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Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.

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On 4/9/2019 at 11:01 PM, Guest Kaurs Uniqueness said:

Vjkk Vjkf

I find this quite surprising but I've found that it hasn't been an easy journey trying to find someone to marry as an Amritdhari females most of the amritdhari guys I know would prefer to marry non-amritdhari girls. It's funny really! I feel like I should be putting an ad out like 'Where's all the amritdhari guys gone- do you still exist?!" Saying this though I keep my kesh (including facial hair) and this isn't accepted by most amritdhari guys I don't see why but then clearly if females have a problem with guys facial hair then guys are bound to be similar as well. I bit of an inconvenience really but I suppose it is all down to your fate/kismet whatever you want to call it.

I don't think anyone should have to change themselves just to get married you might up doing that your whole life and your future partner might never be happy so you should do what makes you happy without having to compromise your faith and beliefs. 

Its sad ppl have double standards when it comes to amritdhari bibiyan keeping kesh. Id say dont compromise your values for those sorta people.

 

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There are Amritdhari guys out there. Trust me, especially in the UK.

There are many problems when trying to find someone (I'm 33 years old). I recently got in contact with an Amritdhari bibi through a Gurdwara website. We both fit each others criteria, and she's about a year and a half older than me (she'll be 35 in a couple of months). I'd actually seen her profile in other places as well, so was nice to get things started. 

However, as soon as we got talking, she told me her mother still believes in caste (Jatts, of course), and while she herself doesn't, because of her parents she can't progress the situation. 

Now, I'm not going to go in to my usual rant about caste, but, the girl is almost 35, give it up already!!! If everything else matches, then why not go for it? And this is not an isolated case, most Jatt parents are like that. They may not know anything about religion, but they know they want a Jatt 🤦🏾‍♂️.

On a more general note, I understand everyone has their own personal criteria, shaped by their own understanding and experience. I'm Amritdhari myself, yet most Amritdhari girls I have come across are completely immature and live inside their own bubble. And it's sad, because initially I wanted to get married to an Amritdhari girl, but I very quickly became disillusioned when I started talking to them. They know nothing about life or marriage. Of course I'm not saying all are like that (obviously), but most that I've come across are. And it really does sadden me to say this.

To those that would beat the drum of "never compromise", understand that marriage is all about compromise. Of course don't compromise your Sikhi (not saying that at all), but if you want to get married (and you want that marriage to last), do the mature thing and learn to compromise. 

In the end I'll just say marry who you want, because it's a decision you'll have to live with for the rest of your life...

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17 hours ago, Koi said:

There are Amritdhari guys out there. Trust me, especially in the UK.

There are many problems when trying to find someone (I'm 33 years old). I recently got in contact with an Amritdhari bibi through a Gurdwara website. We both fit each others criteria, and she's about a year and a half older than me (she'll be 35 in a couple of months). I'd actually seen her profile in other places as well, so was nice to get things started. 

However, as soon as we got talking, she told me her mother still believes in caste (Jatts, of course), and while she herself doesn't, because of her parents she can't progress the situation. 

Now, I'm not going to go in to my usual rant about caste, but, the girl is almost 35, give it up already!!! If everything else matches, then why not go for it? And this is not an isolated case, most Jatt parents are like that. They may not know anything about religion, but they know they want a Jatt 🤦🏾‍♂️.

On a more general note, I understand everyone has their own personal criteria, shaped by their own understanding and experience. I'm Amritdhari myself, yet most Amritdhari girls I have come across are completely immature and live inside their own bubble. And it's sad, because initially I wanted to get married to an Amritdhari girl, but I very quickly became disillusioned when I started talking to them. They know nothing about life or marriage. Of course I'm not saying all are like that (obviously), but most that I've come across are. And it really does sadden me to say this.

To those that would beat the drum of "never compromise", understand that marriage is all about compromise. Of course don't compromise your Sikhi (not saying that at all), but if you want to get married (and you want that marriage to last), do the mature thing and learn to compromise. 

In the end I'll just say marry who you want, because it's a decision you'll have to live with for the rest of your life...

sorry to hear this bro!

