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Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.

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8 hours ago, Guest London jwaan said:

This missed the point completely  I'm afraid  ranjeet. What is the meaning of "Sikhs" putting aside ask their fake piousness and becoming obsessed with caste. And also trying to marry off roly poly daughters to adonises?

And whilst 4"11 girls parents might want a guy of 6'4", biologically hardwired or not, why would the guy want a midget.

And the obsession with money is against everything in sikhi. Demanding a guy already has a house, does not live with his parents, and must be a doctor, banker, lawyer etc is severe nonsense. What is the girl bringing to the table? Where is her house? What is the cut off salary huh? How much is enough?

All paath goes out of the window when is matrimonial time. Like I said I was asked for proof of being jatt. My answer was that most of my relatives are uneducated and unpadh so that should be sufficient proof.

 

The problem is that we are following ideals and standards, you are expected people to follow those same ideals and standards.

But they won't. You have understand people for who they are not what you wish them to be.

Even if they proclaim to follow Sikhi.

What you are experiencing is anger. You have been born and raised with high values, but your eyes have been opened to the realities. You have swallowed the red-pill and it has left you with a very bitter taste. 

 

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Guest London jwaan
1 hour ago, Ranjeet01 said:

 

The problem is that we are following ideals and standards, you are expected people to follow those same ideals and standards.

But they won't. You have understand people for who they are not what you wish them to be.

Even if they proclaim to follow Sikhi.

What you are experiencing is anger. You have been born and raised with high values, but your eyes have been opened to the realities. You have swallowed the red-pill and it has left you with a very bitter taste. 

 

Not really. I don't have bitterness or anger. What I do have is disgust. Apnay claiming to be more righteous than other apnay, and then the materiality reveals itself with the superficiality beneath the surface that voids all sikhi, paath or amrit as soon as matrimonials are involved.

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Guest Singh
1 hour ago, Ranjeet01 said:

 

The problem is that we are following ideals and standards, you are expected people to follow those same ideals and standards.

But they won't. You have understand people for who they are not what you wish them to be.

Even if they proclaim to follow Sikhi.

What you are experiencing is anger. You have been born and raised with high values, but your eyes have been opened to the realities. You have swallowed the red-pill and it has left you with a very bitter taste. 

 

This is very true! Born and raised one way and expecting others to hold similar values is near impossible. Bitter truth...but people have no reasoning or understanding nowadays....we all fixed into a certain way and have expectations 

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VJKK VJKF Brother,

 

To be honest with you - I hear what you are saying. I had the same issues although I didn't have a full grown beard. But when I did find the woman that I wanted to marry, not only did she encourage me to grow out my daari she has been ever more supportive of growing together in Sikhi. Since our Anand Karaaj we have only grown more in love with Sikhi.

 

Trust me its hard but its worth it in the end when you find the right woman. Keep faith brother and do Ardas to Maharaaj

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Guest Singh
On 01/12/2017 at 2:09 PM, PranaamShaheedaNu said:

VJKK VJKF Brother,

 

To be honest with you - I hear what you are saying. I had the same issues although I didn't have a full grown beard. But when I did find the woman that I wanted to marry, not only did she encourage me to grow out my daari she has been ever more supportive of growing together in Sikhi. Since our Anand Karaaj we have only grown more in love with Sikhi.

 

Trust me its hard but its worth it in the end when you find the right woman. Keep faith brother and do Ardas to Maharaaj

Thanks Bhaji, I have kept faith and along with all the other comments from people here... have put things straight for me again. Not gonna lie it's hard but always have hope. if it's meant to be then it will be. 

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Guest Kaurageous

WJKK WJKF

 

I have just come across this thread during an internet search, so I apologise that my input seems delayed since I realise that the post was created towards the end of November. 

 

But upon reading all of the comments, I didn't want to keep quiet. To the Singh who initiated this discussion (forgive me, I don't know your name) - I'm sorry to hear that you have faced such difficulties in trying to find a Sikh girl for yourself. I agree with everyone that you should never stray from your beliefs nor values (including to keep your full beard) simply to please someone else. Have faith in Waheguru that the right woman for you will enter your life at the right time, as according to His will. 

