‘In one house, seven girls. We thought god would balance with a son’

[BhForce]

12 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

How many 'Shots' are Sikhs allowed to get a baby boy ?

http://indianexpress.com/article/india/in-one-house-seven-girls-we-thought-god-would-balance-with-a-son-4869038/

Have seen lot many educated Sikhs having 2,3,4 daughters & still craving for a son.

Is this Gurmat or Manmat ?

By "this" do you mean destroying a gutka after yet another girl was born? Yeah, that's manmat, but not just manmat, it's a vicious attack on the body of Satguru. This fool is bound for hell.

On the other hand if you're asking whether a Sikh wanting a son is manmat, no, it's not. 

Was Guru Hargobind ji a manmukh for saying that "puttar" is "nishan" to the wandering sadhu?

Of course, if it is not written in God's will for you to have a son, you should not pout or be angry with God. You should accept God's will as sweet.

[Ranjeet01]

4 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

err don't know where you get that idea , most women are the first to be anti-women and give a girl a hard time ...

gursikhs don't give or ask for dowries, don't shell out for party sharty with dancers and sharab, and accept bhana

honestly if a singh is strong in his rehit  and bani , he will empower the daughters immensely as he will recognise her value

Most women in this case will get the hard time in this instance from specific women such as their mother-in-laws or husband's sisters.

However,  they will still go back to their pekheh and talk to their mothers.  They even get a sympathetic ear from certain quarters of their husband's family or even talk to their friends.

Women in the end of the day will talk about their problems, men will not.

I was talking from the man's point of view but of course it is frowned upon because it is not from a feminine-correct  (but it depends what side of the marriage line one belongs on) point of view which is the only point of view that is allowed.

To think that somehow Gursikh families don't ask for many things is a load of baloney. In theory they shouldn't but many do.

Many Singh's like most men do value their daughters. 

Funny how most women think fathers don't value their daughters but think their own fathers are the best things since sliced bread.

 

[simran345]

7 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Women in the end of the day will talk about their problems, men will not.

This is what men need to do also. There needs to be parchar at the Gurdwara on how to deal with these things. And when the men get together, rather than talking about what is expected as norm in society, change it to what to do if so and so happens. There should be a counsellor type man and woman in each pind. The panchayat don’t really do much. 

[jkvlondon]

7 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Most women in this case will get the hard time in this instance from specific women such as their mother-in-laws or husband's sisters.

However,  they will still go back to their pekheh and talk to their mothers.  They even get a sympathetic ear from certain quarters of their husband's family or even talk to their friends.

Women in the end of the day will talk about their problems, men will not.

I was talking from the man's point of view but of course it is frowned upon because it is not from a feminine-correct  (but it depends what side of the marriage line one belongs on) point of view which is the only point of view that is allowed.

To think that somehow Gursikh families don't ask for many things is a load of baloney. In theory they shouldn't but many do.

Many Singh's like most men do value their daughters. 

Funny how most women think fathers don't value their daughters but think their own fathers are the best things since sliced bread.

 

honestly there are many things girls are expected to do - shoulder such hardships and protect their parents from the gory details to avoid making them suffer - very common in domestic abuse cases parents are unaware of how bad it is until the girl is hospitalised or dead. I personally saw a MIL dropping her DIL in the maternity ward when I was having the twins  with the following words 'jeh kudi hoee sanu phone nah karree' 

My Dad used to give me massively hard time and be harsh ... my Mum confronted him as to why ..his logic 'pata nahin kehije family naal viah karoge , main ehnu toughen up kar reha hu taanke eh cope kar sakke ' 

Mum explained that it is important to give me good memories and self-confidence as it goes a long way to  balance out . I knew my Dad loved me beyond ...but he was never given a method to show his softer side . The younger gen are a bit better in doing this and I've seen a lot of superproud Dads with their daughters but I get the feeling that if that girl fails in some way the father's ego will get a direct blow. My folks were unusual as they wanted me to be a girl (firstborn) and my mum was cussed out by the punjaban they were renting a room from because of it. 

 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Without reading much into it, a rational person should reach a conclusion with this line alone:

"an angry Charanjeet rushed into a room and burnt the two religious books his wife used to pray to for a son throughout her pregnancy."

Gurbani is no different whether in a gutka or Guru Sahib himself, on whether it's manmat or not to damage it.

[Ranjeet01]

2 hours ago, simran345 said:

This is what men need to do also. There needs to be parchar at the Gurdwara on how to deal with these things. And when the men get together, rather than talking about what is expected as norm in society, change it to what to do if so and so happens. There should be a counsellor type man and woman in each pind. The panchayat don’t really do much. 

Easier said than done, particularly in the pind.

Men are quite practical in that they require a practical solution to the problem. 

It needs to be a problem solving excercise.

[jkvlondon]

19 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Easier said than done, particularly in the pind.

Men are quite practical in that they require a practical solution to the problem. 

It needs to be a problem solving excercise.

maybe if the stupid s)d stop drinking he would have more fragile Y sperm living to generate a possible male , it's not her fault he's the one determining the sex of the child , I reckon this one scientific fact should be drummed into punjabis' heads it would go a long way to redress the blame game and get the men to look after their health better. vasey what the hell is she agreeing to generate more kids when he won't look after the ones he's already got ? 

[LifeIsBeautiful]

No way am I condoning this man's behaviour, I think people are very irrational in general. 

 

God give akaal to his Jeevan,and may he come back the right path. 

[simran345]

1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

vasey what the hell is she agreeing to generate more kids when he won't look after the ones he's already got ? 

She’s probably made to feel she needs to give birth to a son also. The people of that pind and every other like minded ones, need to mind their own frigging business and get on with their lives. 

There’s too much pressure on having a son, to take care of them when they’re older. In India, it’s not easy, but there are ways round it and daughters nowadays are always off to their pekeh, like every other week. Not like before or here that women go to their pekeh once in a while, probably on birthdays or Christmas holidays only. 

One side, India’s become more advanced than us, and on the other side they don’t use common sense. 

[simran345]

People can’t play with nature. You can’t change the gender of a baby to suit your own needs. God gave them what they were meant to receive, nothing more, nothing less, but what was suppose to be.