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jatt girl with pardra boy


Guest Sukhi1

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Hi there, 

 

I'm an 18 year old girl, i'm a sikh who is not an amritari and i'm with a pardra ( type of low caste dunno how to spell it sorry) sikh boy. I want to know your guys opinions on whether being with someone outside your caste is wrong as i think it is perfectly fine as we are both sikhs however my family would disagree very much as were are a Jatt family. He as already told his mum and dad and brother about us and we have only been speaking for 2 weeks and they are fine with it. My family want me to find a jatt boy but not currently. I think that it is okay that i'm with someone who is not of the same caste however i do notice some differences such as hes superstitious and i on the other hand think it's bulls**t and i have told him that. Also i feel that we call certain family members by different names e.g. i call my brothers wife bhabi ji and he would call his brothers wife perji. I feel that people say caste doesn't matter but their is a few differences that are clear but we can over look. I want to know whether this current situation is okay as i told my cousin and he feels that because he is not jatt i shouldn't be with him. I also see where he is coming from because there is clear differences between us but however we are both sikhs therefore surely it cannot be that bad as guru ji said we shouldn't believe in the caste system even though clear differences are still highlighted within certain areas and i feel that maybe being with a jatt boy would be easier.

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On 23/02/2018 at 6:28 PM, Guest Sukhi1 said:

Hi there, 

 

I'm an 18 year old girl, i'm a sikh who is not an amritari and i'm with a pardra ( type of low caste dunno how to spell it sorry) sikh boy. I want to know your guys opinions on whether being with someone outside your caste is wrong as i think it is perfectly fine as we are both sikhs however my family would disagree very much as were are a Jatt family. He as already told his mum and dad and brother about us and we have only been speaking for 2 weeks and they are fine with it. My family want me to find a jatt boy but not currently. I think that it is okay that i'm with someone who is not of the same caste however i do notice some differences such as hes superstitious and i on the other hand think it's bulls**t and i have told him that. Also i feel that we call certain family members by different names e.g. i call my brothers wife bhabi ji and he would call his brothers wife perji. I feel that people say caste doesn't matter but their is a few differences that are clear but we can over look. I want to know whether this current situation is okay as i told my cousin and he feels that because he is not jatt i shouldn't be with him. I also see where he is coming from because there is clear differences between us but however we are both sikhs therefore surely it cannot be that bad as guru ji said we shouldn't believe in the caste system even though clear differences are still highlighted within certain areas and i feel that maybe being with a jatt boy would be easier.

you are a kid who should be more worried about your studies than BF issues , OK he's partada so what  ain't no thing to myself or anyone I know because we believe all sikhs are all equal in Guru ji's eyes however it is your maa pio who are not happy . The reason they are saying don't find someone else right now is they want you to focus on the correct thing your studies and future. Last thing you want to do is go the bollywood drama route and messup your A levels ...

There is plenty of time to worry about your life partner later, honestly getting with someone who is going to sour your relationship with your family is a really bad idea as it will leave you with zero support if anything goes wrong . Maybe postpone all this rush and say to your folks that you will revisit this whole issue in a year or so,  and you make it clear to your BF there is no messing around to be had and we'll all see if he lasts the distance of time proposed  ...

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14 hours ago, Guest fghsrg said:

99 views and no reply sorry to see no one is helping you within this topic 

I like the sentiment, but help her out then, lol. 

I like bhenji's advice to slow things down, and test the boy's commitment but minor differences don't ruin a marriage. 

Anyone who is objecting based on caste alone has some growing to do. Don't let their approval or disapproval sway you. I'm sure they mean well but that isn't thinking based on Sikhi that's  jattism, and not one of the shinier smiled upon mindsets that jatts are infamous for. 

I'd say take it slow, study and grow academically and marry whoever Vaheguru calls you to without thoughts of caste. 

 

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17 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

I'd say take it slow, study and grow academically and marry whoever Vaheguru calls you to without thoughts of caste. 

