my parents are not alive..am homeless in a foreign country..why did he do this to me after all this sikhi talk at his home and i was to take Amrit with him on this Baisakhi..why is this happening?

who arranged the rista ? can they be reached and help in this situation? 

Honestly if This someone has brought you here have you got your visa to stay or not ? 

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Too little is being told about this case to give any advice.  Mostly it is relatives who encourage divorce. However to me it looks like a case of what some people did in the past... marriage to girls from india for dowry. They then throw the poor helpless girl out to survive on her own.

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Guest Jacfsing2

There's no solution while you still have that Moh, so before anyone can give advice you've got to get counseling on that first and then move on.

2 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

who arranged the rista ?

Honestly if This someone has brought you here have you got your visa to stay or not ? 

What if it's one of those spouse visas? (Don't know if you guys have those in England). But we all know if we believe in Sikhi who made the Rishta in the first place and that's Vaheguru. If your Karma matches then you get Rishta with an equal. I don't want to say these types of things, but this was a question you can get random believer of Vaheguru, (even Non-Sikhs), can answer.

4 minutes ago, sikhni777 said:

Too little is being told about this case to give any advice.  Mostly it is relatives who encourage divorce. However to me it looks like a case of what some people did in the past... marriage to girls from india for dowry. They then throw the poor helpless girl out to survive on her own.

Isn't Dowry the parents selling the son?

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1 minute ago, Jacfsing2 said:

There's no solution while you still have that Moh, so before anyone can give advice you've got to get counseling on that first and then move on.

What if it's one of those spouse visas? (Don't know if you guys have those in England). But we all know if we believe in Sikhi who made the Rishta in the first place and that's Vaheguru. If your Karma matches then you get Rishta with an equal. I don't want to say these types of things, but this was a question you can get random believer of Vaheguru, (even Non-Sikhs), can answer.

Isn't Dowry the parents selling the son?

no , dowry is robbing the girl's family don't make the boy out to be the victim as there is not as much  stigma attached to divorced guys as there are girls . A guy can marry , rob, abuse and dump as many times as he likes without much comeback whereas a Girl is traumatised, belittled and dishonoured  in society . That's why Bhen ji is still clinging to this excuse of a man even though he has beaten and tried to get her arrested.

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18 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

no , dowry is robbing the girl's family don't make the boy out to be the victim as there is not as much  stigma attached to divorced guys as there are girls . A guy can marry , rob, abuse and dump as many times as he likes without much comeback whereas a Girl is traumatised, belittled and dishonoured  in society . That's why Bhen ji is still clinging to this excuse of a man even though he has beaten and tried to get her arrested.

So why do the groom's parents ask for X amount for their son? These situations and they'd marry their son to anyone in those scenarios. But what I think is Pakhand is when someone asks for a dowryless marriage, but then asks for a specific caste. If anyone is like such a snake they are a bigger problem than people who are asking for a dowry with a caste requirement, cause they just don't want to pay. When it comes to Rishtas sadly even hardcore Amritdharis would probably when asked who's Guru Sahib, they'd be all like who's that. 

People go to the point on being completely swapped in such scenarios, but hopefully it doesn't spread to other areas.

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28 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

So why do the groom's parents ask for X amount for their son? These situations and they'd marry their son to anyone in those scenarios. But what I think is Pakhand is when someone asks for a dowryless marriage, but then asks for a specific caste. If anyone is like such a snake they are a bigger problem than people who are asking for a dowry with a caste requirement, cause they just don't want to pay. When it comes to Rishtas sadly even hardcore Amritdharis would probably when asked who's Guru Sahib, they'd be all like who's that. 

People go to the point on being completely swapped in such scenarios, but hopefully it doesn't spread to other areas.

my philosophy is no asking, no giving , no taking  ...if you are really looking for the perfect mother/father for your grandchildren there are more important things to look out for like honesty, hardworking, caring nature etc.

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31 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

So why do the groom's parents ask for X amount for their son? These situations and they'd marry their son to anyone in those scenarios.

Unfortunately many of the parents of UK born youngsters and the youngsters themselves view marriage as an experiment to be undertaken. The risks involved with marrying someone from India are lesser as they can control them more easily. This applies to both males and females. UK residents feel like their needs are more superior to those of their Indian spouses. 

The weight a spouse would carry in the marriage is linked to their immediate nationality, the importance of their job and their current wealth. Personality has a part to play in this battle of the sexes too. One drives the marriage while the other follows. the short changed person feels cheated then and resorts to divorce - trying to shift the tables all over again. 

The result is suffering children, broke families, multiple spouses and a disintegrated society. Parents are sometimes consulted in this war and sometimes they just have to accept the tough situation that their children put them into. 

Some time ago there were stories of some people trying to use this get rich quick scheme of marrying an Indian girl and then just dumping her - keeping all the gold jewellery and since the girls parents paid for the wedding expenses, they don't have much to loose. A wedding for them costs only a plane ticket and girls parents will be gloating over them once they arrive back in India. They will give anything to such greedy people who are not slow to voice their demand either. Marriage after marriage - like an addiction. Who is to blame? Who can blame them when the girls here are helpless and poor families back in India cannot do much. Is there anyone powerful enough to stop this cycle?

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7 hours ago, HBSingh said:

 

My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse .i still believed that my husband loved me I can't let go of the feeling of love towards him

My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse and making false criminal charges on me just after 6 months of our marriage.. I was married here and came from India and was confined at home for 6 months..there were many daily instances of differential treatment with me and of abuse with me daily..i still believed that my husband loved me but after he put me through the most horrible situation, i still can't let go fo the feeling fo love towards him..everyone is saying I am saved by Waheguru but why do i still want to be with..i still want to talk to him once..i was thrown out of their house in a demeaning way and still i have feelings for him..why? What should i do...he has applied for divorce too and i dont want to divorce him..i love him truly and i have no one to go back to..my parents are not alive..am homeless in a foreign country..why did he do this to me after all this sikhi talk at his home and i was to take Amrit with him on this Baisakhi..why is this happening?

For a Kaur, you use Singh as your post name, why don't you use Kaur or something else or are you a male writing on behalf of someone else? 

Where are you living now? Can you approach the vachole, or whoever arranged the marriage? Was it arranged or love marriage ? 

What makes you love him when he's treated you like that? 

What do his parents say or are doing about this? Who is everyone that are saying you are saved by Waheguru ?  Do they know of his negative behaviour from before or any reason for them to say this? 

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