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Guest DeepikaKaur1

Leave everything and stay at Darbar Sahib?

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Guest DeepikaKaur1

I dont want to hurt my Family.

I was married to an man, but i dont love him. I am in love with someone else. But I dont want to hurt my family by telling them

that I want to divorce. Thats why I thought i want to go to Darbar Sahib and stay there for a while. I will tell my Family that i am going to another country for 

a job. Is this correct? Is it ppossible to stay at Darbar Sahibb? 

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Guest Baljeet kaur

Seems you have already planned your mind and you are here just for some” yes yes you can,its your life so go ahead” kinda replies.

thanks

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Guest

If you loved somebody else why did you marry your husband in the first place? Now your husband might love you and you will destroy him because of your selfish wants? You committed to a relationship by marrying him and now just because you dont “love” him you want to run away from your problem? 

Unless your husband has been abusing you there should be no reason to leave. Love is a trap of maya, once you realize that you can be happy. Treat your husband like a proper husband and he will treat you like a proper wife and then you will be truly happy. 

If you think i am wrong then please refer to Gurbani. 

Also while in a relationship the husband or wife should never ever think about another person. This is written in gurbani as well.

Running away to Darbar Sahib is not gonna help you ever. Do you realize that the guru who created Darbar Sahib is the same Guru who created the Laavan da Paath? You will not find sanctuary in the house of the guru, especially for breaking the heart of somebody who is not at fault here.

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sudh jab te ham dhari, bacan gur dae hamare,

put ihe pran tone praan jab lag ghat thare,

nij nari ke sath neh tum nit bodhaio

par nari ki sej bhul supne hu na jayo

Ever since I came of age, the Guru instructed me thus:

Son, take an oath and keep it as long as there is life in you,

Love thy legal wife ever and ever so much that

Not even in a dream should you share the bed of other woman.

This shabad applies to both men and women

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On 20/12/2017 at 9:14 PM, Guest DeepikaKaur1 said:

Thats why I thought i want to go to Darbar Sahib and stay there for a while. I will tell my Family that i am going to another country for 

a job. Is this correct? Is it ppossible to stay at Darbar Sahibb? 

If you’re going to Sri Harmandir Sahib ji and staying there for a while, then you should not lie about it. No it is not correct to lie about where you are going and why lie about God’s house? Just because you can’t tell them the truth, don’t drag God into it. Whatever your situation or problems are, it’s not the right thing to lie about that. Tell your family why you are going there. It will be better in the long run as you have to one day. 

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9 hours ago, Singh123456777 said:

 If you loved somebody else why did you marry your husband in the first place? Now your husband might love you and you will destroy him because of your selfish wants? You committed to a relationship by marrying him and now just because you dont “love” him you want to run away from your problem? 

Unless your husband has been abusing you there should be no reason to leave. Love is a trap of maya, once you realize that you can be happy. Treat your husband like a proper husband and he will treat you like a proper wife and then you will be truly happy. 

Thanks for this extremely to-the-point response. Much better than someone posting to the OP that she should "do what makes you happy".

Chasing "happiness" is a fool's errand. You can be loaded  with a hundred million dollars, and still not be "happy". That's how much actor Robin Williams had when he decided to kill himself because he wasn't "happy".

True happiness resides in doing what the Guru wants us to do.

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On 20/12/2017 at 9:14 PM, Guest DeepikaKaur1 said:

I dont want to hurt my Family.

I was married to an man, but i dont love him. I am in love with someone else. But I dont want to hurt my family by telling them

that I want to divorce. Thats why I thought i want to go to Darbar Sahib and stay there for a while. I will tell my Family that i am going to another country for 

a job. Is this correct? Is it ppossible to stay at Darbar Sahibb? 

you have promised to support and love only one man in this life and that is your husband when you did Anand Karaj with every footstep you promised to be his trustworthy partner in life's mission to reach Akal Purakh. There is no way to back out of this promise to your creator and to try to do so will destroy BOTH families not just your husband and you want to do that, for a fickle love dream ?
Don't stir poison into the blessed life you have , spend more time with your husband and encourage him to be with you too, go to gurdwara together, even suggest going to Harmandir Sahib together learn about true sikhi and make your bonds strong in the faith with sewa and simran.

