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Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.

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Guest Singh

Hi,

This has probably been discussed before but it's something I can't really wrap my head around. I'm a singh with full beard and have cousins who are the same, we are finding it difficult to find Sikh girls as life partners. The ones I've been introduced to have a problem with me not cutting my beard and being vegetarian etc... few have asked me if I would cut my beard etc... this coming from supposedly Sikh girls and it's quite disgraceful. 

I've had more interest from girls who are not Sikh...i.e Gujarati, English girls etc.. who don't seem to care about me being a full singh, it's raising questions in my head about the future of Sikhi as a whole, our Sikh girls are moving away from our faith/traditions and adopting western values and ways above all. One of my cousins got fed up and cut his beard in the hopes to be more 'accepted', but I feel this is the wrong choice to make. I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind but I don't want to move away from Sikhi just to find a wife, but it seems like our Sikh girls are. 

 

Suppose this is more of a rant than a question as such. 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

If you have taken amrit then I would definitely recommend getting married to a amritdhari Sikh girl too. I do agree though most girls do follow western traditions than Sikhi and it really does make it seem like Kaljug! Find any amritdhari girls your age and get your parents to approach her parents and they can talk to each other/bond or whatever and as long as the 2 families gel its all good and then you can talk to her and ask her questions etc. I do understand it isn't easy but just keep trying, you'll get there one day.  ^_^ 

VJKK VJKF

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On 11/20/2017 at 10:19 PM, Guest Singh said:

Hi,

This has probably been discussed before but it's something I can't really wrap my head around. I'm a singh with full beard and have cousins who are the same, we are finding it difficult to find Sikh girls as life partners. The ones I've been introduced to have a problem with me not cutting my beard and being vegetarian etc... few have asked me if I would cut my beard etc... this coming from supposedly Sikh girls and it's quite disgraceful. 

I've had more interest from girls who are not Sikh...i.e Gujarati, English girls etc.. who don't seem to care about me being a full singh, it's raising questions in my head about the future of Sikhi as a whole, our Sikh girls are moving away from our faith/traditions and adopting western values and ways above all. One of my cousins got fed up and cut his beard in the hopes to be more 'accepted', but I feel this is the wrong choice to make. I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind but I don't want to move away from Sikhi just to find a wife, but it seems like our Sikh girls are. 

 

Suppose this is more of a rant than a question as such. 

 I used to believe this until I started managing my brother's matrimony profile  a year ago who received lots of interest from girls  who are looking for non trimmer , vegetarian and religious. My brother being less religious created more problem for him in finding life partner.

The main factors that people see in India for marriage is how much a guy earn , how much property his family own and what the status of his family.If by any chance .If by any chance your these factors are on weak side then even super gursikh families won't consider you as rishta

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Brother Guest Singh Jee,

as I usually say, stick faithfully strong to sikhee. wahiguru is much much more important than anything anywhere.

Just keep in mind, before one is born, destiny is already tailored  to the milimetere.

And if it is written in one´s destiny to meet someone or have a spouse, believe it, it will sure happen, though that person maybe 7 seas far away, because one has karmic accoount to settle with that person, so is the same, which applies to any of our other relations.

So, relax and cool down, do not get perturbered by these thoughts.

If you eever have to worry for anything at all, just keep a check on yourself, of how much do you engage in His bhakti at His Lotus Feet.

Give yourself up wholeheartedly to Him, and He will look out for your needs as a true Mata/Pita.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

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Guest Singh
5 hours ago, kds1980 said:

 I used to believe this until I started managing my brother's matrimony profile  a year ago who received lots of interest from girls  who are looking for non trimmer , vegetarian and religious. My brother being less religious created more problem for him in finding life partner.

The main factors that people see in India for marriage is how much a guy earn , how much property his family own and what the status of his family.If by any chance .If by any chance your these factors are on weak side then even super gursikh families won't consider you as rishta

This is such a sad turn for Sikhi for us as sikhs being so materialistic when our gurus taught us not to and everything about Sikhi is about letting that go. This is what I don't like about so called gursikhs when they can't grasp fundamentals of Sikhi....even more so the ones that totally disregard Sikhi and it's teachings. 

