Not Sardar Jokes : Stand-Up Comedy by Vikramjit Singh

[harsharan000]

 

IT'S HARD TO BE A TEACHER AT TIMES...

 

Teacher: ''Construct a sentence using the word "sugar''
Pupil: ''I drank tea this morning.''
Teacher: ''Where is the word sugar.''
Pupil: ''It is already in the tea..!!''

TEACHER: Our topic for today is  Photosynthesis. 

TEACHER : What is photosynthesis class?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.

 

Not Easy to be a Teacher  !!!!!

TEACHER : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you...

 

TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don't call them, they come on their own...

 

TEACHER : Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation...

 

TEACHER : How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home...

 

TEACHER : One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense...

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Husband wife issues

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About married couples

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Hum 2  hamare 2

 

 

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                 Murdering English
               

From  Administrative  Deptt.    
Bengaluru in 1996 :  As my mother-in-law has expired and I m the only one responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.

Maharashtra in 2005:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife,
please sanction me one-week leave."
_________
Jharkhand in 2000 
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
As I want to cut my son's head  in Gaya, please leave me for two days..
_________
Leave Application from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding in Hyderabad in 1996 :
As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave..
_________
From another Administration Dept,Gujarat in 2007:
An employee applied for half-day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o'clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
_________
Another leave application found in Bihar in the year 2005
I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday for me.
_________
A leave application to a Principal in Jamshedpur in 2006:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache and the headache is paining, Please grant me one day leave
____________
Leave application found in Kolkata in 2014:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
____________
Another seen on the cover note while applying for a job in 1999:
"Dear Sir, with reference to the above employment circular number, Please refer to my bottom.
___________
Another funny Letter found in Bhubaneswar in 2016:
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.
 

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A student attended Bio Practical exam

examiner : birds ki tangein dekh k iska naam bataao

student : I do not know

examiner : u r failed... what´s ur name?

student : see my legs and tell me my name 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[puzzled]

Not a joke but it's a interview with ma anand sheela, who was the rajneesh oshos secretary, a hindu s3x cult in America. She was like a spokesperson for them. They were very controversial and constantly under question