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Divorce in Sikhism


Big_Tera
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With the divorce rate ever increasing. What does Sikhism say about divorce?

Also how many divorced women end up marrying non Sikhs?

I have heard of many stories of how women from our community say they have been mistreated by 'Sikh' husbands and their families. So then turn to non Sikhs. 

Also is divorce a problem of modern society. 

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1 hour ago, Big_Tera said:

With the divorce rate ever increasing. What does Sikhism say about divorce?

Also how many divorced women end up marrying non Sikhs?

I have heard of many stories of how women from our community say they have been mistreated by 'Sikh' husbands and their families. So then turn to non Sikhs. 

Also is divorce a problem of modern society. 

possibly the guys need to actually act like sikh husbands should gurbani anusar then the marriages would have a better rate of success. i.e. no muh fitkarna, no beating or harassing, day on day increasing love for his wife , honouring and respecting her as she respects him .

bibian need to drop the bollywood fantasy and the western high maintenance paths both lead to narak let alone destroy families. They need to return to developing their awareness of consequences and be the conscience and reminder of the family of things gursikh . So many bhagats and mahapurakhs had said their mother was their first encourager to do bhagti and to do sewa...

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2 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

With the divorce rate ever increasing. What does Sikhism say about divorce?

Also how many divorced women end up marrying non Sikhs?

I have heard of many stories of how women from our community say they have been mistreated by 'Sikh' husbands and their families. So then turn to non Sikhs. 

Also is divorce a problem of modern society. 

Does anyone know what the divorce rates for Sikhs are?

In general in mainstream society they quote that the figure is around 40 to 50 percent and 70 -80 percent is initiated by women.

In society, less people are getting married. Many men are dropping out of the marriage game because they don't see it as worth it.

Women do not need men as much in the traditional sense as they used to. Men are no longer the main breadwinners.

There are going to be repercussions in society. 

 

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13 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Does anyone know what the divorce rates for Sikhs are?

In general in mainstream society they quote that the figure is around 40 to 50 percent and 70 -80 percent is initiated by women.

In society, less people are getting married. Many men are dropping out of the marriage game because they don't see it as worth it.

Women do not need men as much in the traditional sense as they used to. Men are no longer the main breadwinners.

There are going to be repercussions in society. 

 

I think you'll find kalyugi attitudes promoted by MSM and Hollywood has made men into Stray Dogs who think nothing of multiple partners in or out of marriage , and today's women of the modern world are not like past generations who would swallow their pride and stay in a marriage like that as they can earn and look after their kids needs a bit better than their mothers and grandmothers .

The undermining of married life is suceeding and the government has planned to utilise this to destroy families further for instance UK immigration rules are that UK citizenship doesn't automatically pass to kids , only if parents are married at time of birth. There have been cases where due to Brexit kids have been kicked out with non Uk parent. Also with various benefits.

marriage comes with legal obligations to spouse and kids that's why guys are not going for it plus the benefits/tax credit system is easier to milk if unmarried couple .e.g four wives scenario

There is so much more to married life than who earns the crust especially when you have to create positive, self-reliant, altruistic gursikhs  it takes both parents and all the bazurg and Gurbani possible.

 

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

I think you'll find kalyugi attitudes promoted by MSM and Hollywood has made men into Stray Dogs who think nothing of multiple partners in or out of marriage , and today's women of the modern world are not like past generations who would swallow their pride and stay in a marriage like that as they can earn and look after their kids needs a bit better than their mothers and grandmothers .

The undermining of married life is suceeding and the government has planned to utilise this to destroy families further for instance UK immigration rules are that UK citizenship doesn't automatically pass to kids , only if parents are married at time of birth. There have been cases where due to Brexit kids have been kicked out with non Uk parent. Also with various benefits.

marriage comes with legal obligations to spouse and kids that's why guys are not going for it plus the benefits/tax credit system is easier to milk if unmarried couple .e.g four wives scenario

There is so much more to married life than who earns the crust especially when you have to create positive, self-reliant, altruistic gursikhs  it takes both parents and all the bazurg and Gurbani possible.

 

 

 

 

How many men have multiple partners though?

Only a small percentage of men historically have been able to do so, most men even in this contemporary age are still unable to do so.

How do you think the institution of marriage came about in the first place? 

What are you seeing happen in society is the feral nature of people returning.

 

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3 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

How many men have multiple partners though?

Only a small percentage of men historically have been able to do so, most men even in this contemporary age are still unable to do so.

How do you think the institution of marriage came about in the first place? 

What are you seeing happen in society is the feral nature of people returning.

 

i worked in an office and all the team were guys , of the eight men 4 were married, 2 single, 2 with girlfriends . only one stayed faithful to his girlfriend for the duration of the time i worked there the rest all were skirt hounds , one actually abandoned his wife baby and young daughter to have an affair with a new female colleague , one other would have numerous one night stands behind his long term wife's back and loved laughing about it with the other singletons of a Monday...

by my reckoning by now no one stays true for long in the western model neither the girls nor the guys...I mean they have hook-up apps now ....

1in 2 marriages fail and the marriages are about 2/3 of the previous decades figures it is all going south...

the pill was manufactured for MEN's freedom ... how can I say that , because in all these years they haven't developed an adequate pain solution for women during menses or solved the riddle of endometriosis, PCOS or any other female illness save let's plug you with hormones that make you go into premature menopause(give you cancer), or we can just cut you up , burn it out with laser and have it return.

Until men start acting like they have some standards /scruples/ethics nothing will change. I am tired of the abdication of responsibilty by guys ...  where Guru ji put you all into the correct mental model society was uplifting for all  and women were at last free of fear being raped/exploited.