But whatever happens, happens for a reason I suppose, understanding that is the difficult part, just wished there were more understanding people out there....I fear for when our kids when they will have to look for a partner considering what it's like now....though no one knows what the future may hold. 

Just got to keep head up and continue forward then. 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

8 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

This is such a sad turn for Sikhi for us as sikhs being so materialistic when our gurus taught us not to and everything about Sikhi is about letting that go. This is what I don't like about so called gursikhs when they can't grasp fundamentals of Sikhi....even more so the ones that totally disregard Sikhi and it's teachings. 

But whatever happens, happens for a reason I suppose, understanding that is the difficult part, just wished there were more understanding people out there....I fear for when our kids when they will have to look for a partner considering what it's like now....though no one knows what the future may hold. 

Just got to keep head up and continue forward then. 

Nowadays most Sikhs are ashamed of staying nirala (unique) when this is what Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj wanted us to do. We can really tell its Kaljug.

VJKK VJKF

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Guest Singh
On 23/11/2017 at 8:39 AM, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

Nowadays most Sikhs are ashamed of staying nirala (unique) when this is what Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj wanted us to do. We can really tell its Kaljug.

VJKK VJKF

This is so true, I just see generic people living generic lives. 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

2 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

This is so true, I just see generic people living generic lives. 

Western traditions are getting in the way of potentially amritdhari Sikhs, the way media and bad Sangat brainwashes us into thinking about what really matters in life is working. People nowadays care more about what others think of them and to them as far as religion is concerned, as long as they go to the gurdwara once a month they think that they are a Sikh. We should be able to recognise a Sikh not only by appearance but by actions too. We should try our level-best to educate kids nowadays in order to help them in future. At least if ur parents didn't particularly help us we should help kids nowadays.

VJKK VJKF 

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Guest singh

You know you don't have to marry a Sikh. Marry a Gujju or White girl then, it really doesn't matter but obviously bring your children up as Sikhs. I really don't understand why Sikh guys limit themselves to Punjabi women! 

Its not just Singhs who are having trouble finding partners, many moneh are too! Many punjabi ladies who work with my mother are always complaining how their sons (moneh) are having problems finding decent punjabi females. These days many of them drink, club and walk around wearing nothing but a table cloth. I know a few apneh who are happily married to classy, cultured Gujarati women.

Do not limit yourself and NEVER get rid of your sikhi to please a woman! 

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Guest Kaur 2
14 hours ago, Guest singh said:

Do not limit yourself and NEVER get rid of your sikhi to please a woman! 

:clap:        The best message ever. These are the values that we should pass down to kids!          :clap: 

VJKK VJKF

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With a lot of Punjabi women being fickle with the latest trends and fashions, I thought that with the uptake of hipster beards and man buns that they would be fickle enough to be attracted to the kesh. 

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Guest London jwaan
On 22/11/2017 at 6:02 PM, kds1980 said:

 I used to believe this until I started managing my brother's matrimony profile  a year ago who received lots of interest from girls  who are looking for non trimmer , vegetarian and religious. My brother being less religious created more problem for him in finding life partner.

The main factors that people see in India for marriage is how much a guy earn , how much property his family own and what the status of his family.If by any chance .If by any chance your these factors are on weak side then even super gursikh families won't consider you as rishta

Agreed. Go to any gurdwara and have a look at the matrimonial list.

Firstly, people are categorised according to caste. Totally anti sikh practice in the first place. It appears that the most important criteria is in this order :

1) caste

2) height 

3) age

4) job/earnings

5) education 

Etc

And if you speak to girl's families you will no doubt have shocking conversions. Fat girls looking for lean body builders, a girl with no or minimal education looking for a doctor, lawyer or investment banker. Parents of a 5 feet tall girl looking for a guy over 6 feet......

