In your opinion , is homosexuality a result of sexual misconduct in previous lives ?

[Guest]

I have often at times wondered why I am the way I am , but I also remember 101% that I didn't have a choice in it. 

If something makes me happy and I do have many such things in life thanks to god, then I often think its not just gurprasad but I earned it by some noble deeds in past lives.

As Guru Nanak dev ji says in Japji sahib "Jeti sirath upaai vekha, vin karma ke miley layi" (As vast the world I see with all things in it, without good karma what can I receive and get ). 

The world is full of food, yet millions go hungry, world is full of clothes , yet millions go naked, so much of land is there on earth and yet homelessness . Because without karmas, we can't get even though world is full , as Japji sahib indicates. 

So , if homosexuality is a handicap (as it is usually due to social unacceptance) , did I do something horrible in my past life to deserve it ?

Since sikhi has nothing to say on this topic, I read on other eastern religions. Buddhism for instance says homosexuality is a predicament due to previous life (joon) misconduct and that homosexuals should follow the dharmic way to attain salvation, because in the end "this too shall pass". 

[harsharan000]

Brother,

the law of  karmas is very complex for us humans, even gods, are under it. You may search for answers, but we must keep in mind, our life span is uncertain and short, so why not use it for achieving the objective of our lives, which is to become one with Him through His bhakti.

If we hold on to Him, He shall arrange evrythig for us. He is only important, and permanent truth, the world and its opinions are braham, which change according to each person´s mental frame.

Nothing happens without a reason, without past karam, but then, past is past, let us look forward, He, Wahiguru Akal Purukh.

 

Sat Sree Akal.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Homosexuality is based on Karma, but each and every single thing that has ever happened in the past is happening, or will happen in the future is based on Karma, (except the blessing of the coming of Vaheguru and his light which is Guru Sahib, which even all the great Karma we can ever do can never amount to even be blessed enough to even hear this name once).

Karma is a thing that will be the stamp of everything you do, since when your soul left Vaheguru many many years ago. (This is so forgotten by us, that we don't even know this happened, and most people wouldn't even know that.) 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

5 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Homosexuality is based on Karma, but each and every single thing that has ever happened in the past is happening, or will happen in the future is based on Karma, (except the blessing of the coming of Vaheguru and his light which is Guru Sahib, which even all the great Karma we can ever do can never amount to even be blessed enough to even hear this name once).

Karma is a thing that will be the stamp of everything you do, since when your soul left Vaheguru many many years ago. (This is so forgotten by us, that we don't even know this happened, and most people wouldn't even know that.) 

I feel scared to lose my mom. Right now I am fortunate enough to have parents, a roof on top of my head and food on table . However , my parents won't be with me all of my life. I don't have any siblings either. When they're gone, I can't imagine living , esp my mother who I am strongly attached to. When she died , maybe I too should die with her. otherwise who is with me ? :'( 

Just thinking about her passing one day in future makes me shiver , but its inevitable. How will waheguru help me I wonder  

[MisterrSingh]

1 hour ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

I feel scared to lose my mom. Right now I am fortunate enough to have parents, a roof on top of my head and food on table . However , my parents won't be with me all of my life. I don't have any siblings either. When they're gone, I can't imagine living , esp my mother who I am strongly attached to. When she died , maybe I too should die with her. otherwise who is with me ? :'( 

Just thinking about her passing one day in future makes me shiver , but its inevitable. How will waheguru help me I wonder  

I feel your homosexuality is somehow related to the excessively close relationship with your mother. I'm assuming you find your father to be unfeeling, distant, and unnecessarily strict?

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

48 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I feel your homosexuality is somehow related to the excessively close relationship with your mother. I'm assuming you find your father to be unfeeling, distant, and unnecessarily strict?

I am close with my mother, I am not sure if I am excessively close though, although I find her possessive and loud sometimes . I feel she has OCD. She's already on meds for mitral valve prolapse (harmless heart condition) , vertigo and anxiety . 

I have never felt close to my father . Never an emotional connection. When I was a kid, I would wonder when he would go on his next transportation task . Didn't like him at home for some reason. Felt so better when me and mom were alone . But maybe it was because of fight over tv . I wanted to see cartoons and he news channels, but even other than that, we barely felt connected. I feel my dad wanted a daughter , as I had an elder sister who was stillborn . Few years back mom told me when I was born, my father got drunk and said a few other people "it was a son but he died".

It came as a shock to me. But my father is just another silly punjabi dad , and always had a very chronic drinking condition that almost tore apart our family a couple of times and drove my mom to suicide a few times. I still remember those days vividly although he hasn't drunk since a few years now . 

I understand the old freudian theory you seem to be believing in of gay sons being a result of close moms and distant fathers. Even my childhood was not normal . Preferred girls toys over sports and I barely know a thing about sport.

 

Till a few years back , my life had come in so much shackles that I lost my faith . If it weren't for miraculous intervention of waheguru and me talking to SGGS and SGGS talking back to me, I wouldn't today be on this forum either .

Finding a job now seems like it was like crossing  a gap in bridge over a cliff . The situation that stares me in the eye now however seems like an abyss in itself to which I see no end.

