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Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.

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On 11/22/2017 at 11:10 PM, harsharan000 said:

as I usually say, stick faithfully strong to sikhee. wahiguru is much much more important than anything anywhere.

Just keep in mind, before one is born, destiny is already tailored  to the milimetere.

And if it is written in one´s destiny to meet someone or have a spouse, believe it, it will sure happen, though that person maybe 7 seas far away, because one has karmic accoount to settle with that person, so is the same, which applies to any of our other relations.

So, relax and cool down, do not get perturbered by these thoughts.

If you eever have to worry for anything at all, just keep a check on yourself, of how much do you engage in His bhakti at His Lotus Feet.

Give yourself up wholeheartedly to Him, and He will look out for your needs as a true Mata/Pita.

I don't think the Sikhi way of things is to just wait for some planned out destiny to unfold and instead is to create it (free will). This sort of advice although may make someone "feel" (keep them in an uncomfortable situation longer) better in the short term in the long term does nothing but delay them taking charge/responsibility of their actions and the outcomes they bring.

You want to start a business but you need a 100k investment, you work hard on building that 100k so that you can start it. Nobody is going to hand that to you, no matter how hard you pray. Having faith in Waheguru is having faith in the opportunity we have been given and in yourself and not waiting for handouts or in this case fairy tales.

Also, the sjw people aren't going to like this but you deserve the truth. To the OP or whoever else is reading this topic. Don't take advice from women about women.

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1 hour ago, Jaggaa said:

I don't think the Sikhi way of things is to just wait for some planned out destiny to unfold and instead is to create it (free will). This sort of advice although may make someone "feel" (keep them in an uncomfortable situation longer) better in the short term in the long term does nothing but delay them taking charge/responsibility of their actions and the outcomes they bring.

You want to start a business but you need a 100k investment, you work hard on building that 100k so that you can start it. Nobody is going to hand that to you, no matter how hard you pray. Having faith in Waheguru is having faith in the opportunity we have been given and in yourself and not waiting for handouts or in this case fairy tales.

Also, the sjw people aren't going to like this but you deserve the truth. To the OP or whoever else is reading this topic. Don't take advice from women about women.

O na na bai ji, i asked advice from sikh boys and not girls 😁

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On 1/29/2019 at 7:06 AM, BhForce said:

You should ensure that she is at the same level of Sikhism as you, whatever that is.

if someone looks at sikhi as a religion called sikhism, they already have a different mindset to me lol !

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On 1/29/2019 at 6:02 AM, BhForce said:

I'd never say that a Sikh should cut his hair, bro.

But for those who already are, I have to admit that they would want to marry a mona/moni.

Sad, but reality.

so how do we deal with this discrimination problem?

 

It's different dealing with racism from goray and skinheads, and they dealt with it doing rallies in the 60s and 70s.

But when the racism comes internally from the community then what? And also if the discrimination is actually allowed in gurdwara lists isn't there a problem with the community mindset?

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Guest Kill Infanticide

A big part of why Singhs are finding it hard to find marriage partners is the skewed gender ratio in Punjab

So there is a significant and immoral imbalance of the male population which is higher than the female population in Punjab due to female infanticide which has resulted in the Sikh population being millions smaller as a result today due to people ignoring the guidance of Gurmat condemning this inhumane and barbaric practise. This is a self-inflicted Genocide that too many are silent about.

And in the West at least around 20% of young men and women have marriage partners from other backgrounds (leaving a smaller population pool for the remaining Sikhs). This means that unless Singhs are pragmatic about marrying good women who respect them (regardless of the female's background) then an increasing number of Singhs will find themselves still unmarried at older ages up to their 30's and 40's if they insist on finding women from a decreasingly smaller population pool of women who have both parents from a Punjabi Sikh background.  