 

I also wanted to highlight, that it is not only females who are moving away from Sikhi. The examples of drinking, clubbing and staying out late have been used - so for the sake of keeping my point relevant to this discussion, I will use those same examples to state that not all Sikh males are pure of these activities. In fact, most of those whom I know are drinkers and party-goers. So before we jump to criticise the females alone, let us not forget that there is a level playing field here - especially if we can all agree that Sikhism is based on equality.. I was introduced to a Singh in search of a "nice Sikh girl" - yet he himself is clean shaven, smokes and drinks. The irony of it all left me speechless. 

 

To be honest with you all, I had typed in "Sikh girl moving away from the faith" when I found this web discussion. I find myself very lost and confused, in a faith crisis if you will, because I feel that being born and raised in the UK has diluted the richness of my Sikh faith. Whilst this sounds like an excuse because I know that I am in control of what I do and don't do (with Waheguru's guidance and grace of course), I feel weakened by the Western culture that surrounds me.

 

Anyway, I digress as usual. Please forgive me if you feel that I have overstepped any line or offended anyone - I had/have no intention of doing so whatsoever. But I feel that someone in this thread needed to defend - without condoning the behaviour of - Sikh females who have lost their way, because there are males in our faith who have too. The best and most powerful tool we are equipped with to help our brothers and sisters in such limbo is that of doing paath. Pray that they will find their way back to their Sikh roots.

 

Wishing you all the very best in your endeavours to find a suitable life partner.

 

WJKK WJKF

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Guest Change your thinking
On 20/11/2017 at 7:49 PM, Guest Singh said:

Hi,

This has probably been discussed before but it's something I can't really wrap my head around. I'm a singh with full beard and have cousins who are the same, we are finding it difficult to find Sikh girls as life partners. The ones I've been introduced to have a problem with me not cutting my beard and being vegetarian etc... few have asked me if I would cut my beard etc... this coming from supposedly Sikh girls and it's quite disgraceful. 

I've had more interest from girls who are not Sikh...i.e Gujarati, English girls etc.. who don't seem to care about me being a full singh, it's raising questions in my head about the future of Sikhi as a whole, our Sikh girls are moving away from our faith/traditions and adopting western values and ways above all. One of my cousins got fed up and cut his beard in the hopes to be more 'accepted', but I feel this is the wrong choice to make. I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind but I don't want to move away from Sikhi just to find a wife, but it seems like our Sikh girls are. 

 

Suppose this is more of a rant than a question as such. 

A non sikh who is more tolerant of your appearance is a better choice than one who isn't. Take off your rose colored glasses and see people for who they are. 

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2 hours ago, Guest Change your thinking said:

A non sikh who is more tolerant of your appearance is a better choice than one who isn't. Take off your rose colored glasses and see people for who they are. 

Inter-religious marriages are not allowed in sikhi dharam.

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Can someone for god sake create an international based matrimonial website? In this age, we Sikhs shouldn’t have trouble finding the right partner. Who wants to start this project. I’m willing to invest.

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38 minutes ago, S1ngh said:

Can someone for god sake create an international based matrimonial website? In this age, we Sikhs shouldn’t have trouble finding the right partner. Who wants to start this project. I’m willing to invest.

Here's an idea for website's banner

25542559_10204171862412810_4714649842986419079_o.jpg

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Guest Ma22

I am a white woman who attends a Sikh gurdwara at least 3 times a week. What I have learnt so far about Sikh from talking to the gianji’s and people there is invaluable. You are proud of what being a Sikh stands for and to talk about it and the history. This to me is attractive, the beard and turban are part of your identity of who you are. I wouldn’t want a man to change any part of himself  to please me, so be proud of who you are and what you were given. And after the people I have met who are Sikh, I would be more than happy marry a Sikh guy and happily bring our children up Sikh, knowing the history and what it means to be Sikh. 

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