As I type this with tears rolling down my cheek , I can feel my utter helplessness and hopelessness in the current life and I see no out of it . Sometimes I wonder when my mom leaves me, isn't it better for me just to sit with her on the funeral pyre . My only reason for existence , without any siblings or friends I can rely on, what is there ? I see utter darkness 

[MisterrSingh]

It's a tough situation. I suppose you resent, on some level, the sole responsibility of ushering your parents towards old age, in terms of cultural expectations, etc. Things might have been easier for you to pursue your wishes and desires had there been less focus on you being the only child. I think you are crippled by doubt and fear. You're torn between the idea of being "happy" and being you, and the thought of religious or spiritual consequences of indulging your natural inclinations. Guilt. Your faith and your integrity seems to be the one thing that you feel is an albatross around your neck in terms of your sexuality, even though there is a genuinely strong sense of spirituality on your part, and these conflicting ideologies are sending you into a head-spin. If you were less of a believer and more individualistic, you'd probably be in better shape, but at the expense of the things you believe. Something must give.

 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

9 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

It's a tough situation. I suppose you resent, on some level, the sole responsibility of ushering your parents towards old age, in terms of cultural expectations, etc. Things might have been easier for you to pursue your wishes and desires had there been less focus on you being the only child. I think you are crippled by doubt and fear. You're torn between the idea of being "happy" and being you, and the thought of religious or spiritual consequences of indulging your natural inclinations. Guilt. Your faith and your integrity seems to be the one thing that you feel is an albatross around your neck in terms of your sexuality, even though there is a genuinely strong sense of spirituality on your part, and these conflicting ideologies are sending you into a head-spin. If you were less of a believer and more individualistic, you'd probably be in better shape, but at the expense of the things you believe. Something must give.

 

I am not shy of doing sewa of my parents. I am having severe anxiety over what after them ?  The only relationship I loved and lived of love was my mother . She stood by me as an image of god in every aspect of my life. Seeing her pass will break me from inside. Just thinking about it makes my eyes wet. But its inevitable as well .

At times like these, one begins to wonder what reality is and how we should have lived our life . If I am reaping of what I have sown in my past life, and if the results can be so painful , what could I be sowing similar in this life ? it makes for a scary introspection. For the first time in my life I fear god and his karmic system so much. 

Also I find it hard now to believe that god simply forgives people for their karams , unless in exceptional cases by grace maybe. What is sown has to be reaped. But I am also aware that karams are expendable. When I am done doing my sentence (maybe when I die) , I will no longer be a homosexual , maybe not in next birth. This understanding alone should make me realize the constantly fleeting nature of life, but here I am still crying and totally absorbed in the current scenario . Despite "knowing" the ephemeral reality of things, I still don't know it because my attitude betrays I don't believe it, as if everything is permanent.

It is true that my recent belief in faith has forced me to rethink over acting out my sexuality. But at the same time, I find it hard to believe god would punish me for something he made me as . But you never know , if for instance, this life I got for penance and connecting with him , and I am wasting it .

 

If I start naam simran daily at amritvela , will it help me ? will all my dukh vanish slowly 

[Guest be strong bro Ajeet]

Brother Ajeet - being gay is not a sin period (let alone a sin from a past life).

You have two arms, two legs, two eyes, an intelligent brain, 2 parents and you are Sikh. Use the blessings you have to help others and do sewa for Sarbat da Bhala.

But you have to let go of this self-hate. You are what you are naturally.

Nobody hates you. There is even theoretically no reason why you and a lesbian wife could not adopt innocent orphaned children to allow you to be a good parent to innocent children.

Put your energy into helping the Qaum and others less fortunate. You care for the Panth. Try to give that a practical manifestation. Earn money and recycle it into investments which can sustainably assist ending the problems that afflict the Sikh Panth (and others who are suffering) as well as obvious daswand.

All parents go at one point or another (I often feel I will be crushed too when I lose mine) but the only way to get out of that abyss will be to fight to use your Mother's memory as an inspirational tool with which to help others via Sarbat da Bhala.

Last but not least there are one billion Hindu's out there - the majority of whom could make good sehajdhari Sikhs if only we reach out to them. Instead of posting about how horrible some of them are if someone bullies you use it as personal motivation to bring new Sikhs into the Panth. If you can't tell south Indians that one of our Bhai Sahib Singh was from Karnataka, or Brahmins about Bhai Mati Das or Gujarati's about Bhai Mokham Singh from Dwarka Nagar then your RSS opponents will win by stifling your attempts to bring new people into the Panth for Sarbat da Bhala. When we use the actions of a minority of Hindu's to alienate us from over a billion Hindu's then we as Sikhs are the losers and the RSS rejoice.

Wish you all the best! Stay strong! All the Sangat support your wellbeing 

[MisterrSingh]

My armchair psychoanalysis isn't going to be of much help. This is genuinely something only you can think over and take action. I've told you previously about Naam Simran but you struggle to adhere to a routine, or you expect results after days or weeks. Plus, what are you expecting from Naam Simran? A cure for homosexuality? A greenlight to indulge your desires? It just won't work the way your mind is wired at the moment.  

It is possible to be a loyal and dutiful son without being so hopelessly emotionally dependent on your mother. Does your relationship with your mother really have any depth and honesty when you can't even share with her that you're gay? It seems quite a one-sided affair to me, with all the effort on your part. I'd tell you to be a man and pull yourself together; that most people love their mothers, and the thought of the death of the person that gives birth to us is a terribly painful feeling, but I think you're beyond that. 

Getting metaphysical and esoteric about the reasons for your homosexuality is a waste of time. You need to act upon the things you have power over. Why you're gay from a spiritual perspective is interesting, but ultimately a fruitless expenditure of mental energy.