Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.

[Guest Gurj Singh]

On 2/20/2019 at 3:36 PM, MisterrSingh said:

The sad thing is when the "Second Choice" Singh thinks he's getting the goods based on his personality or his general appeal, whether it be the status his education and career affords him, or the general reputation of his family, etc., when in fact he's being played because the girl was sleeping with everything male that possessed a pulse; she got found out, and then decides to dress up as a simple bebeh and venture into a Gurdwara to make a display of her shardaa in order to ensnare a foolish, thirsty Singh who doesn't know the ways of the world. That's pure maari kismat on the Singh's part. She isn't repentant for her mistakes or her past; she just wants to use the supposed respectability offered by a decent Sikh as a shroud to veil her own indiscretions. Eventually, when they do get married, she either gradually and subtley (through a combination of sex and a pleasant demeanour) moulds the Singh to her own mentality, or if the Singh is particularly resilient and refuses to compromise on certain things, she ends up divorcing him. And still Singh Ji doesn't learn his lesson!

Spot on. My brother (passed away now) fell for the same thing. His wife became a 'singhni' just before marriage, despite all the indiscretions of her past (drinking, adultery, clubbing, etc). Everyone warned my brother, but too little too late, he was brainwashed. In the end, his wife's true colours came out, he found out she was sleeping around, they fought - they were close to a divorce - but through some illogical bravado may have thought it better not to live than divorce (which of course the wife was not bothered about) - so he tried to commit two failed suicide attempts (tablet overdose) but ultimately succumbed to pneumonia. Of course, by then, his temporary 'singhni' wife left her Sikhi by then - now that everyone knows the her true colours. Sadly they had a daughter who will probably turn out like her mother.

The moral of the story? Stick to your guns, these leeches are everywhere.

I would rather die a horrible death than get married and become a 'second choice' Singh - or a Singh being used to veil the filthy reputation of a girl looking to artificially redeem herself through marriage.

[Guest guest]

On 4/12/2019 at 11:23 AM, TinnkerBell said:

But what was its meaning bai ji

menu smaj hi ni aaya ji

 

just when you said that even though you had to go through 600 potential matches, you had a good time.  but i wasn't trying to be mean, just saying that sounds like it would have been difficult?

[MisterrSingh]

On 4/13/2019 at 1:32 PM, Guest Gurj Singh said:

I would rather die a horrible death than get married and become a 'second choice' Singh - or a Singh being used to veil the filthy reputation of a girl looking to artificially redeem herself through marriage.

The sad thing is for those who end up in these situations is actually a two-pronged issue: 1. People don't really change. They may pretend as if they've had some great revelation that's drawn them to the light but it's pakandh most of the time, and if, by chance, there is some brief moment of introspection and desire to turn over a new leaf it isn't permanent. Apne lack a conscience to see things through. We're like children with a new toy at times; the novelty eventually wears off, and we return to what were previously. 2. Singhs don't listen. I assume such stubbornness is rooted in a combination of desire / affection for the girl and an overestimation of their own abilities. It always surprises me how even the most mediocre woman can bring a fairly competent man to his knees. What chance does a sheltered and gullible guy have against such a person? 

[Guest Anon guest]

I agree with Guest Kaurs Uniqueness. Although not being amritdhari yet I have been raised in an amritdhari household and hope to have amrit before marriage( have always kept my hair/been vegetarian/never drank or had past relationships) . I am 27 and have no idea how to go about finding someone ..nobody suggests people anymore and there isn't a decent platform to find people. I have seen plenty of singhs marry girls who cut their hair and it is disheartening!

[Guest Javed Masih]

[AcceptWill201]

On 4/9/2019 at 11:01 PM, Guest Kaurs Uniqueness said:

Vjkk Vjkf

I find this quite surprising but I've found that it hasn't been an easy journey trying to find someone to marry as an Amritdhari females most of the amritdhari guys I know would prefer to marry non-amritdhari girls. It's funny really! I feel like I should be putting an ad out like 'Where's all the amritdhari guys gone- do you still exist?!" Saying this though I keep my kesh (including facial hair) and this isn't accepted by most amritdhari guys I don't see why but then clearly if females have a problem with guys facial hair then guys are bound to be similar as well. I bit of an inconvenience really but I suppose it is all down to your fate/kismet whatever you want to call it.

