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Depression and sadness after marriage

Guest Pappi

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Okay brother. Man the hell up! Don't be a cry-baby man. There is nothing more unappealing.  It sounds like you haven't had kids with this women yet. If so, thank Waheguru from the deepest depths

Seeing lots of stories like this popping up. Western boys going to India for a girl and the girl being a <banned word filter activated> human being. Fact is, about 60% of Punjabi gi

Now I understand why you used to get so angry and jealous when you used to see the 'hot' wives of Afghan Sikhs. lol

Just now, Ranjeet01 said:

I personally think that most men should not consider getting married before 30.

True for working middle class not low & high.

I would love to see a comparative table of when which Mahapurakh got married.

By Mahapurakh I mean those who wrote Gurbani.

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38 minutes ago, singhbj singh said:

True for working middle class not low & high.

I would love to see a comparative table of when which Mahapurakh got married.

By Mahapurakh I mean those who wrote Gurbani.

Well they do say that the low and high have more in common with each other than the middle.


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48 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Well they do say that the low and high have more in common with each other than the middle.


ਜਿਸੁ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਿ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਤਿਸੈ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਿ ਚਿੰਤਾ ॥

The household which is filled with abundance - that household suffers anxiety.

ਜਿਸੁ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਿ ਥੋਰੀ ਸੁ ਫਿਰੈ ਭ੍ਰਮੰਤਾ ॥

One whose household has little, wanders around searching for more.

ਦੁਹੂ ਬਿਵਸਥਾ ਤੇ ਜੋ ਮੁਕਤਾ ਸੋਈ ਸੁਹੇਲਾ ਭਾਲੀਐ ॥੧॥

He alone is happy and at peace, who is liberated from both conditions. ||1||


That's why middle class lifestyle is best


ਛੋਡਿ ਬਹੈ ਤਉ ਛੂਟੈ ਨਾਹੀ ॥

He may try to abandon Maya, but he is not released.

ਜਉ ਸੰਚੈ ਤਉ ਭਉ ਮਨ ਮਾਹੀ ॥

If he collects things, then his mind is afraid of losing them.

ਇਸ ਹੀ ਮਹਿ ਜਿਸ ਕੀ ਪਤਿ ਰਾਖੈ ਤਿਸੁ ਸਾਧੂ ਚਉਰੁ ਢਾਲੀਐ ॥੬॥

I wave the fly-brush over that holy person, whose honor is protected in the midst of Maya. ||6||


Carefree stage is achieved by Waheguru ji's Kirpa 



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1 hour ago, silverSingh said:

'He alone is happy and at peace, who is liberated fform both conditions' can only be achieved by doing naam simran and not by having just enough matierial goods so you don't have to look for them anymore.  This liberation can be achieved by doing naam simran even if you have more than you can handle or less than you desire.

And 'I wave the fly-brush over that holy person, whose honor is protected in the midst of Maya' means that since it is only possible to achieve liberation by doing naam simran, it does not matter whether one is a middle class or a low class, or whether one is rich or poor. Liberation has to be worked on regardless of one's class, and once one is liberated oneself in this way the Guru Sahib says that he would 'wave the fly-brush over that holy person' because only through naam simran and liberation this person's honor has been saved.

You are misintepreting the Bani to suit your class theory,  is very strange.

There is no misinterpretation, as per the verse midway is most favourable.

However negative consequence of being high & low are mentioned in the Shabad.

In this age talks have little effect, people are inspired by real living example not dead men.

Now who according to you qualifies to be called a Sadhu or holy man according to this Shabad.

Name & then prove !

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4 minutes ago, Wingz23 said:

Its interesting to see the start of this post and where it has actually ended up going:rofl

I think OP is a fake.

He was just trying to spread false propaganda that all Indian brides are trouble makers & punju kids born overseas should not marry them.

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40 minutes ago, silverSingh said:

i thought you were using these verses to support your class theory, high and low class, and not state of mind.  You can be pretty ambiguous at times, honestly. There are no dead men or women as far as I am concerned, they might not be here with us in their physical forms but their words are immortal and will live forever.