The Arabs are a minority of Muslims and Arab men will regularly marry whoever they choose without fear of Islam dying out as a result. In contrast, despite Sikhi being the 100% truth we have Sikhs who fear that Sikhi will somehow die out if non-Punjabi's become a majority of future Sikhs. Which is a crazy way of thinking given that almost 90% of ethnic Punjabi's in Pakistan, Haryana, Himachal etc are non-Sikhs.

 

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On 2/4/2019 at 3:11 PM, ipledgeblue said:

so how do we deal with this discrimination problem?

 

It's different dealing with racism from goray and skinheads, and they dealt with it doing rallies in the 60s and 70s.

But when the racism comes internally from the community then what? And also if the discrimination is actually allowed in gurdwara lists isn't there a problem with the community mindset?

 

There is nothing we can do.  For every young Sikh woman who keeps her kesh, there are maybe 5-10 young Sikh men who keep their kesh.  So except for the lucky Singhs who find life partners who have kept their kesh, most Singhs will be left with one of three options:

1. Try to convince a hair-cutting girl who most likely prefers a mona to marry him

2. Give up and remain single

3. Trim his beard and/or cut his hair

 

Indeed, there is a problem with the community mindset.  And this problem is only going to get worse with time. 

99.9% of Sikh kids who grow up in hair-cutting families view Singhs as weird extremists and want nothing to do with them.  Of course, there are the 0.01% from this group who will move towards Sikhi, despite all the odds. 

What about Sikhs who grow up in "keshdhari" families?  Most of them will cut their hair and raise children who adopt the views of the children described in the previous paragraph.  90% of the boys will at some point trim their beards and/or cut their hair.  And 95% of the girls from such families will cut their hair and only marry monay. 

Edited by californiasardar1
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29 minutes ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

There is nothing we can do.  For every young Sikh women who keeps her kesh, there are maybe 5-10 young Sikh men who keep their kesh.  So except for the lucky Singhs who find life partners who have kept their kesh, most Singhs will be left with one of three options:

1. Try to convince a hair-cutting girl who most likely prefers a mona to marry him

2. Give up and remain single

3. Trim his beard and/or cut his hair

 

Indeed, there is a problem with the community mindset.  And this problem is only going to get worse with time. 

99.9% of Sikh kids who grow up in hair-cutting families view Singhs as weird extremists and want nothing to do with them.  Of course, there are the 0.01% from this group who will move towards Sikhi, despite all the odds. 

What about Sikhs who grow up in "keshdhari" families?  Most of them will cut their hair and raise children who adopt the views of the children described in the previous paragraph.  90% of the boys will at some point trim their beards and/or cut their hair.  And 95% of the girls from such families will cut their hair and only marry monay. 

Spot on

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7 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

There is nothing we can do.  For every young Sikh woman who keeps her kesh, there are maybe 5-10 young Sikh men who keep their kesh.  So except for the lucky Singhs who find life partners who have kept their kesh, most Singhs will be left with one of three options:

1. Try to convince a hair-cutting girl who most likely prefers a mona to marry him

2. Give up and remain single

3. Trim his beard and/or cut his hair

 

Indeed, there is a problem with the community mindset.  And this problem is only going to get worse with time. 

99.9% of Sikh kids who grow up in hair-cutting families view Singhs as weird extremists and want nothing to do with them.  Of course, there are the 0.01% from this group who will move towards Sikhi, despite all the odds. 

What about Sikhs who grow up in "keshdhari" families?  Most of them will cut their hair and raise children who adopt the views of the children described in the previous paragraph.  90% of the boys will at some point trim their beards and/or cut their hair.  And 95% of the girls from such families will cut their hair and only marry monay. 

I am the lucky one then 😊

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I wanna marry a girl who keeps a joorah, does paath, doesn't eat meat, is virgin, and comes from a traditional family like mine.     Sounds like a lot in this day and age LMAO 

Caste doesn't bother me 

Its not much though is it ... 