I understand, as a Sikh we shouldn't believe in a caste system. people still believe in a caste because they have been living in a society which  believe in a caste system for a long period of time. I know its wrong but as a parents, they think that their society will not accept it and they will have to face a lot of embarrassments in a society on everyday basis.

As a Sikh we try and do everything Guru's way but there are certain things we do our own way and we still consider ourself as a Sikh. similarly older generation maybe aware of this caste system issue but they still stuck with it and doing it their own way.

note:- keep your focus clear and do not get distracted with these issues and I am sure you will find someone soon. chardi kala.

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On 2/21/2019 at 9:27 AM, TinnkerBell said:

And within 2 weeks going to get married 😂

In last 6 months, I talked to almost 400 plus girls( including their parents), met about 9 girls in person ( with parents ofcourse). She is the 10 th 😍.

i got good experience to guide other younger brothers especially if they are finding a girl in punjab. 😎😁

happy late aniversary.......

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One other thing I've found is people don't take this process seriously enough. You need to put time and effort in to this and stop dragging things out. Whether it works out or not is fine, just stop wasting time. We're all "busy", we all got "things to do". Don't leave people hanging.

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On 11/11/2020 at 12:29 AM, indersingh1313 said:

sorry to hear this bro!

I understand, as a Sikh we shouldn't believe in a caste system. people still believe in a caste because they have been living in a society which  believe in a caste system for a long period of time. I know its wrong but as a parents, they think that their society will not accept it and they will have to face a lot of embarrassments in a society on everyday basis.

As a Sikh we try and do everything Guru's way but there are certain things we do our own way and we still consider ourself as a Sikh. similarly older generation maybe aware of this caste system issue but they still stuck with it and doing it their own way.

note:- keep your focus clear and do not get distracted with these issues and I am sure you will find someone soon. chardi kala.

not to go off topic, but all the Guru ji's married in their same castes.

when we talk about not looking at person's caste, we mean not looking down on someone, not having pride in your own caste, worshiping together.  but that doesn't mean caste intermarriage.

'modern' 'western' generation ignorantly think they are know it alls and morally superior, but they are just copying western thinking.  that isn't sikhi.

correct me if I'm wrong?

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14 hours ago, Guest guest said:

not to go off topic, but all the Guru ji's married in their same castes.

when we talk about not looking at person's caste, we mean not looking down on someone, not having pride in your own caste, worshiping together.  but that doesn't mean caste intermarriage.

'modern' 'western' generation ignorantly think they are know it alls and morally superior, but they are just copying western thinking.  that isn't sikhi.

correct me if I'm wrong?

do you think guru ji believed in caste system or support caste system?

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10 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

do you think guru ji believed in caste system or support caste system?

This is best dealt with in a separate topic (trust me lol)

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Guru sahib supported people marrying in the same biradhri because they came from the same background and lifestyle. Even in charitropakhyan mahraj gives lessons that you should marry ppl of same age, background etc. one lesson is an old guy cant keep a young woman for long 

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On 11/21/2020 at 11:35 AM, indersingh1313 said:

do you think guru ji believed in caste system or support caste system?

Sikhi was the biggest rebellion against the caste system. 

"Sikhs" from a certain caste are the biggest fans of the caste system and will do whatever it takes to promote/propagate it.  

 

 

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Guest Gurmat opposes caste
On 11/20/2020 at 9:23 PM, Guest guest said:

correct me if I'm wrong?

Mata Gujjar Kaur is the biggest proof that our Guru's had no caste.

Where did you read Mata Gujri ji was a Gujjar?

Sant Ji has done many katha re Mata Gujjar Kaur.

Gujjar is an ethnic tribe. It would hardly make sense for someone non-Zulu to be called Mata Zulu Kaur (presuming your familiarity with the Zulu tribe of South Africa).

http://www.boloji.co...&ArticleID=4084

"As late as 1757, Ahmed Shah Abdali carried out a massacre of Hindu Jats and Hindu Gujjars while invading Mathura, Vrindavan and Gokul during Holi.