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2 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

i worked in an office and all the team were guys , of the eight men 4 were married, 2 single, 2 with girlfriends . only one stayed faithful to his girlfriend for the duration of the time i worked there the rest all were skirt hounds , one actually abandoned his wife baby and young daughter to have an affair with a new female colleague , one other would have numerous one night stands behind his long term wife's back and loved laughing about it with the other singletons of a Monday...

by my reckoning by now no one stays true for long in the western model neither the girls nor the guys...I mean they have hook-up apps now ....

1in 2 marriages fail and the marriages are about 2/3 of the previous decades figures it is all going south...

the pill was manufactured for MEN's freedom ... how can I say that , because in all these years they haven't developed an adequate pain solution for women during menses or solved the riddle of endometriosis, PCOS or any other female illness save let's plug you with hormones that make you go into premature menopause(give you cancer), or we can just cut you up , burn it out with laser and have it return.

Until men start acting like they have some standards /scruples/ethics nothing will change. I am tired of the abdication of responsibilty by guys ...  where Guru ji put you all into the correct mental model society was uplifting for all  and women were at last free of fear being raped/exploited.

There is an old adage in western society that when a man tells you his notch count divide it by three  and when a woman tells you hers multiply it by three.

There are plenty of women that cheat, I cannot remember what the percentage of men who are unknowingly raising children that are not biologically theirs. 

The millenial generation are far less promiscuous than the previous generations. 

The pill came around the time when there was sexual revolution. But I ask again, how much "free love" was going around?

What did the pill really release? Even in the 1960s, the institution of marriage was pretty strong. 

I think that there were always repercussions on a woman's promiscuity with pregnancy, but it seems that the pill released something for a lot of women. 

Women do enjoy having s*x otherwise the human race would not have survived.

The new generation of men after 50 years of feminism are extremely feminised that they do not know how to relate to women, they are placed on the pedestal.

Is that you as a woman like to see in a man , a subservient doormat that worships the ground you walk on and suddenly becomes the assertive alpha male when it suits your purpose. 

It does not work like that. 

 

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48 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

There is an old adage in western society that when a man tells you his notch count divide it by three  and when a woman tells you hers multiply it by three.

There are plenty of women that cheat, I cannot remember what the percentage of men who are unknowingly raising children that are not biologically theirs. 

The millenial generation are far less promiscuous than the previous generations. 

The pill came around the time when there was sexual revolution. But I ask again, how much "free love" was going around?

What did the pill really release? Even in the 1960s, the institution of marriage was pretty strong. 

I think that there were always repercussions on a woman's promiscuity with pregnancy, but it seems that the pill released something for a lot of women. 

Women do enjoy having s*x otherwise the human race would not have survived.

The new generation of men after 50 years of feminism are extremely feminised that they do not know how to relate to women, they are placed on the pedestal.

Is that you as a woman like to see in a man , a subservient doormat that worships the ground you walk on and suddenly becomes the assertive alpha male when it suits your purpose. 

It does not work like that. 

 

in the 1960s it allowed married men to have that fling without the consequences , a la 'mad men ' ...

err  the pill was stigmatised from its inception that it was a bad girl's tool  as good married women why did they need to worry about being pregnancy yaddayadda yadda, it took at least until the eighties to lose that infamy . White folks can be judgey too.

the whole argument that women only have sex because they like it eliminates those who are forced, or told not to is against the whole obedience principle of Abrahamic faiths i.e. you have to obey your husband/you cannot say no....even Hindus have that kind of attitude 

that's why women in Pakistan/Afghanistan/catholics  have to be sly and take a norplant implantable control to prevent unwanted pregnancies and children they can't afford . The men will never agree as Allah/God will provide.

Not saying there aren't women who cheat but they lose much more than guys even these days ...they lose all respect of their peers , the women think of her as a loose cannon/maneater.threat , the men think she's easy/fodder/expendable.

I have three sons and I refuse to let them become new style wimps , I warn them of how women manipulate  and give them the inside edge so they don't get into a mess with headcases.- after all isn't that what a good parent does . No I don't see men as wholly different from me they are humans who on the whole have similar needs and wants , I don't go for the mind games they play also like the fake incompetence when it comes to domestic stuff  just as I don't let myself have excuses for not learning to do jobs such as fixing stuff, building furniture , decorating etc . I was not born with diy skills just as I was not born with dressmaking homemaking skills they all acquired with effort and time same him.

In crunch times such as our house fire I was the calm and focussed one and he froze did I freak NO because it can happen to anyone . I helped him get the kids out of their cots and out of the house instead trying to phone the fire brigade from the house ....same when he suddenly passed out mid meal(post dive) I picked him up off floor ,did ABC and phoned for the ambulance . When I needed him he was there for me . Ultimately I want to see someone I can rely on to share bad times and good times  just as I hope I am his backup . its just two halves of the same mirror ...helping each other to see our faults and to work towards improving them

 

 

 

 

 

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2 minutes ago, ipledgeblue said:

talaq is not compatible with dharmik culture, it is an abrahamic thing.

I guess many women didn't used to remarry either if they left their husband, but widows seemed to have married sometimes.

Remember that Singhs also used to practise polygamy including Bhai Mani Singh, but also many of his sons were Shaheed. 

Mani Singh ji had two wives didn't he ...  Muslim men have to pay a bride price so that is probably one reason not so many remarriages of  abandoned women unless they had own wealth. The other is the idea that there is someone alive who has known your wife ...very emasculating  and ego-pricking.

 

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