Sadhu or a holy man, is a soul that is detached from maya, in constant touch with the naam and operates only as a witness. It witnesses everything that constitutes maya without becoming attached to it and remains forever immersed in Vaheguru's rememberance. Well, i can't name anyone at the moment because the Shabad does not mention it. If it is mentioned in the verses above please do tell me,because I can't find it.

Not my theory, it's "Dhur Ki Bani"

One can be liberated by following middle path or middle class lifestyle.

Concept of Sadhu being a soul & not body doesn't go with many verses in Gurbani 

For example 

ਚਾਰਿ ਪਦਾਰਥ ਜੇ ਕੋ ਮਾਗੈ ॥

One who prays for the four cardinal blessings

ਸਾਧ ਜਨਾ ਕੀ ਸੇਵਾ ਲਾਗੈ ॥

should commit himself to the service of the Saints


ਜਬ ਤੇ ਦਰਸਨ ਭੇਟੇ ਸਾਧੂ ਭਲੇ ਦਿਨਸ ਓਇ ਆਏ ॥

Ever since I obtained the Blessed Vision of the Darshan of the Holy, my days have been blessed and prosperous.


ਜਿਉ ਧਰਤੀ ਚਰਣ ਤਲੇ ਤੇ ਊਪਰਿ ਆਵੈ ਤਿਉ ਨਾਨਕ ਸਾਧ ਜਨਾ ਜਗਤੁ ਆਣਿ ਸਭੁ ਪੈਰੀ ਪਾਏ ॥੪॥੧॥੧੨॥

As dust rises from underfoot, O Nanak, so does the Lord make all people fall at the feet of the Holy. ||4||1||12||

So how is Sangat going to follow & benefit from these teachings ?

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30 minutes ago, silverSingh said:

I can understand that one can be liberated by following the middle path of remaining detached and immersed in naam simran, but how is it possible to gain liberation if one belongs to a middle class?  Middle class is full of  evil selfish attitudes, materialism, attachement and greed.

Sangat will have to renounce their middle class thinking and attitudes and become completely detached by following Gubani. They will have to start leading simple lives and not be too greedy to possess or hanker after worldly goods, tastes and feelings, I suppose.  This will only be possible if they will do naam simran and sangat of the Saints and Mahapurshs, I think. Simplicity will finally lead to liberation through naam jap.


Baba Iqbal Singh ji is most prominent Mahapurakh in present times.

Baru Sahib is propagating middle class lifestyle.

Their success is spreading across borders n overseas.

What makes them click is shunning low & high class lifestyle.


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12 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

I think that this thread has been seriously derailed.

I think the class issue deserves it's own thread.

Some scholar should research & write a paper on 

"Transition from low class Punjabis to middle class Britishers"

True story of an immigrant family !

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3 minutes ago, silverSingh said:

But they are not teaching them to become attached to middle class lifestyle at all.  They are also teaching them sikhi and Gurbani.

Bhai ji,

Students Ki Kheti Ja Tarkhani Sikhede ne ?

Or are they being groomed to be corrupt politicians?

None of the above they are being groomed as working middle class citizens.

Over n out !

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On 2017-06-25 at 7:37 AM, Guest Pappi said:

Dear Sangat Ji,


I am going through much sadness in my life. I really wanted to get married when I was younger and wanted to have a happy married life.


Unfortunately the girl I was dating didn't want to be with my parents after marriage so I decided not to continue the relationship.


I ended up marrying someone from India and Sangat Ji , I was somewhat forced by all of my elders, parents, sister to marry this one girl.


I sponsored this girl and honestly regret it everyday, she has wanted to move out, won't help around the house. I feel somewhat depressed that I had such good intentions about marriage and didn't sleep around before marriage and now regret why I was so good. I keep praying to God for help and so far nothing has worked in my situation, but I have faith it will.

My lesson to all, is please don't force your children. I cry everyday before going to bed, I keep thinking all of this is because of my bad karma. I have had suicidal thoughts, and have trouble concentrating at woek.

I sometimes wish god takes my life early as my life is meaningless.


Instead of debating if punjabi girls are better then western girl can we not help our brother in need when he is pleading the with sadh sangat?

As someone who have had a similair experiance. 

Even contemplating suicide at that time. 

My question to you Pappi is are you divorced with this woman?


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