But many Gujjars had always chosen death to Islam. The most revered instance is that of Mata Gujjar Kaur ' the mother of Guru Gobind Singh ' who along with her two grandsons Baba Zorawar Singh and Baba Fateh Singh chose to be bricked alive in a wall by Aurengzeb's henchman rather than reciting Kalima".

This is a piece written by author Dr Priyadarshi Dutta.

https://joshuaproject.net/people_groups/18078/IN

http://www.hindustantimes.com/india/who-are-the-gujjars/story-cHGOp2jkDxjWspEpXZuBAM.html

All of our Gurus were married in their own social group

Nonsense, that has historically only been asserted by Muslims, Hindu's and British enemies of the Sikh Panth. Sikhs should not fall prey to the same anti-Sikh rhetoric designed to perpetuate the caste system amongst Sikhs.

The Gujjars are a nomadic Muslim tribe that keeps cattle.

Would you please tell that to the crores of Hindu Gujjars in Rajasthan, Haryana, Delhi, UP and Gujarat who have achieved scheduled tribe status for millions of Hindu Gujjars.

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/other-states/obc-benefits-to-be-restored-to-gujjars-in-rajasthan/article18185814.ece

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rajesh_Pilot

So Sachin Pilot, Rajesh Pilot and the various Hindu Gujjar MP's are somehow Muslims in your perception because Gujjars happen to be a large landowning tribe in Pakistan?

Are you aware that many sources ascribe Gujjar ancestry to Baba Banda Singh Bahadur? Are you aware of the Gujjar ancestry of Sikh war hero Kuldip Singh Chandpuri? Heard of the famous Gujjar Sikh village of Chabrewal by any chance?

http://greatindianheroes.com/bravery/major-kuldip-singh-chandpuri/

Amritdhari Residents of the Chabrewal Village

Rupnagar, Nurpur Bedi (KP) -  Recently, a local Punjabi newspaper published an inspiring article about a particular Punjab village in the foothills of the Shivaliks that has rapidly accepted the Sikhi way of live, en masse - a trend that is opposite of what is happening in rest of Punjab.  Perhaps this unique village can inspire others across Punjab to return to their Sikhi roots.

Village Chabrewal is a small village in Nurper Bedi situated in the hills of Shivalik.  Because of its small size, this village goes unnoticed by the rest of the world and it enjoys a simple lifestyle--remaining aloof from worldly facilities and luxuries.  During one time, this village, which is mostly populated with the people of the Gujjar clan, was known for its people’s smoking and drinking habits--but now, it has been completely transformed by conversions of people who have chosen to adopt the Sikh faith.  Amritdhari men and women can be spotted easily upon entering the village.

The population of this village remains scarce, at about 250, but Mela Ram has now become Mela Singh, Jog Raj has now become Jog Raj Singh and Dolat Ram has now become Dolat Singh.  At least one member of every family has taken up the Sikh way of life by adopting the path shown by Guru Gobind Singh Ji.

According to Jog Raj Singh, the Chief of this Village, Sikh influence was brought here by a person named Mela Ram.  Mela Ram, Son of Babu Ram, was the first person to be baptized into the Khalsa Panth. Afterwards, he inspired many others as well.  Not only have the ordinary villagers taken up the Sikh way of life, many of the village’s amritdharis are eminent public figures.

Prof. Jaswinder Singh who teaches religious studies at the Kalgidhar Kanea School Kahnpur Khuhi said that Baba Dalip Singh Samirowal and Baba Gurcharan Singh, who performed seva of a historical shrine relating to the life of Guru Gobind Singh Ji, played a big role in nurturing Sikhi in this village.   In addition, Sikh Missionary College (Anandpur Sahib), Baba Channan Singh Suara and Principal Prem Singh Heerpur have continued to hold Gurmat related classes for the people which have helped many people.  Jaswinder Singh said that 1999 was a crucial year for the village as during this year, a large number of people became attached to bani and bana.