I always wondered about that. Ppl are always saying God told me to do this or that. Like God called me to marry this or that person. How do ppl know? I always think its our karam that make us do things or give the opportunity to do things. And karam can be good or bad. And their outcomes can be bad or good too...

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5 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

I always wondered about that. Ppl are always saying God told me to do this or that. Like God called me to marry this or that person. How do ppl know? I always think its our karam that make us do things or give the opportunity to do things. And karam can be good or bad. And their outcomes can be bad or good too...

That's probably true. What I was trying to express to the OP is pray on it and follow your heart. 

Free will is an interesting concept when everything is Vaheguru's hukam, whether it's karam or hukam, it's still hukam? Important things like a soul marriage I think might have more...direct...hukam perhaps?

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22 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

I like the sentiment, but help her out then, lol. 

I like bhenji's advice to slow things down, and test the boy's commitment but minor differences don't ruin a marriage. 

Anyone who is objecting based on caste alone has some growing to do. Don't let their approval or disapproval sway you. I'm sure they mean well but that isn't thinking based on Sikhi that's  jattism, and not one of the shinier smiled upon mindsets that jatts are infamous for. 

I'd say take it slow, study and grow academically and marry whoever Vaheguru calls you to without thoughts of caste. 

 

Confused face says marry within your own caste only apparently. Heh. 

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what the heck is a pardra?

And why are you doing this nonsense dating stuff, has your family not taught you any sanskar.

Low caste or high caste or whatever, this girlfriend boyfriend stuff is waste mentality. Decent dharmik families only do grihast jeevan. If you want to "get with" someone, then you do it by marriage or Anand Karaj, not this no class trashy dating sheep mentality!

We are out of the pends, now need to behave a bit better!

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  • 3 months later...
Guest Amandeep
On 2/23/2018 at 11:58 PM, Guest Sukhi1 said:

Hi there, 

 

I'm an 18 year old girl, i'm a sikh who is not an amritari and i'm with a pardra ( type of low caste dunno how to spell it sorry) sikh boy. I want to know your guys opinions on whether being with someone outside your caste is wrong as i think it is perfectly fine as we are both sikhs however my family would disagree very much as were are a Jatt family. He as already told his mum and dad and brother about us and we have only been speaking for 2 weeks and they are fine with it. My family want me to find a jatt boy but not currently. I think that it is okay that i'm with someone who is not of the same caste however i do notice some differences such as hes superstitious and i on the other hand think it's bulls**t and i have told him that. Also i feel that we call certain family members by different names e.g. i call my brothers wife bhabi ji and he would call his brothers wife perji. I feel that people say caste doesn't matter but their is a few differences that are clear but we can over look. I want to know whether this current situation is okay as i told my cousin and he feels that because he is not jatt i shouldn't be with him. I also see where he is coming from because there is clear differences between us but however we are both sikhs therefore surely it cannot be that bad as guru ji said we shouldn't believe in the caste system even though clear differences are still highlighted within certain areas and i feel that maybe being with a jatt boy would be easier.

Do not take early fast decision.1st think if he  is using you or not 

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Guest Sukhi,

The important thing is pursuing your happiness. Sikhi is AGAINST cast. In fact cast does not exist as far as a TRUE Sikh is concerned. Literally, the only difference is in the appearances. THAT'S IT! FULL STOP!

It is a shame we still follow caste, one of our greatest problems. One purpose of Guru Nanak Ji was to eradicate caste in Sikhi. Look at wha we're doing?

Know the original panj pyaare? All 5 different castes! From low to high. Know Bhagat Dhanna ji? Low caste. SAME BHAGAT WHO'S GURBANI IS PRESENT IN GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI MAHARAAJ! SAME MAHARAAJ WE BOW DOWN TO!!!

Along with your love life concentrate on yer studies too. Also, you logged in on here means you have an interest in Sikhi? EXCELLENT. It's good to learn even a little. You do not have to be Amritdhaari but, do some form of prayer every single day.

