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Loss of faith after marriage and depression


Guest Incompatible
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14 hours ago, Guest Incompatible said:

Thoughts are on what people do when their marriage is troubling and not the greatest feel God has forsaken me

nobody makes you  happy/sad/anger/calm these are all cooked up yourself in your mind ... by your interpretations and your reactions, so what can you do to change your state of mind ? Did you have an unrealistic view of what married life was going to be , many parents promise their girls that they will have total freedom after marriage to do fashion travelling socialising etc etc? Truth is adults have loads of responsibilities to themselves , their elders, their children, families and friends ...freedom is about doing what's right and being able to enjoy life  too . 

Think about it life doesn't screech to a halt in either case of happiness or sadness the necessary still needs to be done , your husband probably feels as disappointed by the pressures of really being an adult too , maybe talking with him will bring better understanding and cooperation. You BOTH want a good happy life but you have to work together for it . 

WAHEGURU JI never forsakes anyone IT/SHE/HE is with you always , there is nowhere where Guru ji is not , just ask for help

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1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

bro please don't ...

Sorry I was thinking out loud.

 

To the OP: Contact Relate for relationship counselling. They will help you work through your issues.

https://www.relate.org.uk/

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My mum told me to just hang in there.  No two days are going to be the same. After a storm comes calm. Therefore I ignore the hard bits and look at the positive.  I only realise what I have is valuable when I hear what people don't have.  

My hubby does not drink, spend lavishly or beat me. Do there's the positive though he gives in to his mum too much. Mamas boy. 

I decided to live with that.  Well I do let my frustration out at times.  However I am kind to myself and buy myself a nice gift to console myself.  I'm just around a few more years, better make the most of it. No sukh in hopping from partner to partner.

So if your problem is not Infidelity, the rest is all in your mind. You are not looking at the positives.

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22 hours ago, Guest Incompatible said:

Thoughts are on what people do when their marriage is troubling and not the greatest feel God has forsaken me

Why bring in beloved Sachay Patshah, and shamelessly blame Him for our misfortunes?

That also, when our present condition, it is due to our own karmas from our past.

Does not the Bani say: Aapay beejeh, aapay khaae. So Guest Jee, wher does Wahiguru comes in this picture of our destiny?

He is not like us unfaithful and disrespectful human beings, He is our Mata Pita, our Sajjan, our Bhaee, our Meet.

Just look at the situation from a higher perspective, He is so Dayalu, that in spite of any of your karam, He has still blessed you with the highest life form, the one of a human being, so that we learn something from Gurbani, do His bhakti that much, that we become one with Him?

So tell me, in which way has He forsaken you?

He has extended His arm to pull you out from this Bhavsagar, and you are blaming Him?

Aren´t you a bit arrogant and unjust with Him, though it maybe out of pain?

But even then, our distress should not take us away from Him, rather make us cling harder on His Lotus Feet.

Other thing is, we maybe not aware of our stock of karmas, and thus their reactions on us in the form of destiny, but nevertheless, we should never ever blame Him.

Following are some beautiful inspirational Sat Bachans from the Bani, I hope they give you some comfort:

ਜੇ ਸੁਖੁ ਦੇਹਿ ਤ ਤੁਝਹਿ ਅਰਾਧੀ ਦੁਖਿ ਭੀ ਤੁਝੈ ਧਿਆਈ ॥੨॥
Je sukẖ ḏėh ṯa ṯujẖėh arāḏẖī ḏukẖ bẖī ṯujẖai ḏẖi▫ā▫ī. ||2||
If You will bless me with happiness, then I will worship and adore You. Even in pain, I will meditate on You. ||2||

ਜੇ ਭੁਖ ਦੇਹਿ ਤ ਇਤ ਹੀ ਰਾਜਾ ਦੁਖ ਵਿਚਿ ਸੂਖ ਮਨਾਈ ॥੩॥
Je bẖukẖ ḏėh ṯa iṯ hī rājā ḏukẖ vicẖ sūkẖ manā▫ī. ||3||
Even if You give me hunger, I will still feel satisfied; I am joyful, even in the midst of sorrow. ||3||

ਤਨੁ ਮਨੁ ਕਾਟਿ ਕਾਟਿ ਸਭੁ ਅਰਪੀ ਵਿਚਿ ਅਗਨੀ ਆਪੁ ਜਲਾਈ ॥੪॥
Ŧan man kāt kāt sabẖ arpī vicẖ agnī āp jalā▫ī. ||4||
I would cut my mind and body apart into pieces, and offer them all to You; I would burn myself in fire. ||4||

 

Let us learn to love Him, strictly under all circumstances as seen above, for that is the right attitude to be had as a sikh.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

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On 17/12/2017 at 3:49 AM, Guest Incompatible said:

Thoughts are on what people do when their marriage is troubling and not the greatest feel God has forsaken me

Get counselling

And strengthen your faith. Pain is the medicine and pleasure is the disease. Pain is the push we need to recover from our mental illnesses and to embrace and walk into the light. 

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