This area of the Shivalik Hills has been blessed with ‘charan-choh’ (presence and touch of the Holy Lotus feet) of Guru Gobind Singh Ji.  At Gurdwara Kataar Sahib, Guru Gobind Singh Ji blessed the father of Baba Sangat Singh Ji with a kataar.  Seva of this Gurdwara Sahib was organized by Baba Labh Singh Ji who handed the control of this shrine to the Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee.  Sikh Sangat visits this historical shrine in big numbers during the annual nangar kirtan and on special monthly programs.

(Original story appeared in the Punjabi version of Ajit)

Mata Gujri ji's father was (Gujjar) Lal Chand of Kartarpur, and mother was Bisan Kaur.

Yes they were Gujjars. Most Indian Gujjars to this day have the middle name Singh.

Does that sound like Muslim names?

All Gujjars were originally Hindu. Nowadays they are Hindu, Muslim and Sikh. Lal Chand and Bishan Kaur were of Gujjar ancestry as indeed were Mata Gujjar Kaur and of course Dasam Pita by extension. What is your problem with that? Why are you so keen to falsely classify (as the RSS wish) our Guru's as being from or marrying into one caste?

Assuming Lal Chand and his family were Gujjars, do you think that Guru Hargobind Ji could find no other marriage match than a bunch of wandering cattle-herders?

What a pathetic and casteist point of view which in no way refutes the truth of Mata Gujjar Kaur's Gujjar ancestry. Mata Gujjar Kaur for myself and all Sikh Sangat are higher in Sikhi than whichever rotten caste you ascribe higher status to.

Lal Chand and family resided at Kartarpur, having formerly resided at Lakhnaur.Resided, not wandering around.

If you seriously think all the tens of millions from the Gujjar tribe in India and Pakistan are all nomads, then you are very mistaken. It is akin to claiming all Irish people are travellers because a minority of them may happen to be.

Also, assuming Lal Chand ji's family were Gujjars, I think you know very well that if Muslims want to marry their daughter to somebody non-Muslim, they insist on the groom getting circumsized and initiated into Islam, if only as a formality.
 
Why do you assume that Lal Chand and Bishan Kaur are Gujjars of Muslim ancestry? Do you believe that Gujjars cannot have faith in Sikhi? If most Gujjars globally are non-Muslim your whole premise falls flat on its head. There are many thousand of Sikhs of Gujjar ancestry - the most famous of which being Mata Gujjar Kaur Ji.
 
So do you think that our Satguru, Guru Teg Bahadur ji, was a Muslim and had accepted that Mohammed was the Prophet of God?
 
No Guru Sahib rejected the peadophile slave trader known as Muhammad but your whole assertion that Lal Chand and Bishan Kaur were Muslims is highly laughable. They were of Gujjar ancestry yes but no they were not Muslim. If most Jatts are Muslims it does not follow that a small minority of those with Jatt ancestry cannot choose Sikhi. Similarly, if most Punjabi Khatri's are Pakistani Muslim Sheikhs it does not mean that some Sikhs cannot be of Khatri ancestry.
 
If so, what was the point of Emperor Aurangzeb beheading Guru Sahib? Guru ji was already a Muslim!
 
Again, this ties in with the lie asserted by Muslims, Hindu's and British enemies of Sikhi. That may be your belief - keep it to yourself!
 
Finally, how many families name their daughter after their caste?
 
Conversely, why would a specific tribal name be ascribed to Mata Gujjar Kaur, were it not for the fact that Mata Gujjar Kaur's ancestry was indeed Gujjar.

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14 hours ago, DailyMail said:

Sikhi was the biggest rebellion against the caste system. 

"Sikhs" from a certain caste are the biggest fans of the caste system and will do whatever it takes to promote/propagate it.  

 

 

true bro

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On 11/10/2020 at 4:29 PM, indersingh1313 said:

On a more general note, I understand everyone has their own personal criteria, shaped by their own understanding and experience. I'm Amritdhari myself, yet most Amritdhari girls I have come across are completely immature and live inside their own bubble. And it's sad, because initially I wanted to get married to an Amritdhari girl, but I very quickly became disillusioned when I started talking to them. They know nothing about life or marriage. Of course I'm not saying all are like that (obviously), but most that I've come across are. And it really does sadden me to say this.

What do you mean? 

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