Search up gurbani online and look at texts pertaining to Caste n wha our Gurus have said (WARNING! Read whole sentence n understand. Don't fall into the "read what suits you" n manipulate it you own way).

Also focus on your studies. What is important? You need to follow whas important, what matters to YOU!

Explain to your parents why caste doesn't exist in Sikh.

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Guest Genda

Dear Sukhi1,

Please tell us what caste does Jatt and Padra fall into ie Brahmin, Khatri, Vaisya or Shudra and what actions did Jatts do to denigrate the low castes like Padras. Thanks.

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Guest Genda
1 hour ago, Singh1989 said:

Guest Sukhi,

The important thing is pursuing your happiness. Sikhi is AGAINST cast. In fact cast does not exist as far as a TRUE Sikh is concerned. Literally, the only difference is in the appearances. THAT'S IT! FULL STOP!

It is a shame we still follow caste, one of our greatest problems. One purpose of Guru Nanak Ji was to eradicate caste in Sikhi. Look at wha we're doing?

Know the original panj pyaare? All 5 different castes! From low to high. Know Bhagat Dhanna ji? Low caste. SAME BHAGAT WHO'S GURBANI IS PRESENT IN GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI MAHARAAJ! SAME MAHARAAJ WE BOW DOWN TO!!!

Along with your love life concentrate on yer studies too. Also, you logged in on here means you have an interest in Sikhi? EXCELLENT. It's good to learn even a little. You do not have to be Amritdhaari but, do some form of prayer every single day.

Search up gurbani online and look at texts pertaining to Caste n wha our Gurus have said (WARNING! Read whole sentence n understand. Don't fall into the "read what suits you" n manipulate it you own way).

Also focus on your studies. What is important? You need to follow whas important, what matters to YOU!

Explain to your parents why caste doesn't exist in Sikh.

 Wasnt Bhagat Dhanna a Jatt?

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  • 2 weeks later...

this jatt girl with pardra post, is it posted every year. what the heck is a pardra?

A sikh is not "supposed to be with" boys or girls. They are supposed to be in grihast with life partner, ie after marriage. If you're doing this stupid trashy girlfriend boyfriend casual partnership then it doesn't matter which caste or race religion panth, then it's just gand behaviour, manmatt.

As a sikh, only look for a life partner. Casual partner and then this exe stuff is just malesh behaviour.

 

On 6/22/2018 at 4:04 PM, Guest Genda said:

 Wasnt Bhagat Dhanna a Jatt?

Yes, Guru Arjan Dev ji calls Bhagat Dhanna a Jatt.

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Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh
Quote

I'm an 18 year old girl, i'm a sikh who is not an amritari and i'm with a pardra ( type of low caste dunno how to spell it sorry) sikh boy. I want to know your guys opinions on whether being with someone outside your caste is wrong as i think it is perfectly fine as we are both sikhs however my family would disagree very much as were are a Jatt family

You see the danger of becoming too fixated with something that doesn't even exist in reality - i.e. 'caste' - is that you lose sight of other obvious things that do actually exist. So, if your question is "can a marriage between a jatt girl and a bhatra boy work?" the answer is Yes for some people and No for some others. Anything and everything can 'work' if you want it to. It all depends on the individual - your cultural background, how much you are 'in' with your cultural background etc. In that sense the issues brought up by this type of marriage are no different to those brought up in a proposed marriage between a Swede and a Croatian. They're both human, they're both Christian, they're both white....but it would be foolish to pretend that no cultural differences exist. In terms of your own culture you need to make yourself aware that whilst the cultural differences between you and a Tharkan or Khatri for example are very small and mostly not even noticeable the cultural differences between you and the Bhatras are absolutely huge. In reality, as a Punjabi, in terms of everyday Punjabi culture, you have far more in common with Hindu Punjabis and Muslim Punjabis that you would with Bhatras. These differences are not insurmountable and love does and can conquer all so don't let anybody tell you that it can never work. It could work. But I think you need to stop thinking about 500 year old concepts of 'caste' and start thinking about real-life cultural differences.

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