In the end , no lover boy's flowery promises are true , no one dies for anyone else , grow up and see the truth of this world , you need to never do that which make you regret in front of Guru ji ...

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On 12/21/2017 at 2:44 AM, Guest DeepikaKaur1 said:

I dont want to hurt my Family.

I was married to an man, but i dont love him. I am in love with someone else. But I dont want to hurt my family by telling them

that I want to divorce. Thats why I thought i want to go to Darbar Sahib and stay there for a while. I will tell my Family that i am going to another country for 

a job. Is this correct? Is it ppossible to stay at Darbar Sahibb? 

Yes, it is possible to stay at Darbar Sahib. If you're not able to make a booking in advance, book a hotel near Darbar Sahib via hotels.com or other booking sites.

I hope you are able to clear your head and dissuade yourself from the sin of breaking up a marriage for no reason at all.

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2 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

you have promised to support and love only one man in this life and that is your husband when you did Anand Karaj with every footstep you promised to be his trustworthy partner in life's mission to reach Akal Purakh. There is no way to back out of this promise to your creator and to try to do so will destroy BOTH families not just your husband and you want to do that, for a fickle love dream ?
Don't stir poison into the blessed life you have , spend more time with your husband and encourage him to be with you too, go to gurdwara together, even suggest going to Harmandir Sahib together learn about true sikhi and make your bonds strong in the faith with sewa and simran.

In the end , no lover boy's flowery promises are true , no one dies for anyone else , grow up and see the truth of this world , you need to never do that which make you regret in front of Guru ji ...

A person with these type of thinkings dont want to go to gurdwareys etc or do simran. If they were doing this stuff such as simran/bhagti in the first place they would not have been in this predicament in the first place.

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10 minutes ago, MrDoaba said:

Exactly.

These bewafa types have what's coming to them.

Saali begairat duniya.

Seriously

I have noticed that people are less faithful and loyal than the previous generation. People like this girl are not loyal and will never be loyal even to their so called “lover”.

Charitars were made for a reason

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2 minutes ago, Singh123456777 said:

A person with these type of thinkings dont want to go to gurdwareys etc or do simran. If they were doing this stuff such as simran/bhagti in the first place they would not have been in this predicament in the first place.

Maybe. But keep in mind, brother, that oftentimes when someone receives a blow in life, they will turn towards God. I hope she is able to find Him.

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1 minute ago, Singh123456777 said:

A person with these type of thinkings dont want to go to gurdwareys etc or do simran. If they were doing this stuff such as simran/bhagti in the first place they would not have been in this predicament in the first place.

dukh bhari amord mann iss samaae shahid torda torda sunn sakda  te samj lehga...one can only give words ATM not 'adjustment' which some garam bhaina would do to such a besharam aghiratghan

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4 minutes ago, Singh123456777 said:

Seriously

I have noticed that people are less faithful and loyal than the previous generation. People like this girl are not loyal and will never be loyal even to their so called “lover”.

Charitars were made for a reason

and the off button on the DVD player and Cable Box .... <banned word filter activated> bollywood drame dekh ka dimag kharab ho chuka

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2 minutes ago, Singh123456777 said:

Seriously

I have noticed that people are less faithful and loyal than the previous generation. People like this girl are not loyal and will never be loyal even to their so called “lover”.

Charitars were made for a reason

Yeah, I would like to ask this lover-boy Romeo of hers, given that she would be willing to throw her marriage away for a fling with a side-interest, what makes you think she wont' do the same exact thing when and if she's married to you?

ਦਾਵਾ ਅਗਨਿ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਤ੍ਰਿਣ ਜਾਲੇ ਕੋਈ ਹਰਿਆ ਬੂਟੁ ਰਹਿਓ ਰੀ ॥ Dhaavaa Agan Bahuth Thrin Jaalae Koee Hariaa Boott Rehiou Ree ||. The forest fire has burnt down so much of the grass; how rare are the plants which have remained green. ਆਸਾ (ਮਃ ੫) (੫੧) ੨:੧ - ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੩੮੪ 

 

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