Jump to content

fight stress,sadness


Guest guest
 Share

Recommended Posts

VJKK VJKF

1 hour ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

VJKK VJKF

I am glad

VJKK VJKF

Yea, same cos before I never used to care about anyone else other than myself but now, I see no other than Vaheguru. Some changes happen for the best. But we as humans only see the negative side to it. I'm glad to hear you're changing and not going on them dodgy websites again... Proud of you veerji. :clap: 

VJKK VJKF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Basically, mother In laws treating daughter in laws badly, and husband's doing the same is a massive issue in the UK especially I've noticed and should be addressed. 

Many cousins I have even women born in the UK have been treated badly by mother in laws and husbands.

Yeh daughter in laws can wreak havoc also but these are the main issues I've personally come across. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

Its disguisting the behaviour i have seen on daughter in laws here in the uk of all places i know and seen many happenings which i can't describe or say on here

Yeh I agree. 

In Ego, people lose sight of compassion and Humanity. 

Humbling yourself is the only way to keep your head on the ground and remain detached from the foolishness. 

Then you can see it for what it is. People need to start standing up against rubbish like this. 

I've noticed in certain cultures, men seem to think they can do what they want to women and treat them badly. It's ridiculous, we are all equal and all God's children, this is what us humans fail to understand,  recognize and accept. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest guest
On Sunday, December 24, 2017 at 12:19 PM, lostconfussedsingh said:

 Its horrible how the original poster must be feeling as i know without mentioning anyone how i have seen certain people in my family being treated especially when the daughter in law was bought from india into the uk. Their experinces are so horrible that suffered especially the tormenters who are amritdhari as i have seen this myself.

 

From my time on here i have learnt all you can do is any paath that you may read as thats what helped certain people in my family. 

 

I would have caused hell if i was in your shoes but like i said this site has a got effect on me now.

Laws here are so difficult..I can't take my son to India at my parents home without my husband's consent and if I go for seperation custody will be granted to both parents which means a small baby will be divided between two parents that is he will be with me for half week and rest of the week with dad plus I dont have any source of income..mmy mother in law and husband are so cruel.I am so scared of them it's effecting my health but they are so stubborn.no change in their behaviour.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest kaur princess

Desi households are usually dominated and run by mothers its a matricahal system.

So in order for the daughter in law to be accepted she needs to blend in within the family rules and norms otherwise she will be rejected by the mother in law and the females of the other household.

If the daughter in law wants to have a happy life she needs to blend in with the family or live apart with her husband the choice is entirely hers and her husbands.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

VJKK VJKF

1 hour ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

So far what i have seen its a 2 way situation either its the mother in law or daughter in law that don't get along in the house hold.  But in the UK its more from what i have seen in my family its the mother in law to blame as from what i have seen without saying too much

Yea I agree because the same happened to my mom. When she came to the UK she had to suffer many hardships. She was always in the kitchen and my family used to boss her about. Its a bigger issue than we think. Things are alright now though (for my mom). The point is that the mother-in-laws never make their daughter-in-laws feel welcome, as soon as they come: "Chalo hun pandey maanjo". They are told to work as soon as they arrive which is unfair. Then the mother-in-law just sits down in front of the TV watching Star Plus. Meanwhile the poor daughter-in-law is in the kitchen making food. Mostly this is the case but you do get the odd one who will stand-up and object. I have also seen it many times.

VJKK VJKF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mum had to have a bath once a week,  eat bhartha everyday yet she hated it, light a charcoal fire at 12 to get roti ready for 1. The dishes were washed sitting down on a khura and it is so difficult to bend when pregnant. Women used to tell her ' this is how you got treated and yet she never gossiped about her sas. After an year however her sas moved out so she had peace forever until we came here. 

Then roles got reversed and everything her sas did to her got done to the sas. All lekhe complete and the lady left for her heavenly abode.

My bro and sis always warned me against being mean to my MIL. They saw this <banned word filter activated> for tat repayment to my grandma happening and they understood the importance of being supportive to each other and living as a family with good wishes for each other. 

My own MIL was angry with me once. I went to tell her sorry and she was doing path on the SGGS. She told me dhorja and it became true. If she had blessed me something else we would all never have had to see that stupid dhukh.

A lady once told me - my sas and me were hugging each other and crying when we were going to be separated.  We used to read asa dhi vaar together on vaja every morning.  We were both going to miss that.  These days no sas and DIL get along together.  

How true that sentence of hers was.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Kaur princess
6 hours ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

So far what i have seen its a 2 way situation either its the mother in law or daughter in law that don't get along in the house hold. 

 

But in the UK its more from what i have seen in my family its the mother in law to blame as from what i have seen without saying too much

True, personally i dont feel there is any guidence for how mother in laws should welcome in new daughter in laws usually both clash cos of expectations and personalities.

Westernised women are very weak they cant handle living with husbands family and mother in law. And like wise mother in laws are very backward they cant accept a daughter in law as equal as their own kid cos blood is thicker than water.  But the least they should do is try not to treat them differently and daughter in law should always treat her husbands family with respect if she cant then she and hubby should move out plain and simple. Have a space to breathe and be themselves.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

VJKK VJKF

10 hours ago, sikhni777 said:

My mum had to have a bath once a week,  eat bhartha everyday yet she hated it, light a charcoal fire at 12 to get roti ready for 1. The dishes were washed sitting down on a khura and it is so difficult to bend when pregnant. Women used to tell her ' this is how you got treated and yet she never gossiped about her sas. After an year however her sas moved out so she had peace forever until we came here. 

Then roles got reversed and everything her sas did to her got done to the sas. All lekhe complete and the lady left for her heavenly abode.

My bro and sis always warned me against being mean to my MIL. They saw this <banned word filter activated> for tat repayment to my grandma happening and they understood the importance of being supportive to each other and living as a family with good wishes for each other. 

My own MIL was angry with me once. I went to tell her sorry and she was doing path on the SGGS. She told me dhorja and it became true. If she had blessed me something else we would all never have had to see that stupid dhukh.

A lady once told me - my sas and me were hugging each other and crying when we were going to be separated.  We used to read asa dhi vaar together on vaja every morning.  We were both going to miss that.  These days no sas and DIL get along together.  

How true that sentence of hers was.

The exact same happened to my mom too! The only difference was that when she had me then she didnt spend any time with me, she had to do work. She wasnt even allowed to feed me because my moms DIL didnt let her, he wanted to feed me himself. So they told my mom to heat up milk and put it in a baby bottle. So sad I feel so sorry for my mom. :/ 

 

VJKK VJKF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My sas had to lock her daughter up in a room so that she could work.  The poor girl cried and cried. There were no toys or tv in those days. My sas did not have a mum either.  So she was made to work like a donkey before and after marriage too. She is full of so much hate and still deals with us DILS very rudely. She has learnt nothing from the experience that she can be different.  She does 2 sukhmani sahib path everyday and all nitnem and rehras and mala too in the middle of the night.  However she not once has appreciated anything in life. 

Only koorh comes out of her mouth.  I really hope that I learn something from her behaviour and do not turn out to be like her. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use