I don't think anyone should have to change themselves just to get married you might up doing that your whole life and your future partner might never be happy so you should do what makes you happy without having to compromise your faith and beliefs. 

Its sad ppl have double standards when it comes to amritdhari bibiyan keeping kesh. Id say dont compromise your values for those sorta people.

 

[Koi]

There are Amritdhari guys out there. Trust me, especially in the UK.

There are many problems when trying to find someone (I'm 33 years old). I recently got in contact with an Amritdhari bibi through a Gurdwara website. We both fit each others criteria, and she's about a year and a half older than me (she'll be 35 in a couple of months). I'd actually seen her profile in other places as well, so was nice to get things started. 

However, as soon as we got talking, she told me her mother still believes in caste (Jatts, of course), and while she herself doesn't, because of her parents she can't progress the situation. 

Now, I'm not going to go in to my usual rant about caste, but, the girl is almost 35, give it up already!!! If everything else matches, then why not go for it? And this is not an isolated case, most Jatt parents are like that. They may not know anything about religion, but they know they want a Jatt .

On a more general note, I understand everyone has their own personal criteria, shaped by their own understanding and experience. I'm Amritdhari myself, yet most Amritdhari girls I have come across are completely immature and live inside their own bubble. And it's sad, because initially I wanted to get married to an Amritdhari girl, but I very quickly became disillusioned when I started talking to them. They know nothing about life or marriage. Of course I'm not saying all are like that (obviously), but most that I've come across are. And it really does sadden me to say this.

To those that would beat the drum of "never compromise", understand that marriage is all about compromise. Of course don't compromise your Sikhi (not saying that at all), but if you want to get married (and you want that marriage to last), do the mature thing and learn to compromise. 

In the end I'll just say marry who you want, because it's a decision you'll have to live with for the rest of your life...

[indersingh1313]

17 hours ago, Koi said:

There are Amritdhari guys out there. Trust me, especially in the UK.

There are many problems when trying to find someone (I'm 33 years old). I recently got in contact with an Amritdhari bibi through a Gurdwara website. We both fit each others criteria, and she's about a year and a half older than me (she'll be 35 in a couple of months). I'd actually seen her profile in other places as well, so was nice to get things started. 

However, as soon as we got talking, she told me her mother still believes in caste (Jatts, of course), and while she herself doesn't, because of her parents she can't progress the situation. 

Now, I'm not going to go in to my usual rant about caste, but, the girl is almost 35, give it up already!!! If everything else matches, then why not go for it? And this is not an isolated case, most Jatt parents are like that. They may not know anything about religion, but they know they want a Jatt .

On a more general note, I understand everyone has their own personal criteria, shaped by their own understanding and experience. I'm Amritdhari myself, yet most Amritdhari girls I have come across are completely immature and live inside their own bubble. And it's sad, because initially I wanted to get married to an Amritdhari girl, but I very quickly became disillusioned when I started talking to them. They know nothing about life or marriage. Of course I'm not saying all are like that (obviously), but most that I've come across are. And it really does sadden me to say this.

To those that would beat the drum of "never compromise", understand that marriage is all about compromise. Of course don't compromise your Sikhi (not saying that at all), but if you want to get married (and you want that marriage to last), do the mature thing and learn to compromise. 

In the end I'll just say marry who you want, because it's a decision you'll have to live with for the rest of your life...

sorry to hear this bro!

I understand, as a Sikh we shouldn't believe in a caste system. people still believe in a caste because they have been living in a society which  believe in a caste system for a long period of time. I know its wrong but as a parents, they think that their society will not accept it and they will have to face a lot of embarrassments in a society on everyday basis.

As a Sikh we try and do everything Guru's way but there are certain things we do our own way and we still consider ourself as a Sikh. similarly older generation maybe aware of this caste system issue but they still stuck with it and doing it their own way.

note:- keep your focus clear and do not get distracted with these issues and I am sure you will find someone soon. chardi kala.

[AkalkiFauj]

On 2/21/2019 at 9:27 AM, TinnkerBell said:

And within 2 weeks going to get married . 

In last 6 months, I talked to almost 400 plus girls( including their parents), met about 9 girls in person ( with parents ofcourse). She is the 10 th .

i got good experience to guide other younger brothers especially if they are finding a girl in punjab.

happy late aniversary.......

[Guest Singh]

Any good matrimonial sites that tailor to Canadians?