I myself have had ridiculous conversations, with one girls dad asking my salary, another asking how much my flat was worth, one asked what car I have another querying my degrees when his daughter didn't even go to university. One even called my place of work to check I work there as he clearly thought I was lying - and then told me. Another asked where our house was in India. One asked for proof I was jatt. Proof?!?! I told him I was sikh. He said the days anyone is sikh and first and foremost he would only talk to jatts.

I don't really care about any of these things but it shows you what drives a family. And I have said it before, the single most destructive thing in our kaum, is the hijacking of sikh ethos and distortion by jattism behvkoofi

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5 hours ago, Guest London jwaan said:

Agreed. Go to any gurdwara and have a look at the matrimonial list.

Firstly, people are categorised according to caste. Totally anti sikh practice in the first place. It appears that the most important criteria is in this order :

1) caste

2) height 

3) age

4) job/earnings

5) education 

Etc

And if you speak to girl's families you will no doubt have shocking conversions. Fat girls looking for lean body builders, a girl with no or minimal education looking for a doctor, lawyer or investment banker. Parents of a 5 feet tall girl looking for a guy over 6 feet......

I myself have had ridiculous conversations, with one girls dad asking my salary, another asking how much my flat was worth, one asked what car I have another querying my degrees when his daughter didn't even go to university. One even called my place of work to check I work there as he clearly thought I was lying - and then told me. Another asked where our house was in India. One asked for proof I was jatt. Proof?!?! I told him I was sikh. He said the days anyone is sikh and first and foremost he would only talk to jatts.

I don't really care about any of these things but it shows you what drives a family. And I have said it before, the single most destructive thing in our kaum, is the hijacking of sikh ethos and distortion by jattism behvkoofi

What you find is that men and women look for different things in a partner.

Reality is that biology trumps everything.

Women will look for a tall man athletic man because they want to a man with strong genes to pass on to her children. This is biologically hard-wired into women over thousands of years. In hunter-gatherer societies when you could be attacked by another tribe or by wild animals, you want a big strong man to protect you.

They will also ask for a man who is far more educated and earns more money because a woman historically would want a man that was higher in social status who can provision for her and her children. Historically, women did not have professions and were financially dependent on their husbands so therefore it would make sense for them to pick the highest social status man that they can.

Men tend to look for a younger woman (they tend not to look for social status) because of fertility.

 

 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

8 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

With a lot of Punjabi women being fickle with the latest trends and fashions, I thought that with the uptake of hipster beards and man buns that they would be fickle enough to be attracted to the kesh. 

IKR?                                :rofl

VJKK VJKF

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Guest London jwaan
15 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

What you find is that men and women look for different things in a partner.

Reality is that biology trumps everything.

Women will look for a tall man athletic man because they want to a man with strong genes to pass on to her children. This is biologically hard-wired into women over thousands of years. In hunter-gatherer societies when you could be attacked by another tribe or by wild animals, you want a big strong man to protect you.

They will also ask for a man who is far more educated and earns more money because a woman historically would want a man that was higher in social status who can provision for her and her children. Historically, women did not have professions and were financially dependent on their husbands so therefore it would make sense for them to pick the highest social status man that they can.

Men tend to look for a younger woman (they tend not to look for social status) because of fertility.

 

 

This missed the point completely  I'm afraid  ranjeet. What is the meaning of "Sikhs" putting aside ask their fake piousness and becoming obsessed with caste. And also trying to marry off roly poly daughters to adonises?

And whilst 4"11 girls parents might want a guy of 6'4", biologically hardwired or not, why would the guy want a midget.

And the obsession with money is against everything in sikhi. Demanding a guy already has a house, does not live with his parents, and must be a doctor, banker, lawyer etc is severe nonsense. What is the girl bringing to the table? Where is her house? What is the cut off salary huh? How much is enough?

All paath goes out of the window when is matrimonial time. Like I said I was asked for proof of being jatt. My answer was that most of my relatives are uneducated and unpadh so that should be sufficient proof.

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