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Guest Sikhi is the Truth
On 2/17/2019 at 5:01 AM, Guest Kill Infanticide said:

A big part of why Singhs are finding it hard to find marriage partners is the skewed gender ratio in Punjab

So there is a significant and immoral imbalance of the male population which is higher than the female population in Punjab due to female infanticide which has resulted in the Sikh population being millions smaller as a result today due to people ignoring the guidance of Gurmat condemning this inhumane and barbaric practise. This is a self-inflicted Genocide that too many are silent about.

And in the West at least around 20% of young men and women have marriage partners from other backgrounds (leaving a smaller population pool for the remaining Sikhs). This means that unless Singhs are pragmatic about marrying good women who respect them (regardless of the female's background) then an increasing number of Singhs will find themselves still unmarried at older ages up to their 30's and 40's if they insist on finding women from a decreasingly smaller population pool of women who have both parents from a Punjabi Sikh background.  

The Arabs are a minority of Muslims and Arab men will regularly marry whoever they choose without fear of Islam dying out as a result. In contrast, despite Sikhi being the 100% truth we have Sikhs who fear that Sikhi will somehow die out if non-Punjabi's become a majority of future Sikhs. Which is a crazy way of thinking given that almost 90% of ethnic Punjabi's in Pakistan, Punjab, Haryana, Himachal etc are non-Sikhs.

 

Don't forget selff-hatred from Punjabi's

17 hours ago, DailyMail said:

Spot on

So if you agree with California are you saying that the Punjabi Sikh population (and in particular Kesdhari's) are destined to die out more and more in the West with each passing generation? If so that means Singhs who cannot find women of matching spiritual/adherence levels will be forced to marry out.

10 hours ago, TinnkerBell said:

I am the lucky one then 😊

22g but what all the rest of the Qaum given the demographics in Punjab and the West

8 hours ago, puzzled said:

I wanna marry a girl who keeps a joorah, does paath, doesn't eat meat, is virgin, and comes from a traditional family like mine.

So if you don't happen to find a Punjaban like that you'd rather stay single or hope that you get lucky marrying late in your 30's and 40's by which time the Pakistani's children have passed their driving tests? Suppose there's a Jameeki who really likes you and spiritually understands God the same way you do. And as far as I can tell wouldn't stop you from practising Sikhi or transmitting Sikhi to the next generation. What makes you think that Sikh males are inferior to Muslim men in that we cannot transmit to the next generation if a wife is not Amritdhari or non-Punjabi but they seem to manage just fine. There to seem to be quite a few Sikh children of mixed heritage at my Gurdwara nowadays.

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Guest Manbir Singh
16 hours ago, TinnkerBell said:

I am the lucky one then 😊

Teach us the way brother. Within weeks from not knowing any Punjabi girl to engaged. And that too decent clean girl, who is into Sikhi. 

You could start your own seva and help many others?

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Guest GuestSingh
On 2/18/2019 at 12:19 PM, californiasardar1 said:

 

There is nothing we can do.  For every young Sikh woman who keeps her kesh, there are maybe 5-10 young Sikh men who keep their kesh.  So except for the lucky Singhs who find life partners who have kept their kesh, most Singhs will be left with one of three options:

1. Try to convince a hair-cutting girl who most likely prefers a mona to marry him

2. Give up and remain single

3. Trim his beard and/or cut his hair

 

Indeed, there is a problem with the community mindset.  And this problem is only going to get worse with time. 

99.9% of Sikh kids who grow up in hair-cutting families view Singhs as weird extremists and want nothing to do with them.  Of course, there are the 0.01% from this group who will move towards Sikhi, despite all the odds. 

What about Sikhs who grow up in "keshdhari" families?  Most of them will cut their hair and raise children who adopt the views of the children described in the previous paragraph.  90% of the boys will at some point trim their beards and/or cut their hair.  And 95% of the girls from such families will cut their hair and only marry monay. 

and if/when their marriages with a mona dont work out then thats when almost all of em wanna settle for a singh...cuz theyre safe, a 'fallback', a 'get outta jail card'....

a true singh should never accept being second best for anyone - if u werent good enough for em from the start then in my eyes u never will....

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